“Stay a little longer”

Today I will talk about one of the saddest parts of my life. And I hope that this will help someone who is going/went through the same thing.

I had the blessing to have the most amazing grandparents you can ever think. That type of elders like in the fairytales we grew up with: caring, loving, supportive, and the best cookers.

I lost my first grandpa when I was 8. Before going to school, my grandma called and said that he is gone. Although it hurt a lot, I was too little to understand the real deal. I only knew that he became my angel. The second one taught me the most important lesson of my life and the saddest at the same time. I was 20, studying abroad. It was time to go back to uni, and I went to say goodbye to them. I was coming back home in less than a month, so I didn’t stay too long then. For the first time in my life, my grandpa was begging me to stay a little more. Few more minutes. I was in such a rush that I didn’t couldn’t but promised him that I will be back soon and then I will stay longer for sure. And next time I did stay longer. At the cemetery. He died 2 weeks after I went back to uni. I wasn’t able to attend his funeral and didn’t have the chance to say a proper goodbye.
For 8 years I hated myself more than you can ever imagine. For being in a rush, for not staying with him longer, for not saying goodbye, for everything. I went through an unbelievable mental pain. I ended up with depression and panic attacks. But eventually, I started to heal and move on.

My grandma (his wife) is 84. And today, after years of being apart, her sons and her nephews gathered together around a big table, full of laughs and stories and memories and great food. At one point, she acted like she was saying goodbye to us. Not directly, but choosing the right words. I felt that completely. And she asked just for one thing: to stay a little longer. And this time, I stayed. We stayed for 7 hours (don’t know when the time passed). And we will meet again tomorrow. If she feels like this may the end for her, I want to make sure that she is loved and cared for.

We don’t know what life has in store for us. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone. So please do me a favor, guys. Next time you visit your elders, stay a little longer, and show them more love. Call them more often. You never know when it is the end. I would give years of my life for 5 more minutes with my grandfathers. But I can’t and it hurts. I took them for granted, so please don’t do the same mistake.

P.s. Love you lots, my angels‚ĶI wish you could’ve just stayed a little longer ūüė¶

“If you focus on yourself,your ex will be back”

It is the title of a magazine that I saw today. I am sure that you know this statement very well, especially if you have been through a bad heartbreak. Everyone says the same: “Oh, do yourself, and when they will see you glowing, they will be back.” Really? It is so easy to say, but so hard to do it.
Ok, fair enough, you pay more attention to you, go shopping, change your appearance, but mentally? When mentally you are out of order, how can you focus on yourself? Have you ever appeared strong and acted like you moved on in front of your friends and family, but while you were alone, you were crying yourself to sleep? Ever felt like one moment you weren’t good enough for that person and the next one you would move mountains for them to come back? How can you focus on yourself, when you finally feel like you are healing, and it’s enough to hear a song or have a flashback, and you are into pieces again? Everyone thinks that if you appear happy, you moved on. Nope, some just learned how to hide the pain very well.

Let me tell you something that may be disturbing to you. That title is a huge BS. Why? Because when you focus on yourself and healing, you won’t need your ex back. You will understand that you deserve the best. And your ex is not. Your ex is just a lesson and a part of your PAST. You will accept that having your ex back is like reading the same book but expecting the end to be different.

If you want to focus on yourself, do it for your own good. Not for anyone else. No one truly knows what battles you are having inside or how hard it is to move on when the pain is excruciating. And remember one thing: someone who truly cares and loves you would never let anything or anyone to affect your relationship.

Why so serious?

I grew up in the Family Guy and South Park generation. For those who never heard about these shows, google them. For the rest, you know what I am talking about. I am 28 and still watch them as they still make me laugh and show the true colors of the society. Unfortunately, what was supposed to be a funny cartoon, ended up to be a mirror of what is going on in the world at the moment.

What made us become so easily offended? Since when any type of joke is some sort of discrimination? Like I saw a lot of people in my generation who are acting like royals and take everything personally…what is wrong with you? I was looking at Tik Tok last night and a guy made a super funny joke about a topic. I swear that the comments were mainly full of hate and cancel culture bullshit. For me, nowadays, Tik Tok is the most important source of hate and bullying. Five minutes with that application and you already want to cancel the entire world, based on what is going on there. We are in 2020. I understand that there are certain topics such as body shaming, LGBTQ, racism, religion and so on that must stay away from any type of jokes, but when did we become so serious?

There are shows like the ones above + Rick and Morty, Archer, and others who are extremely sarcastic and if you have enough brain to understand them, can teach some pretty good stuff. These easily offended individuals should watch a season or two, maybe they will comprehend that the world doesn’t revolve around them.

We should understand 1 thing: we have only one life. And I don’t know how funny your life can be if the only thing you know to do is to complain all the time and throw hate at others. Smile more and try to educate yourself‚Ķ Life has a lot of positive things to offer..You just have to see them.

Today I am grateful for…

Hello everybody! Today is a better day than yesterday, worse than tomorrow. Just as Dory was saying in Finding Nemo:” When life gets you down, you know what you’ve gotta do?: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming”. This is what we all got to do: keep swimming in this ocean called life. Anyways, today is not about Disney movies, but gratefulness.

We are so used to have things and get more and complain when we can’t have something, that we forget to be grateful for what we already have. We become miserable by looking on social media and see celebrities or other people having expensive clothes, houses, and cars by developing a sense of envy for not having them too. At the same time forget to thank for what we do have instead of focusing on what we don’t.

But let me ask you something: Did you eat today? Did you drink clean water? Are you dressed? Are you still able to call your parents or grandparents? Do you have at least a person who you know truly cares about you and vice versa? If your answer was yes for any of these questions, then you are blessed and have at least 1 thing to be grateful for. You woke up, you got a new chance to live. Someone is losing their loved one right now, someone didn’t eat anything today. Others don’t have where to sleep or water to drink. The most basic needs.

Be grateful for your body, your mind, your soul. You are unique. Be grateful for your past: it taught you something; your present: you are still alive. The future is unsure for everybody. No one knows what will be tomorrow. Or if there will be tomorrow. Be grateful for life, for love, for everything that surrounds you.

Today I am grateful for you, the one who is reading this. The person who, through a blog post gets to be part of my life, my story, my journey. You? What are you grateful for today?:)

My life is not your pit stop.

Today is one of those blue days when you feel like a robot, doing what you have to do but feeling empty. The perfect setup for the memories to resurface.The sad ones, not the good ones. It is a day when you either go back in time and be with that specific person or wish to have a superpower to erase him from your mind.

Maybe schools should have a special course about human emotions and feelings. Perhaps like this, people will understand that these are not toys but things that could damage a person for a long time, sometimes forever. You’re not a better person or more interesting if you play with someone‚Ķquite the opposite. It only shows your lack of empathy, education, self-esteem, and mental stability. I am sick of people coming into others’ life just for fun‚Ķor for not feeling lonely. Mate, my life is not your pit stop. If you come into my life, stay. Or do not come at all. It is that easy. Don’t make me fall for you when you have someone else or are unsure about your feelings for me. Tell me straight what you want, games are for kids, we are adults.

Dating nowadays is an absolute joke. Trusting people becomes an impossible mission, and loyalty, well, I think that loyalty slowly but surely only becomes a word in the dictionary, nothing else. You never know what a person is going through, which demons she/he has to battle. So don’t make it worse. Due to one like you, she/he may lose an amazing person because they will think that everyone is like you, so what is the point of trying again? Sort out yourself first. If you aren’t happy with yourself, no one will ever make you. Seeking validation or love from others, but having nothing to give in return, will only show how little and pathetic you are as a human. And remember that what goes around always, but always come around. Good luck with that.

There is a saying: “Use objects, not people. Love people, not objects”. We should keep this in mind.

You are not good enough!!!….says who?

On the other side, when someone tells you this, pay attention to what type of person he/she is saying. Is he/she better than you? More experienced? Do they have dreams that they are working on? Or are those people who only live to interfere in others’ life?

I want to tell you something about my personal experience. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!!! YOU ARE CAPABLE AND ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR YOUR DREAMS!! Let them talk, is the only thing they can do. You do yourself. It won’t be easy‚Ķnothing is easy in this life. There will be days when you will feel like you can move the mountains‚Ķand days that will feel like the mountains are falling over you. So what? Keep going.

One of my exes told me that I would never be good enough for anything…one of my ex-friends believed that I will never be able to do what I always wanted. And the tables turned, and they saw me succeed. Because I know what I am capable of. So if they leave you or tell you that you should change cause otherwise you are not good for them, let them go… or you go. You will always be good enough who truly see the value of yourself and your potential.

“You are not good enough! You may not be ready for this! You are worthless!”. I am sure we have all heard this bs at least once in our lives. Either from a teacher, a parent, friend, lover, or family, these statements are some of the worst “weapons” people are using against each other. And the scenario is always the same: they either say it for your good or just because they don’t want you to embarrass yourself. One of my dearest persons had always dreamed of being a cop. Her father told her so much that she is not good enough to do it and that he only wants the best for her, that eventually, she gave up on her dreams, and even now, 30 years after, she regrets it.

On the other side, when someone tells you this, pay attention to what type of person he/she is saying. Is he/she better than you? More experienced? Do they have dreams that they are working on? Or are those people who only live to interfere in others’ life?

I want to tell you something about my personal experience. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!!! YOU ARE CAPABLE AND ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR YOUR DREAMS!! Let them talk, is the only thing they can do. You do yourself. It won’t be easy‚Ķnothing is easy in this life. There will be days when you will feel like you can move the mountains‚Ķand days that will feel like the mountains are falling over you. So what? Keep going.

One of my exes told me that I would never be good enough for anything…one of my ex-friends believed that I will never be able to do what I always wanted. And the tables turned, and they saw me succeed. Because I know what I am capable of. So if they leave you or tell you that you should change cause otherwise you are not good for them, let them go… or you go. You will always be good enough who truly see the value of yourself and your potential.

“You are not good enough! You may not be ready for this! You are worthless!”. I am sure we have all heard this bs at least once in our lives. Either from a teacher, a parent, friend, lover, or family, these statements are some of the worst “weapons” people are using against each other. And the scenario is always the same: they either say it for your good or just because they don’t want you to embarrass yourself. One of my dearest persons had always dreamed of being a cop. Her father told her so much that she is not good enough to do it and that he only wants the best for her, that eventually, she gave up on her dreams, and even now, 30 years after, she regrets it.

On the other side, when someone tells you this, pay attention to what type of person he/she is saying. Is he/she better than you? More experienced? Do they have dreams that they are working on? Or are those people who only live to interfere in others’ life?

I want to tell you something about my personal experience. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!!! YOU ARE CAPABLE AND ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR YOUR DREAMS!! Let them talk, is the only thing they can do. You do yourself. It won’t be easy‚Ķnothing is easy in this life. There will be days when you will feel like you can move the mountains‚Ķand days that will feel like the mountains are falling over you. So what? Keep going.

One of my exes told me that I would never be good enough for anything…one of my ex-friends believed that I will never be able to do what I always wanted. And the tables turned, and they saw me succeed. Because I know what I am capable of. So if they leave you or tell you that you should change cause otherwise you are not good for them, let them go… or you go. You will always be good enough who truly see the value of yourself and your potential.

A love story to remember.

It is a rainy day…one of those whose when the only thing you want to do is to stay in bed and cuddle and watch movies with your partner. And this weather somehow made me think of love today, so this will be the topic for today: LOVE. I went today and had a coffee with my grandma. She and my grandfather were together for 50 years. And they loved each other with the same passion until my grandpa died. They and my parents are my models when it comes to love and family. And we started to talk about relationships then and now. Somehow made me believe that maybe I was born in the wrong generation.

Nowadays, relationships are so complex but empty. We run from responsibilities, but want others to see how happy we are. We forget to build together, and when the first problem appears, we search for the easiest solving, which sometimes means either the cheating or the breakup. As my grandma was saying, people were cheating when she was young too, but now it got worse as the options are endless: social media, dating app being the biggest traps. Another thing that was different back then was that people were willing to build a life together. Now, we want everything to happen right now and not wait for things to unfold. I have friends who broke up with amazing people as they didn’t have a prosperous financial situation. Our generation is more impressed by looks and finances than the soul and what you can do with that person in the long run.

But what left me speechless was that my grandma said that people choose to stay in a toxic/out of love relationship just for the status. More specifically, what will people say? Since I was a kid, they taught that if you don’t love or don’t feel that a person is right for you, let her go. Never stay with someone just for the public status: oh, she is with someone. Nope. Be with someone who truly respects, helps you grow, and makes you become the best version of yourself. Unfortunately, I know too many cases where the man or the woman have lost the feelings for each other or are not happy anymore. But prefer to stay in a relationship for the status or the kids. And they not only lose the chance of being truly happy with someone else but also precious years, as life is not waiting for any of us.

So where is that pure, true love we all crave for? That one you take your partner and go on adventures? The one that makes you want to conquer the world and create the most amazing memories? That love that makes you feel complete and the luckiest person in the world? Am I too romantic? Am I thinking of something that doesn’t exist anymore? Or the fact that maybe we met the wrong people made us believe that love is not for us or doesn’t exist?

Until we will find the answer, I want to wish you all a fantastic weekend, and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey :)!

Online dating:biggest scam or best lesson?

Hello everybody! Today I want to talk about a topic that somehow affected my life lately. And I am sure I am not the only one.
Online dating started to gain more popularity, especially now, with this pandemic. People find it easier to get an idea of their possible partners on social media before meeting in person, which being honest, I find it pretty useful. However, the story changes when the reality has nothing to do with the “perfect picture/life shown online.” Because let’s be serious, all of us are trying to show and pretend to be the best on social media. I have been pretty lucky to meet some fantastic guys online that now I am blessed to call them my friends. But as every fairytale has its bad parts too, I had the bad luck to meet some people that received block immediately due to their way of talking. And the worst: been ghosted by guys that I caught feelings for, or found out that they were in other relationships.

Long story short, being a long-time single girl, I decided one night to reply on a social network app to a guy. Didn’t expect anything, so I just went with the flow. 5 hours lasted our first discussion. That type of discussion, that you never want to end. I felt such strong chemistry with that guy like I never felt before. Eventually, we talked daily, for hours. I went to bed and woke up with his texts. Days passed, and he became desperate to meet me, but not in my city. At the same time, he was avoiding letting me add him on Facebook which somehow raised a flag and made me think if he has something to hide. And he did. He was in a long-time relationship while trying to get me too. I confronted him, did not react, but at the same time, tried to get a date with me. He didn’t, and because of it, he stopped talking to me and unfollowed me on social media.

I start to believe that these apps are just a loss of time. It is like a lottery, but unfortunately, most of the time you lose, as some people are only looking to get laid and forget they know you after. So pay attention to the flags and what your intuition is telling you, cause you never know what you may end up with. It only may further decrease your self-esteem and may you question why weren’t you enough? Well, guess what? You were enough,they weren’t.

When a stranger gives you the best lesson.

“I worked in the hospitality industry for three years. And this gave me the chance to meet some great people with whom I am still friends today. One of them is my ex operations manager. The person who tried to change my life while I was working with him, but I refused and learned the lessons he was trying to give me the hard way.

I was a very arrogant but at the same time depressed girl. The type who wants to change the world, but not today. I wasn’t saw anything positive, always complaining about everything. And in the end, after several times of threatening of living, I finally did. But before that, my ex-manager wanted to give me another chance and had a soul-to-soul discussion about being more positive and open to opportunities. I heard what he had to say, but didn’t pay too much attention to put it into practice.

I went back home, ended up unemployed and in the wrongest relationship of my life. The result? A depression that almost drove me to suicide, more toxic people, and a complete lack of sense in my life. And then is when I remembered that discussion, and realized that the problem was no one but myself. My life, my decisions, my results.

So I started to read personal development books, meditate, did courses and met new people and made new friends. And then came the biggest test: a new relationship. I’ve met someone amazing on the internet and thought he was the one‚Ķbut after a month I found out that he was in a 6 years long-distance relationship. And then is when I understood that I was finally healed from the past and stronger than I thought. I left him but compared to my previous relationship, this time I knew how to deal with the situation and show more love and respect for myself.

And the most beautiful thing this taught me is that I am ENOUGH. It’s fantastic to have people who truly care and love you, but if you are not OK with yourself, you will never be happy. So cherish yourself more than anything else”

Hello everybody! This is an email that I received from a girl who wants to tell you her story. About how in life, you should receive the help and support at the right time and not wait until you are on the edge of life.

“I worked in the hospitality industry for three years. And this gave me the chance to meet some great people with whom I am still friends today. One of them is my ex operations manager. The person who tried to change my life while I was working with him, but I refused and learned the lessons he was trying to give me the hard way.

I was a very arrogant but at the same time depressed girl. The type who wants to change the world, but not today. I wasn’t saw anything positive, always complaining about everything. And in the end, after several times of threatening of living, I finally did. But before that, my ex-manager wanted to give me another chance and had a soul-to-soul discussion about being more positive and open to opportunities. I heard what he had to say, but didn’t pay too much attention to put it into practice.

I went back home, ended up unemployed and in the wrongest relationship of my life. The result? A depression that almost drove me to suicide, more toxic people, and a complete lack of sense in my life. And then is when I remembered that discussion, and realized that the problem was no one but myself. My life, my decisions, my results.

So I started to read personal development books, meditate, did courses and met new people and made new friends. And then came the biggest test: a new relationship. I’ve met someone amazing on the internet and thought he was the one‚Ķbut after a month I found out that he was in a 6 years long-distance relationship. And then is when I understood that I was finally healed from the past and stronger than I thought. I left him but compared to my previous relationship, this time I knew how to deal with the situation and show more love and respect for myself.

And the most beautiful thing this taught me is that I am ENOUGH. It’s fantastic to have people who truly care and love you, but if you are not OK with yourself, you will never be happy. So cherish yourself more than anything else”

A toxic relationship:the worst nightmare.

Hello everybody! For the past few days, I had this topic in mind, trying to decide if I should write about it or not. And here we are.

This post is a true story that I hope will help others who are in the same situation. There comes a moment in your life when you fall in love with the wrongest person. You know, that type of relationship who takes everything and sometimes, everyone from you, but gives nothing instead. The relationship that makes you feel worthless, incomplete, and a total wreck.

Well, the wounds left after you break up with your toxic partner are extremely hard to heal. The mental and physical pain is so hard to deal with. It feels like you have no life left inside and have no clue how to go back to your life, the one before this nightmare.

And when you think that you healed and ready to move on, someone appears in your life. A handsome, well-educated, and sexy as hell man. The type of guy with whom you speak until 3 am and feel like it’s been a 30 minutes discussion and not 5 hours one. And he sees through you, your rawest side, the one completely naked (and not talking about clothes). And at that moment, the triggers start: The comparison with the toxic ex begins, bringing back memories and wounds that you project onto the new guy. And you start to question every little thing he says or does. You want him, but at the same time, you are scared as hell.

And then one night, he disappears without saying anything. And then the worst scenario comes to your mind: you have been ghosted again. He abandoned you too. And your anxiety, overthinking, and everything else hits again. Stronger than ever. Because you realize that you had a chance with a great guy and you lost it. But he comes back. Just had an emergency….. And then is the moment when you realize that you fell for him. But what do you do when the fear of the past, still plays you? Do you fight to open up and gain a chance to be happy? Or do you lose the guy, give in to the ghost of the past and live a miserable life?

Maybe life gives you a real chance to happiness or another lesson. No one knows but as Eminem’s song says :
“Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?”

The decision belongs to each one of us. Let’s just make it the right way. Love you all and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey.