The only certainty that life gives you is yourself.

Hello everybody! Today is about a topic that we sometimes try to avoid because we find it hard to believe.

Since childhood, we are taught to deal with people. Not only with families, but people in general. And we hear very often the phrase ” I will always be with you”. And we raise and believe that, those words are real and that people will stay forever in our lives. Unfortunately, no one told us that forever doesn’t exist. As strange as it may sound, everyone is temporary. The only “forever” in our own lives is ourselves. No matter how close you are to someone, and how much you wish for that person to be part of your life, they will leave sooner or later. It is life’s process.

How many times you didn’t hear from your lover, best friend, and so on ” I will never leave you/ I am not like everyone else/ I am here to stay” and one day they just vanished? And you are being left on your own again, starting to put the pieces together and hoping that the next one will stay longer. The law of humanity says that what has a beginning, also has an ending. It is natural. Some endings are abrupt and painful, some just come naturally. The only things that are left are memories and lessons.

In our lives, we tend to give more credits to others, than to ourselves. But let me ask you something. Who is carrying on even when times seem hopeless? Who is fighting with everything and manages to put a smile on even when the inside storms are stronger than ever? That is right: you. People in our lives only know a piece of the entire story…of our story. No one can live your story, know you better than yourself, or how much you have suffered/ dealt with.

It is you who get out of bed every morning and get ready for another day. Who knows what comes next? The only undeniable idea is that until you die, you are your only forever.

Love you all, be safe and have a great day!!

Control is not love

Happy Easter to all the Orthodox people reading this. I hope everyone is ok. Today is about something that we tend to understand as a form of caring: control. And it is a great mistake that we do. Because, by controlling others, we only manage to push them away from our life.

Control comes in many ways but being constantly asked questions like: ” who texted/called you?”, “Why are you appearing online and who are you talking to?”, ” why/ how/when/where….?” or repeated ” suggestions” of what they think may be better for you, without asking for their opinion are only a small part of what being controlled is. And when you ask them to stop or ask for explanations, is always the same answer:” I care for/love you and want to know everything about you”. What needs to be understood is that by nature, people are free. Even though we try to understand this type of behavior, sooner or later, we’ll “break the chain and try to escape”.

Either this or if it’s family-related will try to hide everything from them. To let them know only the basics. The control is learned from childhood, when parents, with/without realizing, are implying the idea that control is a form of caring and that love is shown by this. Little do they know, that when the children grow up, will either maintain the same path or will become adults addicted to being controlled by others, as they don’t know any other way.

And don’t get me wrong, I agree with knowing what your child is doing. I am only talking about that control when you are living your child’s life. Control is toxic for any type of relationship. Parents, lovers, friends, everything. And by this, you are not losing people around you. You also show how little you trust yourself and how low is your self-esteem. Because believe it or not, control is often done by those who are frustrated (any reason), have anger problems, low self-esteem, self-love, and don’t trust themselves too much…

So next time when you are being controlled, analyze if it’s something wrong that you did, or if the problem is with them. And if the answer is the last part, then you surely deserve better. Have a fantastic Sunday everybody!

Be all in or get all out

This seems to be the definition of 2021 so far. Since the first month, 2021 seemed to be the next level of what 2020 began. For many of us, 2021 continues to be the transforming path that the pandemic brought.

This year showed me how much 2020 changed me. I lost people that I loved and if 2 years ago or even last year I would have tried to keep them, well this year I just let them go. No explanation, no goodbye, no heartache. A closed door and that’s it.

I started to lose weight and proved to myself that as long as I am disciplined and focused, I can achieve everything. But the most important thing is that the key to happiness is to love and respect yourself first. Asking or expecting things from the wrong people will only damage you. Being an option is not a choice. Learn to be a priority, not an option. Don’t forget that the winner takes it all. And you are not a loser.

Don’t give anyone the chance to take the control of your life. No one is allowed to tell you what you can do or not. Almost three weeks ago, I got the vaccine for Covid 19 and some of my friends were like ” Oh you must crazy/stupid and so on for doing it and for believing in this virus”. Well, I don’t care. I put myself and my family above anyone else. So if I chose to do it, any opinion regarding my choice is worthless. Do you want anything? Go for it. It is better to get rejected or lose than regret that you didn’t do it.

Life is too short and beautiful. There are so many opportunities and things to do. Give the best of yourself always and don’t be afraid of what may happen. If it fails, it was a lesson. But what if you win? Be all in or get all out… Don’t accept to be in the middle when you can be the greatest. Have a lovely day everybody!

Dreams are to be pursued, not told

Hello everybody! Do you know those moments when you have big dreams? Like when you feel that you can conquer the world? Well, today is about dreams.

Since I was a kid, I had lots of dreams…so many plans and dreams, that I was so happy to tell others about. Until one point. Until the day I realized that not everyone who calls themselves a friend, actually is. You can never be sure of the true intentions of anyone. Family, friends, lovers, coworkers, no one can truly guarantee that they are true to you.

If I can give you a piece of advice, stop telling people your moves. Stop telling them every single dream of you. Instead, work for it. In silence. You will fail, multiple times. Life is not a win-win game. But at least you will know that it was all your fault. What do I mean by this? Well, let me tell you a story. One of my dear people, someone who I truly trusted and loved, seemed to always be so “protective and loving”. Little did I know she was just jealous. Every time I was telling her about a new project or interview she behaved really happy for me until the day that the event was supposed to happen. On that day, every single time, she was finding a reason to put me down; either that “maybe” I am not qualified or good enough, maybe I am just losing time for nothing, and so on. And although I knew what I can do, mentally she was draining me so much, that I was blocking myself, which made me lose not only jobs but also give up on dreams that I really wanted to pursue.

And this continued until one day when I completely stopped telling people about my life. Not even a word. And believe me, that there was a huge difference. Because I was showing them the new me. Nothing else. I went from failure to failure, until I got the chance to do what I want. Until I found my way. Don’t wait for validation from others. Look inside you and see what you are capable of. No one knows you better than yourself.

And never forget: the sky is the limit. Love you all and have a fantastic weekend!!!

The frequency of love

In today’s society, love is more needed than ever. We all look for and crave love. Some of us admit some don’t. But the mechanism of life is given by love.

What we sometimes don’t understand is that love is not only the words ” I love you”. Love has its unique way to be prooved. A nice gesture, a message which shows care, being there for the person you love, showing support when they stop believing in themselves speak louder than the words. Phrases like ” I am proud of you/ I know you can do it”, ” Did you eat?/ arrived safely?”, ” I am here if you need me” or “You are not alone” weighs so much coming from the people you love.

Love is not only about your partner. Nope. Love has all the forms: love for family, friends, animals, hobbies, and so on. And this is the beauty of it. There are so many ways to experiment and offer love. However, what we learn with growing in life, is that we can give love to the wrong person. Not everyone deserves our love. Some people are really not meant for us. But imagine, if you can give love to the wrong person, how blessed will be the right one to be loved by you. Life gives us lessons, love too. It all depends on how much we want to learn.

And don’t worry if you are single now. We have all been there. Some of us are still. But this doesn’t mean that you can’t love or you are not loved. Because you are; look around you and see the people who care and love you. Look into your heart and see how much you love people. You may not be with the person you want now. That’s fine…Don’t despair. Maybe not now, but one day you will find that person who will love you like no one before. Because believe it or not, we all have our soulmate somewhere in this world. And one day you will find it. The only thing that is for sure is that love is the most wonderful gift life can give us.

She was just walking home…

Hello everyone! For the past few days, I keep seeing on social media news about Sarah Everard, the woman murdered in London, and the wave of reactions this has caused. Unfortunately, being a girl, I entirely relate to this.

Being born in a small city, neither I wasn’t exposed to this type of behavior nor had any case of such a violent crime in my town. Although my father and grandfathers always taught me what to do if someone is following me or trying to harass me, I never paid too much attention to it. I had my freedom, I was allowed to go out as long as my parents knew with who and where I was going.

However, the situation changed when I went to study in Birmingham, UK. I remember like it was yesterday when my flatmate came and told me: ” Oh, you are a girl so after 20.00 you shouldn’t go outside unaccompanied”. This is the first that I learned there. And believe it or not, later I realized what was this all about. I was coming home from a friend (around 20:00), properly dressed, nothing sexy, and a guy started to follow me. I started to run like a desperate and moved past my home so I don’t let him know where I live until I found a police lady . Thank God she was really helpful but didn’t get the chance to see him. I was so grateful to be fine and she took me home while I was uncontrollably shaking.

During my uni time, I had to share a campus flat with 3 guys who were out of their minds, and acted like animals, until I couldn’t take it anymore and the administrator moved me into a flat with only guys. I was the only girl. I have never felt safer than in that flat. They were amazing, really well-behaved, always checking on me and treating me like their sister. I was finally happy.

The thing is, not all men are the same. Totally agree. But please understand, that when you are alone on the street and hear someone keeping pace with you, your brain doesn’t stay to process if the man is nice or not. The first reaction, especially if you have been through this before, is feeling threatened. Unfortunately, there are still men who objectify women. And some women have no idea how to educate their sons. NO means NO. Being dressed sexy is not an invitation…Look, don’t touch. Start normalizing basic manners and understand the hell out of it that a woman is not a toy. Start educating your sons for this century. The one where women had no rights is long gone. Society evolved so much, that even some strict religions are giving more rights to women. Normalize letting women go safe on the roads at any time. We are not animals. Keep us closed, just because men can’t keep their instincts under control.

Poor Sarah is just another victim of the poor education, ill system, and the lack of compassion and care towards others. Not the first one, not the last one… But let this be the signal that a change needs to be done. Not only in the UK but worldwide. Women must feel safe, cared and loved around men. Not raped, beaten, and murdered. LEARN THE DAMN DIFFERENCE!!!
Take care and be safe! Love you all!

How may I help?

Hello everybody! A few weeks ago I was trying to find a movie…one of those movie days. But instead, I found the New Amsterdam series on Netflix. As I am in love with the medical series, I have decided to give it a go. Do I have to say that the first 10 episodes were viewed in a day? In my opinion, it is one of the most educative and interesting series that I have seen in a long time. It has everything: love, pain, life lessons, humor, and an amazing cast. The perfect combination.

This series made me regret once more that I declined medical school. But one of the key things you will learn from this is to become a better person towards those in need. As I have said before, some are not showing their internal battles. You never know the real story of someone. So let’s be more like Max Goodwin (the medical director) and ask people “How may I help?”. In a world that darkens daily, let’s be that sparkle for someone. Another good thing that you can extract from this, is to stop acting like you are immortal and live the moment. It is the only guarantee you have. And appreciate who you have at their true value. At this moment, this exact moment that you are reading this, someone is saying the final goodbye. You still have another chance. So go on and enjoy life to its fullest. No one knows when it’s the end. Or how.

New Amsterdam is an addiction. Because after you see the first episode you’ll want more. It’s captivating and it can be an eye-opener. So treat it with precaution:). It shows how a missed opportunity may never come back, but also what’s meant to be, will happen no matter what. There are a lot more things to say about, so just give it a shot and see it.

But until then, I wish you all a fantastic weekend. And don’t forget “How can I help?”. Love you all 🙂

Game of narcissists

Each one of us at least once in our lives had to deal with a narcissistic. In schools, high schools, uni, work, normal life, they are everywhere. And the worst is that they are becoming more, daily.

One of the traits of a narcissist is that is unable to ever see you happy. You are never allowed to have, do, receive or be happier than them. In their mind, the world should revolve around them. But they can also represent huge damage to you. They are like energetical vampires. They suck your energy, try to make you fall for them, put you down, and then disappear. Easy peasy.

I had to deal with this type of people for my entire life. Some of them tried to change me and they saw they couldn’t, they left. Others played mind games which in the end only affected them, as I am not going for that. 

Narcissists always seek attention and approval from everybody as they think they deserve the world, but give nothing in return. They can be in a relationship and still looking for other partners as they are never happy. They lack a lot of things but try to hide this by having an arrogant, selfish attitude.

But the funniest thing in dealing with someone like this is when you give a taste of their own medicine. From my personal experience, I can tell for sure, that this is getting them out of their minds. How? Very easy. Here are 5 ways:

  1. Do you: Pay attention to your needs, desires, and feelings. Most of the time, he will feel “inferior” without recognising, and he will devalue you and your projects believing that by doing this, that feeling will disappear.
  2. Be happy:. I had people with 0 achievements, pathetic, empty-headed narcissists telling me I wasn’t good enough for love, happiness, or success. I shut them down as they didn’t deserve even a word from me and continued to pursue my dreams and happiness.
  3. Take care: Ask for help if needed as narcissists can sometimes become not only mentally but also physically aggressive. Talk to family, close friends, or anyone who could help you get out from them.
  4. Expect being heart-broken but don’t show them: And believe me this kills them (100% proved). Don’t post sad pics, quotes, whatever that can make him see you’re suffering for them. They are craving this, and it will only affect you more. I was dying inside, but always shown a happy face, and this was getting on his nerves as he was realising that he has no more power over me.
  5. Let them go: It will be hard as hell. You will suffer, and be hurt and think that you will never find someone like him (this what they do to you; making you believe that they are the best you will ever found. Trust me, they are the worst). Take time to heal your wounds, regain your power and put all the pieces back together

Although dealing with a narcissist can be painful, it also means a life-changing experience if we are talking about relationships. It will only help you to get back to your roots, see your true colors, your qualities, and what you are capable of. But never settle for someone who doesn’t see your value and only wants to make you his puppet. Don’t forget that you deserve the world!

Happy women’s day!!!

Today is about us. About that powerful force who is capable of overcoming any obstacle and conquer the world.

About that fragile heart who is fighting a thousand battles inside but is seducing the world with just a smile. We are amazing. Regardless the race, religion, sexual orientation, background, or status, we are uniques in our way. We fight for our dreams, rights, and whatever keeps the flame inside us sparkling. We cry, suffer, break into pieces, and sometimes give up. In silence, as we realize that words are not enough. But always put ourselves together again. When we can’t, we can a little more.

We are mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters. There are obstacles and battles, lessons that need to be learned, but there is always a way. We are passionate, love like there is no tomorrow, but at the same time, know how to make ourselves respected and integrate into any group.

Life is not always good, but there is always hope. As long as we are capable of dealing with our monthly “visitors” and give birth, we can move the mountains.

Happy women’s day, ladies!! Keep up with the great work you’re doing 🙂

When past returns

It is one of the saddest and dangerous things. It can either bring you down or make you happy that you moved on. But what if you are in between?

Let’s start with the beginning. You broke up, suffered as hell but eventually decided to start the healing process. There are still nights when you still cry to sleep remembering the good moments, or days when you crave that person like crazy, but get over the need to contact them. You work on yourself, on healing and becoming a better version and somewhere hoping that they will be back.

However, there comes a time when you become confused about wanting them back and realize that maybe you moved on. And then it hits you: you see them in public with someone else or see a social media story with them giving hints about being taken. And boom you are down again. Somewhere deep inside you, there was a hope, that after a period separated, you will be back together. And now they are taken. Your soul goes into pieces and the pain is back again. Everything you achieved so far in the healing process seems worthless now.

WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!!! But why?? Why there is always someone who must suffer for both. If they left you and moved on, do the same thing. You have 1 life. As much as this hurts, they weren’t for you. Nope. Let them be with whoever they want. No one is better than you. And rest assured that somewhere in this world, your person is praying to find you. I waited for 2 years a person!!! 2 years hoping that he will come back and finally see my worth. He did see…someone else’s as he got married after 3 months of the relationship. And I was the one broken. Did it matter?? For me yes…for him absolutely not. So go live your life. If they’re meant for you, they will find their way back. Stop waiting for someone who is living his best life, while you are crying like a baby seeing him happy. Let him and the pain behind. The best is yet to come.

Have a great Sunday!!:) Yanny’s journey continues!