Don’t look for the good, search for the real.

” I no longer look for the good in people, I search for the real… because while good is often dressed in fake clothing, real is naked and proud no matter the scars”. (Chishala Lishomwa). This is the quote of the day. And unfortunately, a quote that applies in life too much.

The majority of us have been raised with the idea of looking for the good in people. My grandma was telling me as a child that no matter what, I always must see the good in people. Up to a point, it worked, but life proved me the opposite. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that is not OK to do it. I am just saying that we should look for the true colors in people. Not only good or bad sides. For example, some people will only try to show you their good side and hide their bad or viceversa.

When you look only for the good, you miss the real. Your brain creates a perfect image of that specific person and when they will prove you wrong, it’s you who will suffer. Let them unfold, show their true feelings and emotions. Listen and watch. Acknowledge the red flags and what your gut has to say about them.

To be more specific, a couple of years ago I fell in love with a guy… excuse me…with the “good” in a guy. I was so happy with what I thought he was;he was showing me his good side. The ones around me saw the real him. When he showed me the real side, I was horrified. Believe me, nothing good. At all. On the other side, this experience made me pay more attention to people and my attachment to them. I lost a few more due to poker faces. But guess what? Looking for the real helped me develop more deep and insightful relationships, positive and healthy friendships and an increased self-esteem.

We should be more raw,vulnerable, REAL. We can all pretend that we’re good people, but not everyone is true.

Love you all and have a fantastic day !:)

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