A letter to my ex

Dear Ex,

I would like to start this letter by thanking you.For everything. We had an amazing time, but sometimes life has different plans for us. Maybe it is better like this.

I fought with everything I had to keep the relationship alive. Until one day…when I realised you were lying me big time. And then I stopped caring.The only outcome of this was the end of the relationship. Which eventually happened. And you were sure that going back to your ex will help you forget of me.

I stopped contacting you and I was sure that you will come back. You did. You started to contact me in any way you could even though you were with her. Nothing changed for me, I was still missing you. The old you. Not the one that broke up with me.

You left her too, as you weren’t happy . Found another one, with a child , who you believed will help you forget of me and make you happy.She was posting every single little thing you were doing on Facebook….. trying to mark her territory. But this didn’t make you stop thinking of me. As you continued stalking me on social media and liking every single post.

And then, on your relationship anniversary, you sent me a text. The last lie that I took from you. And then I realised that you will never change. You continue to be a person who doesn’t respect the woman next to him. Who doesn’t care how much your partner is suffering, as long as you are happy.

Learn that for a relationship it takes 2. One side love is not enough. I wish you all the best.To be happy and have the family you wanted. But do not forget one thing :Karma is a b***h. I have finally moved on and do not care about us anymore. I don’t tremble and smile when I see a like from you. Life goes on. No contact rule is on.

But I really hope you will get more mature at your 33 and treat the people the right way.And start to listen more. Life is not only about yourself. Is about the people you care too.

Now it’s time to say goodbye. What’s next? For you, to sleep with someone while thinking of others. For me following my dreams and find a new one. Maybe the next one will be the right one. For us, it is the end of the road.

Best Regards,

An ex who loved you more than you will ever know.

How can being gay be changed by religion??

Since I was a child I have been thought by people around me that being gay/lesbian is a disease. I was 19 when I first met one. And it was “love at first sight”. He is still one of my best friends and is the one who changed my mind completely. Throughout the time, due to university and work, had the chance to create a group of LGBT people. And although I am straight, I loved going to their parties and parades with my friends.

Last night I was with one of them, shopping. While we were in the queue to pay, there was a foreign old couple behind us who suddenly approached my friend. They were very religious and started to be very rude to him , by telling him that he is an error of  nature and I should pray for his soul to come back to normality. They kept telling us that in their country, he would be killed for being gay and he should seek religious and mental help.

Now my question is: how on earth can religion change a gay/lesbian orientation?? It would be like if I’m praying God to make lesbian and tomorrow when I will wake up, I will be one??? This is pure b******t. I know people who took their lives for not being accepted in their family or friends circle when they came out.

People should understand that being gay is not a choice. Is not like a pair of shoes that you choose to wear. It’s something that you are born with. I have an acquaintance who was married for 10 years and had children because his family obliged him. When his parents died, he married a guy. And he is extremely happy, as he always knew he is gay. And his wife had a double life while trying to cover him.

If you believe that whoever you are praying to, will change your child’s orientation, you have no brain. We should be more open-mind and accept love in all its forms. Why it should bother me that the guy or the girl next to me has a different orientation. It’s his/her life.

The worst thing that the “lady” told my boy last night was “being gay will also make you look for small children attention. You will become a pedophile too.” This broke his heart. He is a teaching assistant. And is doing an amazing job. The kids really love him. But what has to do being a gay with a pedophile?? There are a lot of straight pedophiles too. Are they better just because they are straight??

We should pay more attention to what are we talking about. And if we are not sure about something, just shut the hell up. One thing is to be religious and the other is to make others be an idiot and selfish as you. I am religious in my way but I am also mature enough to understand that the world is changing and we love more the one next to us.

So I am still asking myself: how religion can change sexual orientation?

Goodbye 26, welcome 27!

If I would have to describe how it felt being 26, the first thing coming to my mind would be: roller-coaster. It’s been one of the most interesting years of my life.

I had the chance to re-discover myself, set new boundaries and learn new things. I lied, I’ve been lied to, I loved,cried, laughed as tomorrow will never come again. I lost friends,some of them forever. But the most important thing that I learned,was to pay more attention to myself and my needs.

26 was the age when enough was enough. When the dreams were more important than what would people say. Was the moment when I stopped toxic relationships and regain control over myself.I am not old, I am not young. The inner child is still alive, but the mature side is also there.

Had the opportunity to travel and discover new places. To push my limits and reconsider what really matters in life.In the end, I realize that no matter how bad you want something, if it’s not for you, it won’t be.

Today I’m 27. New year, new start, new opportunities and challenges. I hope it will be better than the last one. With less fake people. More love, travel, good books,friends and family. With more positive experiences and life lessons.

And with more posts on this blog 🙂 Yanny’s journey continues.

 

“My parents are living my life”

Hello again. Tonight, my best friend, asked me to write her story. It is a true life story about the way that her parents are trying to live her life. Unfortunately,she is not the first or the last one to go through this but she just wanted to share her story with you.

I will call her B. B is a 27 years old, great, loving person. She would move the mountains for the ones she loves and is always there for whoever needs her help. But she has manipulative, controlling parents. Especially her mother.

But let’s start with the beginning. This thing started in childhood, when what she was doing was never enough. She was always told that her colleagues are better and that she would never achieve what the others do, as she is lazy and stupid. Her mother was monitoring her all the time, the only time being left alone being when she was at her grandparents. This continued as a teenager, when she was considered a freak by her colleagues and left outside. She had to deal with weight problems and although told her mother to look for help, the only answer received was”they will love you the way you are”. She wasn’t allowed to use make-up when going to high-school or go outside with her friends, without receiving calls from her mom. Parties or club??No freaking way. B went into a heavy depression, thinking of taking her life several times. But always she found a way to fight the demons and move on. When she was 19, she decided to move abroad and study. This was the beginning of her own life. Or at least this is what she thought. Her parents became even more controlling and manipulative. Her mother didn’t let her work and paid for her studies and everything else. But B had to give an explanation for everything she did. If she was liking a guy and her mother didn’t, she was supposed to break up with him. And she always did what they wanted as she loved them and wanted to make them happy and proud of her.

She finished uni, got a job, been on her own money, but the manipulation didn’t stop. When she was coming on holidays, her parents were making her believe that what she was doing was wrong, all her friends were wrong and they knew better what suits B the best. She gave up on her job abroad because of them,left her friends and everyone there and came back to Romania last year. She moved to her parents place and the hell began again. Whenever in public or with friends, her mother was interfering and telling her what she says or does is not good. B fell in love with a guy she thought was the one..I have never seen her so in love. She was radiating happiness. Until one day when her father told her that she must cut the communication with that guy as he is not good enough for her… She was distraught….she tried to hide it from that guy but changed towards him until one day when he broke up with her. It’s been 3 months since then and she is still in depression and not able to move on. Her parents were happy of getting rid of that guy while she was dying inside:( . Due to the manipulation from childhood and teenager period, she couldn’t have sex with anyone. Her therapist said that this is a blockage due to her parents reaction.

I saw her today.She is at the end of her powers. She feels full of regrets and is looking to leave the country. And thinking of no coming back. She is afraid that if she stays in Romania, her parents may come whenever they want….and breaking her life again. She was crying when asked me to write this…:(

She wants a family and someone to love and feel loved as I have never seen in my life. But she is scared….what if the guy will leave her again?? what if she won’t be a good parent??

Why would you do this as a parent???? She is lost, she feels hopeless, worthless and empty. And her parents are not helping her at all ….but the opposite. They are accusing her that she did a university on their money and now she can’t find a suitable job.

I really wish her all the best and to be able to be happy. She deserves it. But we both want to find out your opinion too. Especially from those who’ve been through this type of situation.

Why are parents trying to live children’s life??? Destroying their lives just because they want them to be puppets??? What for?? Something that they didn’t have in their life?? Frustration? Because I don’t think this is a normal behavior. Even though she is the only child, her parents should understand she is mature enough to move on with her life and stop living her life.

 

Is the customer always right?

Since I was a little kid, my parents took me on holidays and we were staying in the hotels. I always loved the way the staff was welcoming us and taking care of us. The time passed and I have decided to study Hospitality and Tourism Management.

And I was finally able to do what I loved in my childhood: work in hotels.My first job? Reception trainee in a hotel in Mallorca as part of my course. But the fairytale wasn’t one anymore. I had to discover step by step what I am supposed to do and how to deal with people.

And the rude customers appeared too. No matter how much I was trying to help them, some were sooo stubborn/unrealistic that there was no way to be able to satisfy their needs. But in the end there were coming to better terms after a proper discussion. Or a free drink. That placement helped to understand and get to read the people. I am able to feel them from the first sentence now. It is impossible to miss a compo(British saying for compensation) guest.

I went to work afterwards in UK. The challenge of my life. I’ve heard the most absurd requests (I will make a post only about stupid requests) and met types of people that I never want to see again. If in Mallorca I didn’t feel in danger not even for a second, in UK I gave up after I realised that the “guest is always right and is even allowed to attack you. You have to treat him well”. That was. I’ve been offended many times by customers for their own mistakes but the worst part was when one of them attacked me for nothing. He was angry that his sandwich wasn’t properly made so he decided to come in reception and throw on me his plate. The manager on duty decided to interfere but only to offer him compensation. Not for his staff. I got to the point when I was feeling sooo stressed and panicked before work that it was unbearable.

The point is : I have been in both positions -customer and worker. But no matter how much we want to be spoiled by the hotel staff let’s not forget that they also have feelings. And bad days. And to be honest, I don’t think that the customer is always right. I met high-class customers who were absolutely lovely and when they were mistaken, they were having the balls to say it. And let’s say not so well behaved customers who were treating staff like shit. Up to the point of physical violence( one of my colleagues been through that). So what for??? Are you right for what??? I totally understand when you do have a real problem to ask for a solution or compensation. But when you always want free stuff or just to show what a jerk you are, no mate you are not right.

So let’s be nicer to each other and treat the way we want to be treated.

“Drugs destroyed my life”

I needed to take some time off from everything. The past month was a huge life lesson. A lesson that thought me how a single moment can destroy your life.

How it all started ? Like this. I had a childhood friend:very nice, well-behaved guy. He was able to move the mountains for his dreams. His family situation was never Ok, but he never stopped fighting for himself and his grandma who raised him.(his parents are divorced and he loved to stay more with his grandma due to a home situation).

Our roads separated when we moved to different countries. He was working in popular restaurants and had a dream to win a cooking contest. He did it. And that was the moment which changed his life. He won an important amount of money and was having a lot of plans.The last time I met him was 4 years ago after he won it. He told me about what he wants to do further and was very happy. But after one year, he moved back in Romania and entered an entourage which literally destroyed him. He changed completely towards everyone and forgot about his hometown friends. I tried to contact him several times, with no outcome… Little we or his family knew that in his entourage, drugs were an ordinary thing 😦

Last year, his grandma died. It was the “end” of his life and his career. During his funeral, he was on drugs, but no one knew. He attacked a beggar, but people thought it was due to his sorrow caused by the loss. His father took him home and he jumped on the window to escape. That night, he killed a woman. A stranger.He hit her with extreme aggressivity until she died… The last month was his trial. He received 10 years of prison. His last words when he said goodbye to us were”Drugs destroyed my life”

Guys, I had known and still know people dealing with drug addiction. I lost friends (took their lives) because of this. The reasons for using drugs? Mainly entourage.They don’t want to look stupid in front of their friends. Or family problems.

Please ask for help. Drugs are not healing, are destroying:dreams. lives, families, EVERYTHING. One single moment destroyed my friend’s life. Only one. He can’t remember how he hit her or how he fell asleep next to her. The only thing he remembers is that while he was drugged, he had the impression that demons are following him.

Drug addiction can be healed. In time and with specialist support, there is a way to give up. Just try. Don’t leave drugs to destroy your life too. If not for you, do for the people you love and for the dreams you have. And remember that the night is the darkest before the dawn. There is always hope.

City break in Bristol :) Part 1

sdrWhen I think of Bristol, I, immediately have the image of one of the nicest and interesting cities in the UK. This city has such a positive vibe and so many things to offer that it’s impossible to don’t love it.

It was one of those days when I felt the need to get out of Exeter. As I was having a week off, I have decided to go to Cardiff and Bristol. My colleagues told me a lot about their experiences in Bristol so I have decided to give it a chance and visit it.

Packed everything, bought my coach ticket and the holiday started. Did the booking for the accommodation while I was on the road so I was ready for a new adventure.

When I finally arrived, the first impression was awful. The coach station was in the refurbishment process and the weather was absolute nightmare. Pouring. As there were no taxis available,I started to walk up to the hotel. And step by step, admiring the view and getting soaked (as I never have an umbrella with me) , I started to like the city. Even on bad weather was lovely. I stayed at Ibis city center hotel where the guys were fantastic. They gave me so much info about the city and what to do. I checked into my room and took a look at the map provided. I checked what is to see nearby and I went for a walk. The Aquarium(DEFINITELY A MUST SEE) and We The Curious were right next to the hotel. After a short walk ,I arrived at the harbor, where you can find restaurants and pubs. They have a really good variety in terms of food and drinks.

After getting lost on the streets of Bristol, I finally managed to find the city center with its shopping centers but as it was getting late and most of them were closing , went back to for a walk by the harbor to make an idea about what I can visit the next 3 days.

How is to be a single female tourist in Bristol? What is to see and do? Is it safe and worth? Is Bath to be visited while on Bristol? Stay tuned and be part of Yanny’s Journey.