Expectations vs reality

Hello!! I hope you are all well and enjoying this time. As we have 5 days left this year, I wanted to share a lesson with you. How expectations create a toxic environment and affect our lives.

How many times in this life you didn’t expect someone to do something? It doesn’t matter if personally or professionally, but it is in our human nature to do so. What we don’t understand is that expectations are seriously affecting our mental health as most of them are not achievable. The worst part comes when you are in a relationship, and you expect so many things from your partner that you forget to differentiate imaginary from reality.

Just because you are kind to people, or show care and love, it doesn’t mean that they feel the same. Unfortunately, nowadays, people are nice to you as long as they can get what they want from you. After, they will treat you as you never existed in their lives. Stop believing that expecting something from someone will automatically become reality. People behave as they want, regardless of how you feel about it. However, in the long term run, you may suffer a lot. More than you can believe. When you stop expecting, you start realizing a person’s true colors. You want to be good and help? Go ahead. But don’t expect something in return. Some people have absolutely nothing to give(and I am not talking about financial stuff). Some know only to receive, never to give.

I learned this the hard way. I had expectations from people that I would have given me life for. Guess what? They turned up to be the worst people in my life. And people that I didn’t expect anything from, ended up being very important in my life. Do you want to expect something from someone? Then raise your expectations from yourself. Have more expectations from yourself as a person, professional, friend, everything. The biggest expectation that you should have in this life is to improve your life by believing more that you can do anything you want. Don’t expect changes or love or care or anything from others. Do it with yourself first. And you will see the difference. Love you all! 🙂

So this is Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!!! Our first pandemic Christmas. Who would have thought? I am used to writing happy and positive posts about Christmas, but as the times are tough and this year was pretty crazy (and not in a good way), today I feel the need to talk from my heart.

This Christmas is special. And it should be a moment for us to look within ourselves and see what needs to be changed or improved. Christmas is not only about presents but also about love, compassion, and care for each other. You may be miles away from your family, friends, loved ones. You may be single or married, happy, or in a bad state of mind. But one thing is for sure. You are not alone. For some, it may be a difficult time, especially with the pandemic. But this should pass too. And hopefully, we will be back to normal. But until then, take this Christmas to appreciate what you have. Be grateful for who you are. And if you are with your family at the moment, show them more love. Laugh, eat, drink, do whatever you want. Forget for a moment about the bad part of life. Take a deeper look at the right one. Send a message, give a call to someone you didn’t talk to for a long time. You never know how much this means for them.

And if you are alone, don’t despair. I know and completely understand how bad it feels especially during the winter holidays. But the things will get better. I promise. It always does.

This Christmas is a little different for me. Because it is for the first time when I am breaking the traditions and just have some time with my dog, my parents, and my closest relatives. But talking to my dearest people (not only family but friends too) made me realize that the magic of Christmas is about spirituality and getting closer to the ones you love. And although it sounds like a cliche, it is about becoming a better person:)

The story of an orange.

And nope, I am not crazy 🙂 Just wait for it. Today is a personal post, but it is a lesson that changed my personality.

I grew up in a family with strong values and traditions. But being the first baby in the family, everyone spoiled me. And it was good up to a point. I got used to receive what I wanted, and no matter what, everything was turning in my favor. And this made me an impossible child. A rude, selfish one. Until one day when my grandfather had enough and decided to give me a lesson. It was December 2001, and that year was awful. My grandfather died in January (my mom’s father) and I didn’t know how to cope with it. Everyone showed me so much love and care and satisfied all my needs that I lost control. I was 7 years old and that December was the first one without my father (who was abroad working) and my grandfather(who has been one of my favorite family members.

So, on Saint Nicholas day (on the night of 6th of December, we put our shoes and wait for sweets), I slept at my grandparents (father’s parents) place and waited for my presents. But guess what? I received only one ORANGE. And a letter. It said something like ” You must understand that love is not about how many or how expensive are things you receive. It is time for you to understand to be grateful for all the things you have and learn to share with others. You are loved and cared for. Happy holidays! “. I remember that I cried like a baby cause I was so disappointed. I got ready, went to the church with my grandparents, and there was a little girl. I remember like it was yesterday. A younger girl, poorly dressed, holding a dirty doll in her hand. And she asked for food. And as that day, everyone was giving food for the dead ones, my grandma had oranges and cookies and sweets with her too. So she asked me to give that girl a package. I swear that never in my life I saw someone being so happy for an orange. She ate it immediately with such happiness on her face.

I went home and looked at that orange that I received. And my grandpa told me:” As long as you have what to eat and someone who you can share with, you are blessed”. And since that year, every year I wait for my orange. I can receive anything, but an orange as a gift became a tradition.” Years later, I found out that my grandpa was the one who wrote the letter. And I loved him even more for that.

Be grateful for what you have. Someone may only dream about it. And if you have the chance to share it with anyone, do it. It may not change the world, but it makes you a better person and your soul a little happier :)Love you all!

It’s okay to not be okay

Hello everybody!! We wear everyday things like: “Don’t show your emotions, you will look weak.”, “You have to be stronger”, “Mental health is overrated.” Believe it or not, this affects us more than we may accept or understand. This year I started volunteering as a mental health listener for children and teens. What I have heard is unbelievable. Parents suppressing their own children’s emotions just for social stigma. Children being at the suicidal point for not being heard or understood while dealing with depression or anxiety. Where is this world going?

It is absolutely fine to don’t be OK. Life is not pink, full of unicorns in a perfect fluffy world. Nope. Life puts you down, gives you lessons, but it also lifts you. As an anxiety fighter myself, I know how it’s to be treated like weird when people don’t understand your feelings. I know how it’s to smile and be happy in front of others when inside my soul is screaming for help. Crying myself to sleep for nights without anyone supposing that something is wrong with me. Because for too long I thought that I have to be strong and don’t show emotions. Until I couldn’t anymore. And I ended up crying anytime, anywhere and feeling like I am worthless. Until one point, when I took myself to a soul inspection. I wrote down everything I was going through, and the worst part was that I had to solve my inner child’s problems. I am not done, as I still have bad days, but I learned that I am stronger than I thought and I am making progress day by day.

For anyone who sees this and is going through a hard time, you are not alone. You are loved and cared for. You can do anything, this is just a bad phase. Not the end. Show your emotions, your true feelings, ask for help if needed. You have me here. We are all in this together. Keep going, the best is yet to come. Love you all! 🙂

A promise made to myself

Hello beautiful people!! I hope you’re all good and enjoying Sunday. As I am still in my weekend mood, I was thinking of sharing with you something that not only changed my life but myself too…completely.

Two years ago, I was a very different person. Mentally, spiritually, in any way, you could imagine. I was the one there for everyone, at any time, without expecting anything in return. A type of person who was a people pleaser, who was leaving her worth being defined by others opinion. I was afraid of pursuing my dreams because failure would have been a disaster for my family. (not my parents, my family). My parents have always been my biggest support but as stupid as I was, I was never listening to their pieces of advice, always putting others above them. But as karma proved that it is either my best friend or my worst enemy, gave me the lesson of my life.

Before starting the blog, I was at the edge of my life. Due to a toxic decision and being influenced by people with “goodwill” that I thought was caring for me, I almost lost everything: parents, friends, even myself. The 6th of December was the night that started my positive movement. For the first time in my life, no one knew my plans, my hopes, my moves, anything. Except for my parents. And my dog:)

On the 25th of December 2018, I suffered the worst disappointment of my life. And that night, the old me died. And guess what? The people who influenced me were either accusing me or disappearing totally. The only people who were by my side were my parents and some people that I would never think of, which in the meantime became my best friends. That was the moment when I made a promise to myself. No matter how hard things will be, as long as I have myself, my parents, my dog, and true friends, I can move mountains. And I did it. In 2 years I learned and developed myself more than I did in 26. I am in the happiest place of my life, surrounded by people who care and love me. People who are sharing my values, dreams, and hopes. Who are there not only when I am good, but also when I struggle. And the most important thing, I found myself. I learned how to love myself and put my needs first. To stop letting anyone else’s opinion affecting me as long as it is not constructive.

Two years taught me two crucial things: that family is not always blood, and if you really want something, then the sky is the limit. You can do whatever you want. Just believe in yourself and the magic of new beginnings.

Wishing you all a great Sunday:)

Christmas madness mood: ON

Hello everybody!! Today I am in a blue mood, due to the weather. Since last night it kept pouring. So I was thinking that I should cheer myself a little by having a cup of coffee and writing a post about Christmas craziness, as there are 12 days left until Christmas Eve.

Since I know myself, I adored Christmas. If it would be for me, I would have Christmas every day. The vibe, the tree, carols, food, good times, everything gives me such a good mood. But what gets me in a bad mood is the time before Christmas. More specifically, usually from the beginning of the month until Christmas day. I don’t know about you, but in my family, these weeks we are like robots. Cleaning, shopping, cooking, last-minute stuff, and so on. I remember when I was a child, I was making fun of my parents and grandparents for going crazy around this time, but now I see it myself. And this year is even more special. Due to the pandemic, I can’t go and do proper Christmas shopping or visit my relatives as much I did before.

But believe it or not, the craziness in town is the same. How?? Everybody is bulk buying, angry as hell and with any vibes, excepting the Christmassy ones. It seems like this holiday became more a marketing strategy than an amazing holiday to celebrate with loved ones. We are losing the essence of it. And what makes me sad is that the children are losing that spirit. They stop believing in Santa from a very fragile age and lose all the magic of the holidays. I know that times change, but I feel that there are certain things we should try to keep.

Wishing you all a great day and keep being part of Yanny’s Journey. Something special is coming soon:)

2020 and its double standards

For the past days, I kept pushing myself away from writing this post. Why? Because it may trigger some people. But one of my best friends, my favorite chocolate guys (and don’t start with discrimination stuff, cause he loves being called like this) told me that I have to do this.

Anyway, today I will talk about the double standards and what happened with Coltescu a few days ago. For those of you who don’t know what I am talking about, during a football game, one of the referees, asked his colleague to interfere in a dispute he had with the second coach of one of the teams and while trying to explain to him who he was, he used the word BLACK. And the storm passed. Twitter, Facebook, IG, everything went on fire. “STOP THE RACISM”, “STUPID ROMANIANS”, “SEND THE ROMANIANS HOME” were some of the main titles of what you could read on social media. Thank heaven it didn’t last too much. Why? Because there are still educated people in the world, who know to think before the talk. And therefore, Coltescu ended up being defended by some big stars of football, celebrities, and people who know a little about Romania and got the overall image of what happened there.

Since the beginning of the game, the entire referee team was accused of being gypsies, without being. You can hear in the recordings that even the person who claimed the “racist attack” is insulting the referees before the dispute. ROMANIA IS NOT A GYPSIES COUNTRY. Stop confusing things. We do have gypsies but there is not a majority. When you tell a Romanian gypsy without being, is called discrimination. To understand this better, think about calling a black person the n-word. It feels the same.

Now back to the BLACK word.” Black” in Romanian is not discriminatory. It is not like the n work or “el negro” from Spanish. It has at least 20 meanings and I am not exaggerating but NONE can be used as discriminatory in this context. In Romania, if you want to offend a different color person you say “crow”. And believe me, I know what I am saying. When the BLM happened this year, everyone used the word black. Even Obama used it for his presidential campaign. Now you tell me, where is the racism? I have black friends who after this happened, felt offended for how things escalated. One of them was saying something like” If I am the only colored person in the room, and someone doesn’t know my name, how am I supposed to be called? Since the beginning of history, we have had races. It is normal and this is the beauty. We are different, but to stop using a word describing color and a race is BS. Neither every black is good nor every white.”

When Halep was offended at Roland- Garros, no one interfered. When Begu was called gypsy by a French, no one moved a finger. The same happened with some of our football teams. Nothing at all. But when a Romanian did a mistake, everyone got mental. Kind of huge double standards. Before offending, we should get some history and geography books and get some education. Because most of those discriminating Romanians don’t even know where the country is on the map. And those who know never had a bad word to say about the country.

One thing I know for sure: I have never seen so much hate as in 2020. This pandemic only managed to bring out the worst in us.

Love you all and have a fantastic weekend! 🙂

Nothing is guaranteed

Hello! I was talking to a friend today about the plans that he had this year: was supposed to get married, go abroad for his honeymoon, was nominated for a promotion at work. Seemed like he will have a great year ahead. What he didn’t know was that in reality, his life had other plans and will completely reset. Lost his job, his fiancee called off the wedding instead of postponing, and he had to take everything from 0.

We usually tend to make plans in advance. To schedule our lives for the next 3,5, even 10 years. But who guarantees us this time? Who has the certainty that life won’t play with us in a way that we will have to go back to level 1? How many times you didn’t tell yourself:” Oh, in 5 years I will have the home of my dreams” or ” I will be truly happy if I will have a great car soon?” or “I want to learn this, but I will postpone it for another time as I am not ready now?”

I, personally, wished this year to go to work in a hotel in Lapland. Did it happen? Nope. Due to this virus, I didn’t only have to give up on my hospitality career but also do courses to change the course of my life. If you would have asked me in June how I was, my answer would be: in love with a good guy and hoping for a lasting relationship. How am I now? Single and happy with my personal development.

You never know when it’s the last discussion, last kiss, or last night with someone. You can’t take anything for granted. Everything and everyone changes, including us. We have to keep the rhythm with life. Life doesn’t wait for us, and instead of regretting what we lost, just live in the moment and take as much as you can from it.

2 years of Yanny’s Journey :)

6 December 2018. It all started 2 years ago. I can’t believe how fast time passed. Two years ago, on this day, I was launching this blog with a post about childhood. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t even know if anyone will read it. And I remember that when I saw that I had the first visitor, I was over the moon.

This blog was my escape place. The place where I was able to share my feelings, my moods, and my life with my visitors. From Europe to Asia, Africa to America or Australia, each one of you became part of my journey. And I am extremely grateful for this. Thanks a lot for taking the time to read and react to my posts. It means a lot. It gives me the motivation to keep going and better myself.

The first 2 years represented only the beginning. The best is yet to come. We are together in this. Love you all and continue to be part of Yanny’s Journey. 🙂

Make it a December to remember

First of December…I can’t believe how fast this year passed. Winter, Christmas, and New Year. Since I was a child I love this month. It has a special vibe, something that makes you more hopeful and positive. A time of joy, presents, snow, parties… happy times.

This December is special. This year, December will be more powerful. Why? Because it is the end of a crazy year and the holidays will be like never before. Maybe this year, we will appreciate more the time spent with our loved ones and be more grateful that we are safe and sound. Every year, in my hometown ( a small one), the 1st of December was a holiday. The Christmas lights were on, a concert was organized and you could see happy people all around the town. Tonight, while I was outside with my dog for his evening walk, everything was so empty. Silence everywhere, only a few people rushing on the streets. Only the Christmas lights were showing that it’s the winter holiday season. This should be a wake-up call and stop taking everything for granted. Everything can change at any time and if we don’t appreciate what we have at the right moment, we may regret it later.

These holidays will be different. But this doesn’t mean that we can’t make it a December to remember…