Self-love is dangerous

Self-love is dangerous. Have you ever been to a supermarket and went to those stands where you can sample a product? Well, self-love is like tasting the finest chocolate and wanting to buy it immediately. What you don’t know is that in the end, you will become addicted to it. Both chocolate and self-love:)

When you choose yourself over others, you understand that a new chapter begins. No one says it’s easy. But the results are fantastic. When I first started to work on myself, I was at the edge of giving up every day. It was too painful and too difficult. No one told me that there will be people leaving my life, that I will stop doing things that I thought I had to do before or act a certain way. What no one tells you is that working on yourself and learning to love yourself will create waves for your mental health. One moment you feel like you can conquer the world, the next one you cry worse than a baby. Because your mind is used to the familiarity of the things you were previously doing and these big changes are like a reset to it.

You will eventually get to the point where you will set boundaries, choose more carefully your entourage and understand that you deserve the best. You will have a clearer image of who you are and what you want. A month and a half ago, I started the biggest work on myself. I have never been more disciplined, focused, and determined before. But scared at the same time. Until I found the pace. I started to journal daily, create a routine, and use positive affirmations, and meditate. This was the best decision ever. Because I realized my true potential, now I am more able to understand and deal with my emotions and truly love myself. I finally understood that I am worthy and enough, that is my life, my choices. I stopped asking people to stay, just kept the door open, and I appreciated more those who had 100 reasons to leave but found 101 reasons to stay.

The best gift you can do to yourself is love. Before expecting or loving anyone else, love yourself. You will discover a new you and a new world to explore. Just do it 🙂

Death is just around the corner

Hello everybody! I hope you are all safe and sound. Today’s post is a story about life and death and how can incompetency take innocent lives. I was born in a small city called Onesti. This city was always a quiet, peaceful city mainly known for the national and international stars like Nadia Comaneci who were born here.

However, 3 days ago, death attacked horribly. One of the cruelest attacks I have ever heard about in this city. 2 streets away from my parents’ home. For 5 hours, two handcuffed young workers begged for their lives, while the authorities were doing nothing. No one moved a finger to help them escape that monster. Nope. They just waited…God knows for what. In the end, that criminal took their lives. For a reason that had nothing to do with them. They were innocents. Just doing their job. Nothing else. He was claiming the flat that he lost 12 years ago and on that cursed day, they were there working. The news channels went mental with this. 3 days later, the city is still in shock. The atmosphere is painful. People are angry with the authorities and scared for their lives.

Life is unfair…and this should be a wake-up call for everyone. Death is just around the corner..waiting for the right moment to get its prize. The only thing guaranteed is just the actual moment. The authorities and police have shown too many times that they are clueless, heartless and their incompetency is above the sky. This was just the last experience. There are too many human-faced monsters among us. You don’t know who to trust anymore. This pandemic only managed to enrage us more and take the worst out of us.

Take care guys and enjoy every single moment of your life. Be grateful for the people you love and appreciate them more. Appreciate life more. You never know when the clock will stop ticking.

Pay attention who don’t clap when you win

Hello everybody!! I hope you are ok. As I finished the first month of the challenge with myself, I wanted to write about something that I started to see clearer during this month, and that is to pay attention to those “who don’t clap when you win”. Today is about friends.

In this life, we get to know a lot of people. Some are a lesson, some a season and some come to stay with you no matter what. Well, the last category should be kept at all costs.

Not everyone who says it’s your friend, it truly is. Some are friends as long as they can benefit from you. Or until you try to become a better person and they feel threatened by this. Then they show their true colors.

In my opinion, there are 3 types of friends that you may get to know:

  1. The so-called “friend” :That type of person who claims to be your friend but gets frustrated when you achieve something. The one whose problems are always more important than yours and for who you must be available but is never willing to help or support you when needed. The person who plays a great role in the front of you, but behind your back is a totally different one. It usually ends with them disappearing as soon as they find someone or something better
  2. Drama queen friend: If they can’t do something, no one else can either. The type of person who doesn’t have a dream, aspirations, anything, but who thinks that is “allowed” to control everyone’s life. If they are miserable, you must be too. They constantly need assurance and attention from you and get jealous or make a crisis as soon as they don’t receive it. Tbh, this is the most toxic type of friend, as there are 2 choices: they either make you be like them, or you finally realize how toxic they are and for your own sake, leave them.
  3. A lifetime friend: Now this is the best type. Is that friend that you grow up with. You learn from, share ideas and aspirations, develop a healthy friendship based on mutual respect and support. Although you may not communicate daily, you know that they are there through thick and thin. Is that person who makes your life better. And happier.

No one said that it’s easy to create and maintain a good friendship. And sometimes you may fail, but remember something. The easiest way to see the real face of somebody is either when you are down or when you achieve something big. Someone who can’t be there for you when you struggle or truly be happy when you succeed, can’t be called a friend. Have a great day, everybody! 🙂

5 ways to tame your brain

Hello, lovely people!! I hope you are all OK! Day 22 of my challenge, another lesson to share with you.

At different stages in our lives, we want different things: a good job, a great car/house, someone to love us, and so on. Almost always we try to create a perfect picture of how our life has to be. This is human nature. But when we face the reality and see that things are not how we want, the first reaction is to give up and think that we are not good enough. And the mind starts its “terrible dance” again and takes us to the dark place of feeling helpless and unworthy. What we don’t know is that the mind itself is either our greatest enemy or biggest friend. How many times you didn’t have a special event or great job opportunity that you gave up just because you were telling yourself that you can’t do it?

Throughout the years, studies have shown that one of the most important factors for low self-esteem and lack of confidence is given by the brain. That little voice inside you killed more dreams than anything else. And it continues to play its games until you learn how to enter the game too. How? It is easy but it takes time and discipline. Today I will talk about 5 ways that in my case showed great results:

1) Meditate!! I can’t emphasize this enough. As crazy as it may look, meditation has been used for ages to improve your brain activity and calm it when things are getting too tough. It is also amazing for breathing and it boosts your mood.

2) Reading: Read as much as you can. Everything you want. Books are called in some cultures the food of the brain and soul. If you suffer from fears, phobias, or anything related to this, I suggest you read ‘ Psychology of Fear” by Christophe Andre. It is an amazing book.

3) Affirmations: Create a positive environment for your brain by using positive affirmations; daily. I am practicing this in the morning and when I go to sleep. I have my personal “ritual” of positive affirmations and believe me. it shows results.

4)Understand yourself and your brain: it is Ok to not be Ok, but why are you feeling a certain way? What beliefs affect you? Remember that you make your beliefs and those beliefs make you

5) Bring on the unfamiliar: there are times when we are scared of certain activities or experiences just because our brain is not familiar with them and the first response is being scared. Try at least 2 a week to do something different: a new activity, new food, new place. Do something that you want but forget about fear for a moment. Please be aware that I am not talking about something that can put in danger your life. Nope, something that you didn’t think you always wanted but you didn’t think you were capable of.

Use these techniques and see how your life will improve. It is all about perspective.

A challenge to change

Hello! My last post was a kind of a wake-up call. Something was completely wrong. So a call to action was required. For 30 days I challenge myself to change. I was on a webinar with Michael Beckwith a while ago and he said something like: ” your biggest enemy is the control. The moment that you understand that the only thing you can control is yourself, then your life will improve.”.

With or without realizing it, every day we are trying to gain control over things, people, events, anything. Well, guess what. This is just a fake assumption. I had a period when I was a control freak. You can’t imagine how much I was fighting to control every single little thing of my life until, in the end, I failed. And then I understood that I have to surrender and give it up. Because, in reality, you can’t control anything more than your mind and body. My last post was somehow trying to show that when you try to control/influence someone’s life, the only outcome you can get is losing that person or causing huge damage for nothing. For example, I want that person back, but this doesn’t mean that I can make him come or decide on his feelings.

This challenge is just the beginning. The warming. But for 30 days, I will put myself first and start to work on every aspect of my life, starting with the most important: mental health and wellbeing. If 2020 was the year of mental transformation, 2021 is the year of personal development. So bring it on!

“My childhood is a nightmare”

Hello!! I hope you are all well and safe. Since I was a teenager I volunteered for children from poor families. But since the pandemic started, I choose to extend it to children from normal families and teenagers who need advice or just someone who listens to them.

And there is a little boy, very well behaved but who always seems sad and uncomfortable. And before the holidays, I asked him to write a letter about how he feels about being a 9 years old child. And what he wrote left me speechless. From phrases like:” I just want a normal childhood cause mine is a nightmare”, to “my parents don’t let me play because they think my education is more important” or ” when my friends are going on trips or spending fun time together, I have to go to my piano and dance courses, which I hate”. And one of the things that shocked me the most was:” I truly want a pet, but my parents won’t even let me touch an animal, because they think it is a hazard for my health and safety”. Really?

Can someone please explain to me when society changed so much? I am 28, but I still can’t keep up with these changes. Like since when tablets, phones, and all the personal development courses replaced the actual childhood? My little cousin is only four years old and he is only interested in his tablet. Ask him to play like a normal child, and he gets lost. He is in his virtual world. What about that old childhood with games, friendships, and stuff? Since when it is normal to be scared of a pet instead of loving it just because your parents claim it is a health and safety hazard?

Let the children discover, explore, live their childhood. I understand that times changed, but we were children too. I was allowed to stay and play as long as I kept in mind that education was a priority. I was raised with animals (all type of animals), just because my parents and grandparents thought that it was important to develop my skills in any situation. I have bruises, scars, and memories for a lifetime. And friends from my childhood too. But I don’t regret a second, as I would do it all over again. Listen more to your kids’ dreams and necessities. Their childhood is not coming back. And they will grow up with frustrations and regrets for the lost time.

Have a fantastic Tuesday 🙂

Top 5 lessons of 2020

Hellooo! As the year is over, I was thinking of pointing out the top 5 lessons of 2020 and how this year pushed our limits, broke the wall, and obliged us to change. So let’s start:

  1. You can do anything you want: How many times weren’t you unsure about doing a certain thing or what will people think about it? Well, DO IT. It’s your life, not theirs. Learn, read, do a course, develop yourself. Anything that can help you improve your life and you as a person. Stop telling people about your dreams, work for them, and show the results afterwards. 
  2. Life changes in a second: Life doesn’t wait for us to decide if we are ready to do something or not. Sometimes it forces us to do so. How? Who knows? For example, I always wanted to work in hotels. And I did until the pandemic when everything closed. I am sure that things for hotels will not be back to normal soon, so I had to change the direction of my career. I learned about subjects that I never thought of as a possible money maker. From a duty manager in hotels before the pandemic, I ended up being a writer and content creator. And I am still learning to increase my chances in this new domain. So don’t take anything for granted
  3. Put yourself first: Who you truly are? What are your dreams? What do you want from life? Stop seeking validation and have expectations from others. Look in the mirror and see who you are not who others think you are. Stop putting yourself last and others first. Show yourself more love and care and you will see the difference.
  4. People always show their true colors: Even if you want or not. Some people will appear in your life for a reason, a season or to be by your side no matter what. Although the last category is extremely rare nowadays, they do exist. But the first category is the worst: are those people who turn up in your life for getting what they can from you and afterward disappear. The type of people who have absolutely nothing to give, only to receive. If someone wants to leave your life, open the door. Don’t force/beg anyone to stay. Who is supposed to stay will do without you asking for it. Last year I was thanking God for bringing in my life people that I thought were the best for me , while in reality, they were worse than enemies. So pay attention to who are you calling lovers, friends, family, and so on. Not always they are who you think.
  5. Be grateful, love, and live the moment: Be grateful for who you are and what you have. Love as much as you can, show love to people who need it the most. Be nicer and help whenever you can. You never know what the person next to you is going through. Live the moment: stop waiting for tomorrow, a week, month, or year to be happy. Happiness comes from inside, not outside. If you are not happy with yourself, you won’t be able to make or be happy with anyone else.

Happy Sunday everybody!! 🙂

Goodbye 2020

Happy New Year!! I hope you are all well and enjoying the first days of 2021. 2020 is finally over. A year like no other, that seemed more like a tornado, than a normal year. One thing is for sure: it passed fast and changed everything in its way.

It was a year that made us reset some of our beliefs and habits and created a new version of ourselves. In my opinion, a new era began. 2020 wasn’t like an ordinary year. It brought a pandemic that somehow created new normality. What we knew before the pandemic, doesn’t seem to exist anymore. People evolved this year. Exactly like in a game, 2020 was just the warming level. What comes next, is unsure. No one knows. 2020 is definitely a year to remember, but not revive.

However, on the night of 2021, I saw after a long time people happy. It was like they were freeing from something. Celebrating, laughing, dancing. Hoping for a better year. I wish each one of you that 2021 will bring the best to you. To a year full of love, happiness, compassion, hope, and positive changes. To 2021 that can be remembered in a good way and not another year that we can’t wait for it to be over. Love you all!

Expectations vs reality

Hello!! I hope you are all well and enjoying this time. As we have 5 days left this year, I wanted to share a lesson with you. How expectations create a toxic environment and affect our lives.

How many times in this life you didn’t expect someone to do something? It doesn’t matter if personally or professionally, but it is in our human nature to do so. What we don’t understand is that expectations are seriously affecting our mental health as most of them are not achievable. The worst part comes when you are in a relationship, and you expect so many things from your partner that you forget to differentiate imaginary from reality.

Just because you are kind to people, or show care and love, it doesn’t mean that they feel the same. Unfortunately, nowadays, people are nice to you as long as they can get what they want from you. After, they will treat you as you never existed in their lives. Stop believing that expecting something from someone will automatically become reality. People behave as they want, regardless of how you feel about it. However, in the long term run, you may suffer a lot. More than you can believe. When you stop expecting, you start realizing a person’s true colors. You want to be good and help? Go ahead. But don’t expect something in return. Some people have absolutely nothing to give(and I am not talking about financial stuff). Some know only to receive, never to give.

I learned this the hard way. I had expectations from people that I would have given me life for. Guess what? They turned up to be the worst people in my life. And people that I didn’t expect anything from, ended up being very important in my life. Do you want to expect something from someone? Then raise your expectations from yourself. Have more expectations from yourself as a person, professional, friend, everything. The biggest expectation that you should have in this life is to improve your life by believing more that you can do anything you want. Don’t expect changes or love or care or anything from others. Do it with yourself first. And you will see the difference. Love you all! 🙂

So this is Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!!! Our first pandemic Christmas. Who would have thought? I am used to writing happy and positive posts about Christmas, but as the times are tough and this year was pretty crazy (and not in a good way), today I feel the need to talk from my heart.

This Christmas is special. And it should be a moment for us to look within ourselves and see what needs to be changed or improved. Christmas is not only about presents but also about love, compassion, and care for each other. You may be miles away from your family, friends, loved ones. You may be single or married, happy, or in a bad state of mind. But one thing is for sure. You are not alone. For some, it may be a difficult time, especially with the pandemic. But this should pass too. And hopefully, we will be back to normal. But until then, take this Christmas to appreciate what you have. Be grateful for who you are. And if you are with your family at the moment, show them more love. Laugh, eat, drink, do whatever you want. Forget for a moment about the bad part of life. Take a deeper look at the right one. Send a message, give a call to someone you didn’t talk to for a long time. You never know how much this means for them.

And if you are alone, don’t despair. I know and completely understand how bad it feels especially during the winter holidays. But the things will get better. I promise. It always does.

This Christmas is a little different for me. Because it is for the first time when I am breaking the traditions and just have some time with my dog, my parents, and my closest relatives. But talking to my dearest people (not only family but friends too) made me realize that the magic of Christmas is about spirituality and getting closer to the ones you love. And although it sounds like a cliche, it is about becoming a better person:)