“If you focus on yourself,your ex will be back”

It is the title of a magazine that I saw today. I am sure that you know this statement very well, especially if you have been through a bad heartbreak. Everyone says the same: “Oh, do yourself, and when they will see you glowing, they will be back.” Really? It is so easy to say, but so hard to do it.
Ok, fair enough, you pay more attention to you, go shopping, change your appearance, but mentally? When mentally you are out of order, how can you focus on yourself? Have you ever appeared strong and acted like you moved on in front of your friends and family, but while you were alone, you were crying yourself to sleep? Ever felt like one moment you weren’t good enough for that person and the next one you would move mountains for them to come back? How can you focus on yourself, when you finally feel like you are healing, and it’s enough to hear a song or have a flashback, and you are into pieces again? Everyone thinks that if you appear happy, you moved on. Nope, some just learned how to hide the pain very well.

Let me tell you something that may be disturbing to you. That title is a huge BS. Why? Because when you focus on yourself and healing, you won’t need your ex back. You will understand that you deserve the best. And your ex is not. Your ex is just a lesson and a part of your PAST. You will accept that having your ex back is like reading the same book but expecting the end to be different.

If you want to focus on yourself, do it for your own good. Not for anyone else. No one truly knows what battles you are having inside or how hard it is to move on when the pain is excruciating. And remember one thing: someone who truly cares and loves you would never let anything or anyone to affect your relationship.

A letter to my ex

Dear Ex,

I would like to start this letter by thanking you.For everything. We had an amazing time, but sometimes life has different plans for us. Maybe it is better like this.

I fought with everything I had to keep the relationship alive. Until one day…when I realised you were lying me big time. And then I stopped caring.The only outcome of this was the end of the relationship. Which eventually happened. And you were sure that going back to your ex will help you forget of me.

I stopped contacting you and I was sure that you will come back. You did. You started to contact me in any way you could even though you were with her. Nothing changed for me, I was still missing you. The old you. Not the one that broke up with me.

You left her too, as you weren’t happy . Found another one, with a child , who you believed will help you forget of me and make you happy.She was posting every single little thing you were doing on Facebook….. trying to mark her territory. But this didn’t make you stop thinking of me. As you continued stalking me on social media and liking every single post.

And then, on your relationship anniversary, you sent me a text. The last lie that I took from you. And then I realised that you will never change. You continue to be a person who doesn’t respect the woman next to him. Who doesn’t care how much your partner is suffering, as long as you are happy.

Learn that for a relationship it takes 2. One side love is not enough. I wish you all the best.To be happy and have the family you wanted. But do not forget one thing :Karma is a b***h. I have finally moved on and do not care about us anymore. I don’t tremble and smile when I see a like from you. Life goes on. No contact rule is on.

But I really hope you will get more mature at your 33 and treat the people the right way.And start to listen more. Life is not only about yourself. Is about the people you care too.

Now it’s time to say goodbye. What’s next? For you, to sleep with someone while thinking of others. For me following my dreams and find a new one. Maybe the next one will be the right one. For us, it is the end of the road.

Best Regards,

An ex who loved you more than you will ever know.