Why do we play with feelings?

Yesterday I was with some friends celebrating a name anniversary.And we started to talk about relationships. One of the girls had a similar experience, with the difference that her guy never ever try to maintain contact with her. My ex called me first thing at midnight on New Year’s night. Acting like nothing happened. He continued to check all my Whatsapp statuses and liking everything I post on social media. Furthermore, he was one of the first people to contact me when he found out about the death of my friend.

What is it going on with him? Dumping me for his ex but being only with his friends on New Year’s party and sending me messages? I tried to answer only basic things but I wanted to ask him soo many things. It’s been more than 2 weeks but I still miss him. However,I chose to continue with no-contact strategy.

Why do we prefer to play with other’s feelings? Due to confusion? Preferring someone that we already know but running after others? Is it helping our ego to know that there are more people wanting us? In this case, he definitely doesn’t know what he wants. Or maybe he does but he is playing. It’s really stupid doing this especially to people that are really nice and don’t deserve this at all. My grandfather told me when I was a kid that the most important in a relationship is to treat your partner as you want to be treated. Love and give. Don’t expect the moon from him but from your part give everything.

But what happens when you give everything and not receive the same? Is it enough for a person to love and care for 2? Is it fair for someone to don’t receive everything from his/her partner just because they are a couple?

We all deserve to love and be loved. To be cared for and appreciated. I have learned that I am just losing my time waiting for someone who will never give me 100%. There are 7+ billion people in this world. Our soul-mate is definitely somewhere. Be patient and hope. And love those who really matter.

mahatmagandhi1

A “love” gone like a wave.

“Hey! How did you find me?”. This is how the first text from him sounded. Did it ever happen to you to be at the right time in the right place? I don’t know what was: luck, destiny or just something it was supposed to happen. But I found him. After I gave up on my job, I have decided to come back to my country and take my parents on a holiday. I just needed to spend some time with them. And we went to places where we’ve never been before. We were exhausted after almost an entire day of driving and decided to find asap a place to sleep and eat. And we went to the place where I met him. He came with his relatives after we checked-in. The moment I saw him I had the feeling I have known him for a long time. We shared the same house for 3 days and talked just basic things.  We continued our journey but I couldn’t stop thinking of him. And one morning, when I was checking FB, I saw him on friends suggestions!!! I was sooo happy but at the same time confused if I should add him or not. I did it in the end. And then it all started.

After that first text, we continued to talk for hours. Everyday. He started to tell me about his life , family and work. I was falling asleep and woke up daily with texts from him. We got to the point when he told me he adores me. And started to make plans,even though between us there was a distance of almost 800 km. He wanted to come for Christmas and see me and arrange our first holiday for February. I’ve been honest with him from the beginning and explained that my dream is to go back abroad and further develop my career in the hospitality industry. He was Ok with it and even said that we can go together if everything goes fine between us. I started to have feelings for him and I was sure that he had feelings for me too.

Unfortunately, his mother had a health problem and we had to give up on our Christmas plans. And then he started to change. He became colder, more stressed, busier but he kept texting/calling me anytime he could. I was next to him and comforted him as mucj as possible.Until one day. Last Friday, I have received his morning text and by midday when he called me, I felt something was wrong. He tried to assure me he is fine but I know his voice when he is not. Eventually, we talked on Monday and told me he didn’t contact me anymore because he was busy and angry but nothing related to me. Then he disappeared again. And this time for good. He keeps checking everything I post on Whatsapp but that’s it. Totally ghosted.

I’m still asking myself if anything he said was true?Why he didn’t have the balls to be honest ? I’ve sent him a text and he quickly answered but nothing else. It hurts but at the same time irritates me his attitude. In the end I suppose it’s just another life lesson and the best thing I can do is move on. But I still miss the conversations with him.