It’s okay to not be okay

Hello everybody!! We wear everyday things like: “Don’t show your emotions, you will look weak.”, “You have to be stronger”, “Mental health is overrated.” Believe it or not, this affects us more than we may accept or understand. This year I started volunteering as a mental health listener for children and teens. What I have heard is unbelievable. Parents suppressing their own children’s emotions just for social stigma. Children being at the suicidal point for not being heard or understood while dealing with depression or anxiety. Where is this world going?

It is absolutely fine to don’t be OK. Life is not pink, full of unicorns in a perfect fluffy world. Nope. Life puts you down, gives you lessons, but it also lifts you. As an anxiety fighter myself, I know how it’s to be treated like weird when people don’t understand your feelings. I know how it’s to smile and be happy in front of others when inside my soul is screaming for help. Crying myself to sleep for nights without anyone supposing that something is wrong with me. Because for too long I thought that I have to be strong and don’t show emotions. Until I couldn’t anymore. And I ended up crying anytime, anywhere and feeling like I am worthless. Until one point, when I took myself to a soul inspection. I wrote down everything I was going through, and the worst part was that I had to solve my inner child’s problems. I am not done, as I still have bad days, but I learned that I am stronger than I thought and I am making progress day by day.

For anyone who sees this and is going through a hard time, you are not alone. You are loved and cared for. You can do anything, this is just a bad phase. Not the end. Show your emotions, your true feelings, ask for help if needed. You have me here. We are all in this together. Keep going, the best is yet to come. Love you all! 🙂

Why do we play with feelings?

Yesterday I was with some friends celebrating a name anniversary.And we started to talk about relationships. One of the girls had a similar experience, with the difference that her guy never ever try to maintain contact with her. My ex called me first thing at midnight on New Year’s night. Acting like nothing happened. He continued to check all my Whatsapp statuses and liking everything I post on social media. Furthermore, he was one of the first people to contact me when he found out about the death of my friend.

What is it going on with him? Dumping me for his ex but being only with his friends on New Year’s party and sending me messages? I tried to answer only basic things but I wanted to ask him soo many things. It’s been more than 2 weeks but I still miss him. However,I chose to continue with no-contact strategy.

Why do we prefer to play with other’s feelings? Due to confusion? Preferring someone that we already know but running after others? Is it helping our ego to know that there are more people wanting us? In this case, he definitely doesn’t know what he wants. Or maybe he does but he is playing. It’s really stupid doing this especially to people that are really nice and don’t deserve this at all. My grandfather told me when I was a kid that the most important in a relationship is to treat your partner as you want to be treated. Love and give. Don’t expect the moon from him but from your part give everything.

But what happens when you give everything and not receive the same? Is it enough for a person to love and care for 2? Is it fair for someone to don’t receive everything from his/her partner just because they are a couple?

We all deserve to love and be loved. To be cared for and appreciated. I have learned that I am just losing my time waiting for someone who will never give me 100%. There are 7+ billion people in this world. Our soul-mate is definitely somewhere. Be patient and hope. And love those who really matter.