It’s the first day of the rest of your life.

Today is the day when I give up on all the negativity in my life. And leave behind all the toxic people, drama, stupid games or negative thoughts which retained me be from fighting for my dreams. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Even though we don’t realize or don’t want to accept it, we do have toxic people around us. You can see them everywhere: family, friends, work. But what is most important is how you deal with them.

In my opinion, there are 3 types of toxic people:

-Narcissist: Imagine that you are dating a guy who tells you he is the best, does this and that, possess things that he doesn’t and is the perfect definition of arrogance. He wants everyone to admire him, yet he doesn’t care at all about others feeling. Is a selfish and cold person who loves to blame others for his problems. EVERY TIME.

-Mr. Know it All: Imagine being with a guy who tells you what to listen, what friends to have, what to watch and how to talk…..Is the intellectual type who believes he is the best and knows everything that suits everyone.Is the one who has a solution for everything, concerning him or not.

-Drama Queens: My last ex is exactly this type. And I think is the most toxic type. Imagine dating with a guy who always has a drama.ALWAYS.And when you try to change the topic and be more positive, the call you heartless. Throughout my relationship with him, I gave up on so many people and chances just because he made me feel so worthless. I got to the point when I was feeling his bad energy and almost be caught in his drama. And then I realized something was wrong.I broke up with him yesterday. I couldn’t carry on anymore. His reaction? He started to play the victim role and cursed and offended me big time. But at least it’s over. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. This was the last drop.

It is time to take back my life and my dreams and move on. These toxic people made me understand that I have myself. And this is the most important. From my experience, I am telling all of you who are going through the same things: Don’t stay in a toxic relationship. RUN as far as possible. Don’t let anyone put you down. You deserve better things and people who are really able to love you. And no matter what, keep fighting for your dreams. Let today be the first day of the rest of your life.

Depression. The silent criminal.

Today I am finally able to write and say the truth. The past 4 months had been hell. I really hope it is over now. Every month I had either bad news or lost someone. The last one? The guy that I was talking about in my gay post. He died last week… in a car accident. That was the last drop.

For the past 4 months, I had to play the role of a girl who smiled and be nice to others, but the demons inside me were slowing but surely,taking control of myself. It was hard to wake up and had insomnia, either didn’t want to eat or eat like crazy. Gave up on going outside and find pleasure in things that one day was making me happy. I isolated myself and the only relief I had was crying. I got almost to the point of being aggressive with my parents, told them that I hate them and don’t want them in my life anymore. Depression was taking over me.

When I started to understand what was going on, I slowly began to ask for help. One of my friends is a therapist and he immediately understood that something was wrong with me. He told me that I have to fight with myself. as depression is not curing itself. My answer? “You’re wrong. It can’t happen to me”. And yet ,it did. And that was the moment when I realised that I have some amazing people next to me. Even though they were in other cities or countries, they helped me to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is still hope. I learned to love myself again. And the biggest lesson of all was that if I don’t love myself, no one will do. Some of the people that I thought were my friends disappeared, but instead, people who I have never thought I will be friends with, prove themselves to be true friends.

I am still fighting, but I am getting there. Step by step, I am becoming a better person. The most frightening part is over. No more black thoughts, no more isolation. I went back to exercise and job hunting. I started to post on social media and went out with friends. Went for walks by myself. And read. A lot. This was really helpful.

What I am trying to say with this post is that depression can happen to anyone of us. Regardless of religion, race, color, nationality. And then is the moment when you have to choose what’s next. The end of the road or asking for help. The biggest advice I would give up is to don’t isolate from others. And don’t think you can cure it by yourself without any help.

Depression is not only affecting me or you. Is affecting millions of people worldwide. Some of them are ashamed to recognize it as they may be treated as mentally ill. When it comes to your life, don’t give a shit about what others have to tell you. Depression if not treated or at least dealt with, is like a silent criminal who is taking the life out of you.

Never lose hope. There is always light…a door….an escape. Fight with yourself and don’t give up. Tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning. And never forget that the people who truly love you will be there no matter what.

And don’t forget something: you are love and deserve the best.

How being bullied can completely change your life. Is suicide a solution? (part 1 of 2)

Hi. This is a true story of a girl . Let’s call her S. She was one of many in this world who was bullied. Who had to fight with everything she had and don’t give up. According to the official figures, at least 50% of children are being bullied at least once per month. And it keeps increasing…

The first part of this post will show her story and how everything started. How she ended up being depressed and thinking of the worst. The next post will be about how she fought against the bullies and how asking for help at the right moment can save your life.

It all started at the beginning of the high school. A new phase of life, new colleagues, new chapter. Little she knew it was the start of the worst nightmare. The first few months went well , getting used to the new teachers and courses , trying to make friends and understand how the high school system worked. She had one of the most amazing tutors someone can ask for who kept the class as a family. Until one day…. when the tutor came to say she got pregnant and she had to leave them. The new one came and everything was lost. She started to make differences between them and didn’t know how to solve conflicts. It was unbelievable how the class was changing and becoming more aggressive. S. was having a problem. She was fat. Not because she was eating like a pig but due to some health problems. The time was passing by and the boys started to bully her really bad, One of the guys posted a picture of a cow online and tagged her. That thing destroyed S. She was only 15 when this happened. 😦 She decided to speak to her colleagues and explain the situation but it got even worse. Name calling, teasing, spreading rumors and offending by all means. This is what S. had to deal with. Because she was one of the smartest girls in the class, her colleagues were asking  for help. So she thought that by giving the homework and helping them, will stop the bullying and make them being more friendly. Nope. It didn’t work.

She started to  refuse to go to the sports lessons to don’t hear rude comments anymore, didn’t want to go out with her friends and do the things she enjoyed.S was feeling worthless, ugly, ashamed…she saw herself as a monster. After trying to speak to her tutor and ask for a solution,S. realised that no one will move a finger for her. Her parents were trying to find out what was going on with her, but the only thing they were receiving was a closed door. And silence. For 3 years, this nightmare continued. Being an introvert teenager with no way to escape from the high school situation took her to the point when she thought about suicide.

This was the end… S. felt too ashamed to ask for help or explain the situation to her parents or trust people anymore. Was suicide the only solution to stop the bullying? She loved her family and had dreams…but this nightmare was affecting everything. Until one day.(part 2 soon)

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