life lessons – Yanny's Journey

“Stay a little longer”

Today I will talk about one of the saddest parts of my life. And I hope that this will help someone who is going/went through the same thing.

I had the blessing to have the most amazing grandparents you can ever think. That type of elders like in the fairytales we grew up with: caring, loving, supportive, and the best cookers.

I lost my first grandpa when I was 8. Before going to school, my grandma called and said that he is gone. Although it hurt a lot, I was too little to understand the real deal. I only knew that he became my angel. The second one taught me the most important lesson of my life and the saddest at the same time. I was 20, studying abroad. It was time to go back to uni, and I went to say goodbye to them. I was coming back home in less than a month, so I didn’t stay too long then. For the first time in my life, my grandpa was begging me to stay a little more. Few more minutes. I was in such a rush that I didn’t couldn’t but promised him that I will be back soon and then I will stay longer for sure. And next time I did stay longer. At the cemetery. He died 2 weeks after I went back to uni. I wasn’t able to attend his funeral and didn’t have the chance to say a proper goodbye.
For 8 years I hated myself more than you can ever imagine. For being in a rush, for not staying with him longer, for not saying goodbye, for everything. I went through an unbelievable mental pain. I ended up with depression and panic attacks. But eventually, I started to heal and move on.

My grandma (his wife) is 84. And today, after years of being apart, her sons and her nephews gathered together around a big table, full of laughs and stories and memories and great food. At one point, she acted like she was saying goodbye to us. Not directly, but choosing the right words. I felt that completely. And she asked just for one thing: to stay a little longer. And this time, I stayed. We stayed for 7 hours (don’t know when the time passed). And we will meet again tomorrow. If she feels like this may the end for her, I want to make sure that she is loved and cared for.

We don’t know what life has in store for us. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone. So please do me a favor, guys. Next time you visit your elders, stay a little longer, and show them more love. Call them more often. You never know when it is the end. I would give years of my life for 5 more minutes with my grandfathers. But I can’t and it hurts. I took them for granted, so please don’t do the same mistake.

P.s. Love you lots, my angels…I wish you could’ve just stayed a little longer 😦

“If you focus on yourself,your ex will be back”

It is the title of a magazine that I saw today. I am sure that you know this statement very well, especially if you have been through a bad heartbreak. Everyone says the same: “Oh, do yourself, and when they will see you glowing, they will be back.” Really? It is so easy to say, but so hard to do it.
Ok, fair enough, you pay more attention to you, go shopping, change your appearance, but mentally? When mentally you are out of order, how can you focus on yourself? Have you ever appeared strong and acted like you moved on in front of your friends and family, but while you were alone, you were crying yourself to sleep? Ever felt like one moment you weren’t good enough for that person and the next one you would move mountains for them to come back? How can you focus on yourself, when you finally feel like you are healing, and it’s enough to hear a song or have a flashback, and you are into pieces again? Everyone thinks that if you appear happy, you moved on. Nope, some just learned how to hide the pain very well.

Let me tell you something that may be disturbing to you. That title is a huge BS. Why? Because when you focus on yourself and healing, you won’t need your ex back. You will understand that you deserve the best. And your ex is not. Your ex is just a lesson and a part of your PAST. You will accept that having your ex back is like reading the same book but expecting the end to be different.

If you want to focus on yourself, do it for your own good. Not for anyone else. No one truly knows what battles you are having inside or how hard it is to move on when the pain is excruciating. And remember one thing: someone who truly cares and loves you would never let anything or anyone to affect your relationship.

My life is not your pit stop.

Today is one of those blue days when you feel like a robot, doing what you have to do but feeling empty. The perfect setup for the memories to resurface.The sad ones, not the good ones. It is a day when you either go back in time and be with that specific person or wish to have a superpower to erase him from your mind.

Maybe schools should have a special course about human emotions and feelings. Perhaps like this, people will understand that these are not toys but things that could damage a person for a long time, sometimes forever. You’re not a better person or more interesting if you play with someone…quite the opposite. It only shows your lack of empathy, education, self-esteem, and mental stability. I am sick of people coming into others’ life just for fun…or for not feeling lonely. Mate, my life is not your pit stop. If you come into my life, stay. Or do not come at all. It is that easy. Don’t make me fall for you when you have someone else or are unsure about your feelings for me. Tell me straight what you want, games are for kids, we are adults.

Dating nowadays is an absolute joke. Trusting people becomes an impossible mission, and loyalty, well, I think that loyalty slowly but surely only becomes a word in the dictionary, nothing else. You never know what a person is going through, which demons she/he has to battle. So don’t make it worse. Due to one like you, she/he may lose an amazing person because they will think that everyone is like you, so what is the point of trying again? Sort out yourself first. If you aren’t happy with yourself, no one will ever make you. Seeking validation or love from others, but having nothing to give in return, will only show how little and pathetic you are as a human. And remember that what goes around always, but always come around. Good luck with that.

There is a saying: “Use objects, not people. Love people, not objects”. We should keep this in mind.

Online dating:biggest scam or best lesson?

Hello everybody! Today I want to talk about a topic that somehow affected my life lately. And I am sure I am not the only one.
Online dating started to gain more popularity, especially now, with this pandemic. People find it easier to get an idea of their possible partners on social media before meeting in person, which being honest, I find it pretty useful. However, the story changes when the reality has nothing to do with the “perfect picture/life shown online.” Because let’s be serious, all of us are trying to show and pretend to be the best on social media. I have been pretty lucky to meet some fantastic guys online that now I am blessed to call them my friends. But as every fairytale has its bad parts too, I had the bad luck to meet some people that received block immediately due to their way of talking. And the worst: been ghosted by guys that I caught feelings for, or found out that they were in other relationships.

Long story short, being a long-time single girl, I decided one night to reply on a social network app to a guy. Didn’t expect anything, so I just went with the flow. 5 hours lasted our first discussion. That type of discussion, that you never want to end. I felt such strong chemistry with that guy like I never felt before. Eventually, we talked daily, for hours. I went to bed and woke up with his texts. Days passed, and he became desperate to meet me, but not in my city. At the same time, he was avoiding letting me add him on Facebook which somehow raised a flag and made me think if he has something to hide. And he did. He was in a long-time relationship while trying to get me too. I confronted him, did not react, but at the same time, tried to get a date with me. He didn’t, and because of it, he stopped talking to me and unfollowed me on social media.

I start to believe that these apps are just a loss of time. It is like a lottery, but unfortunately, most of the time you lose, as some people are only looking to get laid and forget they know you after. So pay attention to the flags and what your intuition is telling you, cause you never know what you may end up with. It only may further decrease your self-esteem and may you question why weren’t you enough? Well, guess what? You were enough,they weren’t.

When a stranger gives you the best lesson.

“I worked in the hospitality industry for three years. And this gave me the chance to meet some great people with whom I am still friends today. One of them is my ex operations manager. The person who tried to change my life while I was working with him, but I refused and learned the lessons he was trying to give me the hard way.

I was a very arrogant but at the same time depressed girl. The type who wants to change the world, but not today. I wasn’t saw anything positive, always complaining about everything. And in the end, after several times of threatening of living, I finally did. But before that, my ex-manager wanted to give me another chance and had a soul-to-soul discussion about being more positive and open to opportunities. I heard what he had to say, but didn’t pay too much attention to put it into practice.

I went back home, ended up unemployed and in the wrongest relationship of my life. The result? A depression that almost drove me to suicide, more toxic people, and a complete lack of sense in my life. And then is when I remembered that discussion, and realized that the problem was no one but myself. My life, my decisions, my results.

So I started to read personal development books, meditate, did courses and met new people and made new friends. And then came the biggest test: a new relationship. I’ve met someone amazing on the internet and thought he was the one…but after a month I found out that he was in a 6 years long-distance relationship. And then is when I understood that I was finally healed from the past and stronger than I thought. I left him but compared to my previous relationship, this time I knew how to deal with the situation and show more love and respect for myself.

And the most beautiful thing this taught me is that I am ENOUGH. It’s fantastic to have people who truly care and love you, but if you are not OK with yourself, you will never be happy. So cherish yourself more than anything else”

Hello everybody! This is an email that I received from a girl who wants to tell you her story. About how in life, you should receive the help and support at the right time and not wait until you are on the edge of life.

A toxic relationship:the worst nightmare.

Hello everybody! For the past few days, I had this topic in mind, trying to decide if I should write about it or not. And here we are.

This post is a true story that I hope will help others who are in the same situation. There comes a moment in your life when you fall in love with the wrongest person. You know, that type of relationship who takes everything and sometimes, everyone from you, but gives nothing instead. The relationship that makes you feel worthless, incomplete, and a total wreck.

Well, the wounds left after you break up with your toxic partner are extremely hard to heal. The mental and physical pain is so hard to deal with. It feels like you have no life left inside and have no clue how to go back to your life, the one before this nightmare.

And when you think that you healed and ready to move on, someone appears in your life. A handsome, well-educated, and sexy as hell man. The type of guy with whom you speak until 3 am and feel like it’s been a 30 minutes discussion and not 5 hours one. And he sees through you, your rawest side, the one completely naked (and not talking about clothes). And at that moment, the triggers start: The comparison with the toxic ex begins, bringing back memories and wounds that you project onto the new guy. And you start to question every little thing he says or does. You want him, but at the same time, you are scared as hell.

And then one night, he disappears without saying anything. And then the worst scenario comes to your mind: you have been ghosted again. He abandoned you too. And your anxiety, overthinking, and everything else hits again. Stronger than ever. Because you realize that you had a chance with a great guy and you lost it. But he comes back. Just had an emergency….. And then is the moment when you realize that you fell for him. But what do you do when the fear of the past, still plays you? Do you fight to open up and gain a chance to be happy? Or do you lose the guy, give in to the ghost of the past and live a miserable life?

Maybe life gives you a real chance to happiness or another lesson. No one knows but as Eminem’s song says :
“Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?”

The decision belongs to each one of us. Let’s just make it the right way. Love you all and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey.

An Easter to remember.

Hello everyone! I hope you and your families are all fine. Happy Easter!!Today is the third day of Orthodox Easter. And this is the topic for today. How this Easter (not only the orthodox but also the catholic one) was more special than in the past years.

We are going through a dark period. A period of uncertainty, mixed feelings, far from the ones we love and apparently with no brighter future. Apparently. I can definitely say that this Easter was one of the biggest life lessons someone could ever give us.

As much as I hate to say it, this virus also has something good. Brings people back together. And no, I am not talking about exes 🙂 I am talking about people that we always said we wanted to contact them but never got the chance, as we were way too busy, running for stupid things. Things that now are useless.

This Easter showed the human side of us. Not the material one. We didn’t have the chance to show off the last bag or dress we bought, the new mani/pedi we got or how we made our hair for a fancy party. Nope. We didn’t even get the chance to go to the church. We had to find the faith inside us. Or at least, what was left. For the first time, we had to find the light within ourselves and not get it from the church.

This Easter was a reset button for most of us. Why? Because we did or at least I hope we did understand that the biggest gift life gave us is the family. Having the opportunity to call your loved ones and hearing that they are safe and sound, is priceless. It was for the first time in 28 years when calling my grandmothers on the first day of Easter made me cry. Of sadness and happiness at the same time. It made me realize that I am more vulnerable and emotional when it comes to my family than I have ever thought. Not being able to see our friends,family and the people we love, showed once more how insignificant our life is without love. And closure. Maybe this virus and the quarantine will make all of us understand that we can have as much money we want, fancy clothes or expensive stuff. We can have EVERYTHING we want. But if we do not have our family or the people we love and care for, with us to share all of this, we are NOTHING.

Hopefully, next year, things will go back to normal and we will be together and celebrate Easter. But there will be different versions of ourselves. Better ones. Because, by then, we will learn to appreciate more the freedom and love. And live in the moment, without excuses.

Common sense vs coronavirus. Which one is the winner?

Coronavirus is the main topic worldwide for the past months. Wherever you go, whatever you do it is impossible to not hear about it. Media is full of news, breaking news and fake ones regarding the topic. Thousands of opinions, advices and conspiracy theories. So what is left to do?

Going from ” it is just a damn flu” to “it has been created by certain governments to kill the old people”, the individuals are slowly but surely getting in a vicious cycle. When the media is stronger than common sense, the first battle is already lost. The panic is installed and the people are starting to act like animals. Starting with fighting for toilet paper (!!!!) and ending with bulk shopping, they completely forget that is just a flu and not the hunger games.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying it is not important, because for damn sure it is, but just take a break for a moment, breath and use your brain to differentiate what you hear vs what is truly going on at the moment. I am from a country where we got from 3 cases to 70 in a few days, just because 2 idiots who were infected, preferred to keep their mouth shut, lie in the declaration and act as they’ve never been in an infected zone just to don’t go into quarantine. They put in danger their families and others just because they thought nothing will happen. We have Italians coming and being very aggressive for being put straight into quarantine claiming that they are healthy, while the tests are showing the contrary.

It is only about 2 weeks of quarantine. Instead of infecting your parents and grandparents (who are the most affected), stay in the house and isolate yourself. Have common sense and understand that you are not only in the world. How would you feel knowing that because of your ignorance and stupidity, your grandparents, or even worse, your parents would die?? Can you live with the thought?

In a world full of ” I am the only one who matters” can we still have humanity within us and act accordingly?? Can we understand that our actions create reactions too? More than any health subject regarding this virus, I believe that this is a life lesson that we are supposed to learn. And not by emptying the stores. Nope. Is about learning to respect and care for the one next to us. It is about respecting more the heroes who are working as hard as they can to cure the patients with the risk of getting ill themselves. It is about basic hygiene procedures. Things that should normally be done. Not only for this virus.

I saw online a picture of an old lady looking to do grocery shop. She had nothing to choose from. Now I am asking you: if you know that your mom or grandmother is at risk of being killed by a virus and furthermore is unable to buy things that can save her from getting infected, would you still buy like the end of the world is coming???? What are you going to do with so many things and food?????Throwing it for expiring???

I am truly wishing that this situation will soon end, or at least ameliorate. Especially for death cases. And for all of those who at the moment have someone infected. We should all pray for them. It is the minimum we can do. And maybe we learn something from this until is too late. Wish you all the best and get well soon.

The darkest hour is just before the dawn…

For a very long period, I refused to believe this. When people are looking at you and treat you as a failure, your first reaction is to see only the dark side. No lights at the end, no stars, nothing. Plain darkness.

Have you ever been in a situation when you feel like you have no option, life purpose or hope? A moment when you feel like your life is ending although you are still young? Well, it happens to most of us at some point in our lives, even though we want to admit it or not. And having people judging or leaving you when you need them the most is not helping too much.

When you are unemployed for a long period (1 year+) due to various reasons, people don’t want to listen to your story but treat you as if you deserve anything good. As if you are a wreck. This includes family. It is awful to hear from you blood-related people remarks like: ” Oh noo. This is the end of your life.no one will hire you now. You lost it all”.Not even a cheering phrase or a good word. Nothing.

And then you have 2 choices: give up or move on and see what life has for you. In my case,I’ve decided to isolate myself from those toxic people and look for support and help in strangers. And I managed somehow to see a light. It is still a long way to go, but at least I am slowly moving. I started another blog (travel one), I am doing new courses and developing myself both personally and professionally, and helping others who were in my situation. More than my closest friends and my parents, no one knows what I am doing, because I stopped giving an explanation to anyone.

I had strangers helping me more than my own family. And I fought so much with myself that I am finally proud of myself. Life goes on, but you can’t ever forget who was truly next to you when you needed them. Those who believed in you, when you were at your lowest point.Family isn’t always blood.Family is made by those who truly love and care about you.

And remember that no matter what you are going through at the moment, there will always be a light at the “end of the tunnel”. And that the darkest hour is just before the dawn.

This Christmas you are not alone!

Merry Christmas everyone! Today we will talk about Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year. And sometimes, one of the periods which causes us the worst pain.

This post is for all the people who, at the moment are feeling lonely , heartbroken or in pain. Studies are showing that Christmas is the period when people who are struggling are feeling the pain stronger than ever. And I know how it feels. Last year, Christmas was hell for me.

I have been dumped a year ago, this day, through a text message stating that not only he leaves me on Christmas day, but also he cheated on me. The shock was so strong, that months after, I found out that I almost died that night. I still can’t remember anything else from that moment or the following days. One year after, I got my friends and family back, I am happy and healed, and slowly but surely, gaining the control back.The point is , that even the worst moment can be survived. You may feel hopeless, lonely or worthless. But you are NOT. For sure, there is at least a person who truly loves and cares about you, a reason to fight for or a dream that you always wanted to achieve. For anyone reading this and who needs help, please know that you are not alone. The darkness will pass, the light will come back into your life.

Depression can be fought, the same as loneliness or emptiness. You have the most wonderful gift someone can have: YOURSELF. Look in the mirror and see how beautiful inside and outside you are. Let the Christmas vibe get into you. Love and appreciate yourself more.

This Christmas, you are not alone. Make this the best Christmas of your life. Smile, laugh, have fun…be happy!!! Happy Merry Christmas!!!!!:)