life lessons – Yanny's Journey

A letter to my ex

Dear Ex,

I would like to start this letter by thanking you.For everything. We had an amazing time, but sometimes life has different plans for us. Maybe it is better like this.

I fought with everything I had to keep the relationship alive. Until one day…when I realised you were lying me big time. And then I stopped caring.The only outcome of this was the end of the relationship. Which eventually happened. And you were sure that going back to your ex will help you forget of me.

I stopped contacting you and I was sure that you will come back. You did. You started to contact me in any way you could even though you were with her. Nothing changed for me, I was still missing you. The old you. Not the one that broke up with me.

You left her too, as you weren’t happy . Found another one, with a child , who you believed will help you forget of me and make you happy.She was posting every single little thing you were doing on Facebook….. trying to mark her territory. But this didn’t make you stop thinking of me. As you continued stalking me on social media and liking every single post.

And then, on your relationship anniversary, you sent me a text. The last lie that I took from you. And then I realised that you will never change. You continue to be a person who doesn’t respect the woman next to him. Who doesn’t care how much your partner is suffering, as long as you are happy.

Learn that for a relationship it takes 2. One side love is not enough. I wish you all the best.To be happy and have the family you wanted. But do not forget one thing :Karma is a b***h. I have finally moved on and do not care about us anymore. I don’t tremble and smile when I see a like from you. Life goes on. No contact rule is on.

But I really hope you will get more mature at your 33 and treat the people the right way.And start to listen more. Life is not only about yourself. Is about the people you care too.

Now it’s time to say goodbye. What’s next? For you, to sleep with someone while thinking of others. For me following my dreams and find a new one. Maybe the next one will be the right one. For us, it is the end of the road.

Best Regards,

An ex who loved you more than you will ever know.

How can being gay be changed by religion??

Since I was a child I have been thought by people around me that being gay/lesbian is a disease. I was 19 when I first met one. And it was “love at first sight”. He is still one of my best friends and is the one who changed my mind completely. Throughout the time, due to university and work, had the chance to create a group of LGBT people. And although I am straight, I loved going to their parties and parades with my friends.

Last night I was with one of them, shopping. While we were in the queue to pay, there was a foreign old couple behind us who suddenly approached my friend. They were very religious and started to be very rude to him , by telling him that he is an error of nature and I should pray for his soul to come back to normality. They kept telling us that in their country, he would be killed for being gay and he should seek religious and mental help.

Now my question is: how on earth can religion change a gay/lesbian orientation?? It would be like if I’m praying God to make lesbian and tomorrow when I will wake up, I will be one??? This is pure b******t. I know people who took their lives for not being accepted in their family or friends circle when they came out.

People should understand that being gay is not a choice. Is not like a pair of shoes that you choose to wear. It’s something that you are born with. I have an acquaintance who was married for 10 years and had children because his family obliged him. When his parents died, he married a guy. And he is extremely happy, as he always knew he is gay. And his wife had a double life while trying to cover him.

If you believe that whoever you are praying to, will change your child’s orientation, you have no brain. We should be more open-mind and accept love in all its forms. Why it should bother me that the guy or the girl next to me has a different orientation. It’s his/her life.

The worst thing that the “lady” told my boy last night was “being gay will also make you look for small children attention. You will become a pedophile too.” This broke his heart. He is a teaching assistant. And is doing an amazing job. The kids really love him. But what has to do being a gay with a pedophile?? There are a lot of straight pedophiles too. Are they better just because they are straight??

We should pay more attention to what are we talking about. And if we are not sure about something, just shut the hell up. One thing is to be religious and the other is to make others be an idiot and selfish as you. I am religious in my way but I am also mature enough to understand that the world is changing and we love more the one next to us.

So I am still asking myself: how religion can change sexual orientation?

Goodbye 26, welcome 27!

If I would have to describe how it felt being 26, the first thing coming to my mind would be: roller-coaster. It’s been one of the most interesting years of my life.

I had the chance to re-discover myself, set new boundaries and learn new things. I lied, I’ve been lied to, I loved,cried, laughed as tomorrow will never come again. I lost friends,some of them forever. But the most important thing that I learned,was to pay more attention to myself and my needs.

26 was the age when enough was enough. When the dreams were more important than what would people say. Was the moment when I stopped toxic relationships and regain control over myself.I am not old, I am not young. The inner child is still alive, but the mature side is also there.

Had the opportunity to travel and discover new places. To push my limits and reconsider what really matters in life.In the end, I realize that no matter how bad you want something, if it’s not for you, it won’t be.

Today I’m 27. New year, new start, new opportunities and challenges. I hope it will be better than the last one. With less fake people. More love, travel, good books,friends and family. With more positive experiences and life lessons.

And with more posts on this blog 🙂 Yanny’s journey continues.

“My parents are living my life”

Hello again. Tonight, my best friend, asked me to write her story. It is a true life story about the way that her parents are trying to live her life. Unfortunately,she is not the first or the last one to go through this but she just wanted to share her story with you.

I will call her B. B is a 27 years old, great, loving person. She would move the mountains for the ones she loves and is always there for whoever needs her help. But she has manipulative, controlling parents. Especially her mother.

But let’s start with the beginning. This thing started in childhood, when what she was doing was never enough. She was always told that her colleagues are better and that she would never achieve what the others do, as she is lazy and stupid. Her mother was monitoring her all the time, the only time being left alone being when she was at her grandparents. This continued as a teenager, when she was considered a freak by her colleagues and left outside. She had to deal with weight problems and although told her mother to look for help, the only answer received was”they will love you the way you are”. She wasn’t allowed to use make-up when going to high-school or go outside with her friends, without receiving calls from her mom. Parties or club??No freaking way. B went into a heavy depression, thinking of taking her life several times. But always she found a way to fight the demons and move on. When she was 19, she decided to move abroad and study. This was the beginning of her own life. Or at least this is what she thought. Her parents became even more controlling and manipulative. Her mother didn’t let her work and paid for her studies and everything else. But B had to give an explanation for everything she did. If she was liking a guy and her mother didn’t, she was supposed to break up with him. And she always did what they wanted as she loved them and wanted to make them happy and proud of her.

She finished uni, got a job, been on her own money, but the manipulation didn’t stop. When she was coming on holidays, her parents were making her believe that what she was doing was wrong, all her friends were wrong and they knew better what suits B the best. She gave up on her job abroad because of them,left her friends and everyone there and came back to Romania last year. She moved to her parents place and the hell began again. Whenever in public or with friends, her mother was interfering and telling her what she says or does is not good. B fell in love with a guy she thought was the one..I have never seen her so in love. She was radiating happiness. Until one day when her father told her that she must cut the communication with that guy as he is not good enough for her… She was distraught….she tried to hide it from that guy but changed towards him until one day when he broke up with her. It’s been 3 months since then and she is still in depression and not able to move on. Her parents were happy of getting rid of that guy while she was dying inside:( . Due to the manipulation from childhood and teenager period, she couldn’t have sex with anyone. Her therapist said that this is a blockage due to her parents reaction.

I saw her today.She is at the end of her powers. She feels full of regrets and is looking to leave the country. And thinking of no coming back. She is afraid that if she stays in Romania, her parents may come whenever they want….and breaking her life again. She was crying when asked me to write this…:(

She wants a family and someone to love and feel loved as I have never seen in my life. But she is scared….what if the guy will leave her again?? what if she won’t be a good parent??

Why would you do this as a parent???? She is lost, she feels hopeless, worthless and empty. And her parents are not helping her at all ….but the opposite. They are accusing her that she did a university on their money and now she can’t find a suitable job.

I really wish her all the best and to be able to be happy. She deserves it. But we both want to find out your opinion too. Especially from those who’ve been through this type of situation.

Why are parents trying to live children’s life??? Destroying their lives just because they want them to be puppets??? What for?? Something that they didn’t have in their life?? Frustration? Because I don’t think this is a normal behavior. Even though she is the only child, her parents should understand she is mature enough to move on with her life and stop living her life.

“Drugs destroyed my life”

I needed to take some time off from everything. The past month was a huge life lesson. A lesson that thought me how a single moment can destroy your life.

How it all started ? Like this. I had a childhood friend:very nice, well-behaved guy. He was able to move the mountains for his dreams. His family situation was never Ok, but he never stopped fighting for himself and his grandma who raised him.(his parents are divorced and he loved to stay more with his grandma due to a home situation).

Our roads separated when we moved to different countries. He was working in popular restaurants and had a dream to win a cooking contest. He did it. And that was the moment which changed his life. He won an important amount of money and was having a lot of plans.The last time I met him was 4 years ago after he won it. He told me about what he wants to do further and was very happy. But after one year, he moved back in Romania and entered an entourage which literally destroyed him. He changed completely towards everyone and forgot about his hometown friends. I tried to contact him several times, with no outcome… Little we or his family knew that in his entourage, drugs were an ordinary thing 😦

Last year, his grandma died. It was the “end” of his life and his career. During his funeral, he was on drugs, but no one knew. He attacked a beggar, but people thought it was due to his sorrow caused by the loss. His father took him home and he jumped on the window to escape. That night, he killed a woman. A stranger.He hit her with extreme aggressivity until she died… The last month was his trial. He received 10 years of prison. His last words when he said goodbye to us were”Drugs destroyed my life”

Guys, I had known and still know people dealing with drug addiction. I lost friends (took their lives) because of this. The reasons for using drugs? Mainly entourage.They don’t want to look stupid in front of their friends. Or family problems.

Please ask for help. Drugs are not healing, are destroying:dreams. lives, families, EVERYTHING. One single moment destroyed my friend’s life. Only one. He can’t remember how he hit her or how he fell asleep next to her. The only thing he remembers is that while he was drugged, he had the impression that demons are following him.

Drug addiction can be healed. In time and with specialist support, there is a way to give up. Just try. Don’t leave drugs to destroy your life too. If not for you, do for the people you love and for the dreams you have. And remember that the night is the darkest before the dawn. There is always hope.

If tomorrow never comes.

One of the best things about working in the hospitality industry is that you get to know people. Not only customers. They are coming and going. But you get to work in a team that if you are lucky enough can become like your family.

I had the chance to be part of 2 amazing teams. With most of my ex-colleagues I am still afriend and talk anytime we have the chance. During my last job, I had the opportunity to meet one of the nicest and funniest people ever. His name was Paul. I have never , ever seen him angry or sad. Or saying no to helping others. He was always there, anytime we were calling him he was coming and help. I’ve been blessed to work many shifts together and he taught me a lot of things. Both personal and professional. Such a lovely, funny and smiley person. Last time I talked to him was a couple months ago. He was happy, telling me about his family. His wife, children and granddaughter were his weak point. He was absolutely over heels when was talking about them.

Last night, I have received a message. It was from one of my ex-colleagues. “Paul went for a run and suffered a heart attack. He died” . WHATTTTT????????? Whooooo?????? I didn’t believe it for a second. I called my ex-manager. She was crying. Paul was dead. Our lovely man is not with us anymore. At that moment I hated myself. I have said so many times that I will call him or at least text to check on him. But always something came up and forgot about it. Now I can’t call him anymore…

The same happened with one of my grandfathers few years ago. I was getting ready to fly back abroad, as the holiday was over and had to get back to uni. I quickly went to say goodbye to him and my grandmother. Although he asked me to stay a little longer, that day I didn’t do it. I told him I was going to see him in the next holiday. Kissed and hugged both of them and went home. Didn’t think about it anymore. 2 weeks later, I dreamed of him. He was saying goodbye. The next morning he was found dead in the hospital. I didn’t have the chance to attend his funeral and say goodbye. 7 years later, I still feel guilty and it hurts that in that day I didn’t stay longer. Regrets are worthless now. It won’t bring anyone back.

The aim of this is to understand that we should appreciate more the people we have next to us. Call them more often, text and see how are they doing. Value them more when they are alive and not regretting after. It is enough a moment. To lose all. Maybe they are now in a better place. But we are left with wounds. Some goes with the time .Others stay there forever.

But what if tomorrow never comes?

2062489-elvis-presley-quote-never-wait-for-tomorrow-what-if-tomorrow-never

2018. The year of lessons.

If I would describe 2018 in one word it would simply be :a lesson. It’s been one of the most beautiful but challenging years of my life. One that helped me discover myself and the people around me. It had everything:love, sorrow, happiness, friends , work, achievements and the most important: life lessons.

It made me realize that who is supposed to stay in our life will do it, who is not will leave. No matter how much you want someone, if it’s not meant to be it won’t. It’s been like a storm sometimes, but the sun was always turning up.

I had the chance to give up my old job, do new courses, develop myself, gaining strength to open the blog and share my stories. I lost people that I loved and wanted, been betrayed and abandoned, but all of this just helped me to become stronger and to stand up for myself. I learned to appreciate more the people that really care for and always supported and loved me. I stopped listening to others and be controlled by what people have to say about my decisions. I have discovered how to seem in the front of others when I was dying inside. I moved on.

New year, new projects, new desires. New ME.

If I would have to make a top 5 lessons of 2018, it would be like this:

Never let yourself or your dreams down by anyone.

You only have 1 life. For a long time, I left my parents or friends to have a say in my decisions. This year taught me to be more independent and follow my dreams and make my own decisions. My life, my choices.

2. Everything happens for a reason

It’s been a tough lesson to learn. People will come to your life:some will stay, some will leave. Don’t try to keep the ones who want to go. Don’t fight for them. If they are meant to be in your life, they will be back .If not, no. Everything happens for a reason.

3. Not everything is what it seems.

For almost 3 months I believed in a person who seemed perfect for me. He ended up being unworthy. It’s been so sad to move on from this, but it only made me realize that I am stronger than I thought. And I deserve better. Someone who really loves me and won’t dump on Christmas.

4. Be more positive and appreciate what I have and achieved until now.

2018 it’s been really funny, with lots of new destinations, travel and holidays. New experiences, new people, new things to learn. I learned to be more grateful for everything I have and understand that life is not always pink. It’s a carousel. Up and down.

5. Family and friends are everything.

The most important lesson of 2018 was that you are the wealthiest person if you have the ones you love healthy and next to you. Even though sometimes we are far away from our friends or family, we always know that we have a place called HOME. With people who will do everything for us and support us in hard times.

When crossing the line, 2018 was an amazing year. A year to remember. But 2019 is coming. With more hope, love ,new projects and new lessons. Let’s hope for a better year, for a more peaceful and happier year.

Thank you all who have been part of my journey this year. Wish you all the best and a prosperous and happy New Year. See you next year with more stories and experiences. So please continue to be part of Yanny’s Journey 🙂

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!! 🙂