Tag: life lessons

A toxic relationship:the worst nightmare.

Hello everybody! For the past few days, I had this topic in mind, trying to decide if I should write about it or not. And here we are.

This post is a true story that I hope will help others who are in the same situation. There comes a moment in your life when you fall in love with the wrongest person. You know, that type of relationship who takes everything and sometimes, everyone from you, but gives nothing instead. The relationship that makes you feel worthless, incomplete, and a total wreck.

Well, the wounds left after you break up with your toxic partner are extremely hard to heal. The mental and physical pain is so hard to deal with. It feels like you have no life left inside and have no clue how to go back to your life, the one before this nightmare.

And when you think that you healed and ready to move on, someone appears in your life. A handsome, well-educated, and sexy as hell man. The type of guy with whom you speak until 3 am and feel like it’s been a 30 minutes discussion and not 5 hours one. And he sees through you, your rawest side, the one completely naked (and not talking about clothes). And at that moment, the triggers start: The comparison with the toxic ex begins, bringing back memories and wounds that you project onto the new guy. And you start to question every little thing he says or does. You want him, but at the same time, you are scared as hell.

And then one night, he disappears without saying anything. And then the worst scenario comes to your mind: you have been ghosted again. He abandoned you too. And your anxiety, overthinking, and everything else hits again. Stronger than ever. Because you realize that you had a chance with a great guy and you lost it. But he comes back. Just had an emergency….. And then is the moment when you realize that you fell for him. But what do you do when the fear of the past, still plays you? Do you fight to open up and gain a chance to be happy? Or do you lose the guy, give in to the ghost of the past and live a miserable life?

Maybe life gives you a real chance to happiness or another lesson. No one knows but as Eminem’s song says :
“Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?”

The decision belongs to each one of us. Let’s just make it the right way. Love you all and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey.

An Easter to remember.

Hello everyone! I hope you and your families are all fine. Happy Easter!!Today is the third day of Orthodox Easter. And this is the topic for today. How this Easter (not only the orthodox but also the catholic one) was more special than in the past years.

We are going through a dark period. A period of uncertainty, mixed feelings, far from the ones we love and apparently with no brighter future. Apparently. I can definitely say that this Easter was one of the biggest life lessons someone could ever give us.

As much as I hate to say it, this virus also has something good. Brings people back together. And no, I am not talking about exes 🙂 I am talking about people that we always said we wanted to contact them but never got the chance, as we were way too busy, running for stupid things. Things that now are useless.

This Easter showed the human side of us. Not the material one. We didn’t have the chance to show off the last bag or dress we bought, the new mani/pedi we got or how we made our hair for a fancy party. Nope. We didn’t even get the chance to go to the church. We had to find the faith inside us. Or at least, what was left. For the first time, we had to find the light within ourselves and not get it from the church.

This Easter was a reset button for most of us. Why? Because we did or at least I hope we did understand that the biggest gift life gave us is the family. Having the opportunity to call your loved ones and hearing that they are safe and sound, is priceless. It was for the first time in 28 years when calling my grandmothers on the first day of Easter made me cry. Of sadness and happiness at the same time. It made me realize that I am more vulnerable and emotional when it comes to my family than I have ever thought. Not being able to see our friends,family and the people we love, showed once more how insignificant our life is without love. And closure. Maybe this virus and the quarantine will make all of us understand that we can have as much money we want, fancy clothes or expensive stuff. We can have EVERYTHING we want. But if we do not have our family or the people we love and care for, with us to share all of this, we are NOTHING.

Hopefully, next year, things will go back to normal and we will be together and celebrate Easter. But there will be different versions of ourselves. Better ones. Because, by then, we will learn to appreciate more the freedom and love. And live in the moment, without excuses.

Common sense vs coronavirus. Which one is the winner?

Coronavirus is the main topic worldwide for the past months. Wherever you go, whatever you do it is impossible to not hear about it. Media is full of news, breaking news and fake ones regarding the topic. Thousands of opinions, advices and conspiracy theories. So what is left to do?

Going from ” it is just a damn flu” to “it has been created by certain governments to kill the old people”, the individuals are slowly but surely getting in a vicious cycle. When the media is stronger than common sense, the first battle is already lost. The panic is installed and the people are starting to act like animals. Starting with fighting for toilet paper (!!!!) and ending with bulk shopping, they completely forget that is just a flu and not the hunger games.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying it is not important, because for damn sure it is, but just take a break for a moment, breath and use your brain to differentiate what you hear vs what is truly going on at the moment. I am from a country where we got from 3 cases to 70 in a few days, just because 2 idiots who were infected, preferred to keep their mouth shut, lie in the declaration and act as they’ve never been in an infected zone just to don’t go into quarantine. They put in danger their families and others just because they thought nothing will happen. We have Italians coming and being very aggressive for being put straight into quarantine claiming that they are healthy, while the tests are showing the contrary.

It is only about 2 weeks of quarantine. Instead of infecting your parents and grandparents (who are the most affected), stay in the house and isolate yourself. Have common sense and understand that you are not only in the world. How would you feel knowing that because of your ignorance and stupidity, your grandparents, or even worse, your parents would die?? Can you live with the thought?

In a world full of ” I am the only one who matters” can we still have humanity within us and act accordingly?? Can we understand that our actions create reactions too? More than any health subject regarding this virus, I believe that this is a life lesson that we are supposed to learn. And not by emptying the stores. Nope. Is about learning to respect and care for the one next to us. It is about respecting more the heroes who are working as hard as they can to cure the patients with the risk of getting ill themselves. It is about basic hygiene procedures. Things that should normally be done. Not only for this virus.

I saw online a picture of an old lady looking to do grocery shop. She had nothing to choose from. Now I am asking you: if you know that your mom or grandmother is at risk of being killed by a virus and furthermore is unable to buy things that can save her from getting infected, would you still buy like the end of the world is coming???? What are you going to do with so many things and food?????Throwing it for expiring???

I am truly wishing that this situation will soon end, or at least ameliorate. Especially for death cases. And for all of those who at the moment have someone infected. We should all pray for them. It is the minimum we can do. And maybe we learn something from this until is too late. Wish you all the best and get well soon.

The darkest hour is just before the dawn…

For a very long period, I refused to believe this. When people are looking at you and treat you as a failure, your first reaction is to see only the dark side. No lights at the end, no stars, nothing. Plain darkness.

Have you ever been in a situation when you feel like you have no option, life purpose or hope? A moment when you feel like your life is ending although you are still young? Well, it happens to most of us at some point in our lives, even though we want to admit it or not. And having people judging or leaving you when you need them the most is not helping too much.

When you are unemployed for a long period (1 year+) due to various reasons, people don’t want to listen to your story but treat you as if you deserve anything good. As if you are a wreck. This includes family. It is awful to hear from you blood-related people remarks like: ” Oh noo. This is the end of your life.no one will hire you now. You lost it all”.Not even a cheering phrase or a good word. Nothing.

And then you have 2 choices: give up or move on and see what life has for you. In my case,I’ve decided to isolate myself from those toxic people and look for support and help in strangers. And I managed somehow to see a light. It is still a long way to go, but at least I am slowly moving. I started another blog (travel one), I am doing new courses and developing myself both personally and professionally, and helping others who were in my situation. More than my closest friends and my parents, no one knows what I am doing, because I stopped giving an explanation to anyone.

I had strangers helping me more than my own family. And I fought so much with myself that I am finally proud of myself. Life goes on, but you can’t ever forget who was truly next to you when you needed them. Those who believed in you, when you were at your lowest point.Family isn’t always blood.Family is made by those who truly love and care about you.

And remember that no matter what you are going through at the moment, there will always be a light at the “end of the tunnel”. And that the darkest hour is just before the dawn.

This Christmas you are not alone!

Merry Christmas everyone! Today we will talk about Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year. And sometimes, one of the periods which causes us the worst pain.

This post is for all the people who, at the moment are feeling lonely , heartbroken or in pain. Studies are showing that Christmas is the period when people who are struggling are feeling the pain stronger than ever. And I know how it feels. Last year, Christmas was hell for me.

I have been dumped a year ago, this day, through a text message stating that not only he leaves me on Christmas day, but also he cheated on me. The shock was so strong, that months after, I found out that I almost died that night. I still can’t remember anything else from that moment or the following days. One year after, I got my friends and family back, I am happy and healed, and slowly but surely, gaining the control back.The point is , that even the worst moment can be survived. You may feel hopeless, lonely or worthless. But you are NOT. For sure, there is at least a person who truly loves and cares about you, a reason to fight for or a dream that you always wanted to achieve. For anyone reading this and who needs help, please know that you are not alone. The darkness will pass, the light will come back into your life.

Depression can be fought, the same as loneliness or emptiness. You have the most wonderful gift someone can have: YOURSELF. Look in the mirror and see how beautiful inside and outside you are. Let the Christmas vibe get into you. Love and appreciate yourself more.

This Christmas, you are not alone. Make this the best Christmas of your life. Smile, laugh, have fun…be happy!!! Happy Merry Christmas!!!!!:)

Be happy with yourself

Nobody can make you happy until you are happy with  yourself first. It is one of the most important lessons a woman needs to learn. This year taught me this the hardest way. I always was one of those people who care more about the needs of others and loved people more than myself.

I’ve always put myself in the last position, just to make sure that the ones around me are good. Little thing I knew that I was slowly, but surely losing myself. I got up to the point where I was exhausted, with a huge need for a break from reality. There were some problems and when I needed help, I realized that some of the people I was always there for, completely disappeared or told me that they have better things to do. That was the wake-up call. As a people pleaser, always seeking validation and attention from others, I decided it was time for a break. I felt empty, with no purpose in life, feeling like no people were caring or loving me. It was just me, myself and I.

I stayed in the darkness (mental darkness) for like 4 days. Refusing to get out of my room, sleeping and thinking. And one morning, I woke up and was like: it is time to care for myself. And the most important thing…..learn to love me again. I started to read, get involved in volunteering, do the things I loved the most. I even did a course that I wanted for years, but every time I was finding excuses to don’t. Done all the changes that I was craving for, but been too afraid to do them due to what people would say.

It’s been 2 months since I took that decision. And I frankly tell you that I am changed. It seems like the one I was at the beginning of the year, compared to the one I am now, is like 2 different persons in the same body. I don’t care about what others have to say, I don’t settle for less anymore, what I receive is what I give. I had people telling me (some of those who left me when I needed them the most) that they miss the old me as I was always there for them.

For all of you who are reading this and are in a similar situation, don’t ever leave yourself in second place. Your family, lover or friends can give you advice but it’s your decision on what you do with your life. Don’t live the life others want you to, live the life that makes you happy.

Keep going for your dreams, become the person you want and keep next to you only those who proved they are genuine. And never forget: You are the only RESPONSIBLE for your happiness. Look in the mirror and you will see the person that will always be there for you….and then you will realize your real value.

Who are we really?

“Who are you?”. One of the questions that we have to deal with, every day. It’s easy to answer it just with a name, but deep inside, who are you?

Nowadays, people wear masks. To pretend to be someone else or to hide things from other people. It is in human nature to try to be better than the one next to us or possessing more things than others. But we forget the essence. Slowly, but surely, we forget ourselves. It is a pattern that each one of us hears since childhood: go to school, get a job, get married, have children and die. No one is asking us what we want. What we truly want.

I absolutely hate questions like:”Oh, you are 27 and still not married?”, “When will you get pregnant?”. Why is this your problem?? The society nowadays is so focused on labels and fake conclusions that is unbelievable. It’s not ok to be fat, slim, divorced, gay, single, unemployed, or God knows what else. Don’t judge before knowing the person. You don’t know what is on her plate.

I see girls in 20s, with no dreams at all, only wanting to marry rich guys so they can make fun of their poorer friends…….. Or women staying in toxic relationships just because of what would people say. And men who believe that they are in the Middle Ages and treat women like slaves. Ummmmm….times changes.

We are stuck in a generation where loyalty is just a word, love is slowly disappearing and lying is the new truth. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that everyone is the same. But it is a pity the fact that in our run for money, power and reputation, we forget the humanity.

Let’s do an exercise. Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself ” Who are you?” . And try to give the most honest answer. Is the one that you are looking at, a person or a human? I wish you all a weekend full of love, peace and positive energy. And let’s make this world a better place 🙂

It’s the first day of the rest of your life.

Today is the day when I give up on all the negativity in my life. And leave behind all the toxic people, drama, stupid games or negative thoughts which retained me be from fighting for my dreams. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Even though we don’t realize or don’t want to accept it, we do have toxic people around us. You can see them everywhere: family, friends, work. But what is most important is how you deal with them.

In my opinion, there are 3 types of toxic people:

-Narcissist: Imagine that you are dating a guy who tells you he is the best, does this and that, possess things that he doesn’t and is the perfect definition of arrogance. He wants everyone to admire him, yet he doesn’t care at all about others feeling. Is a selfish and cold person who loves to blame others for his problems. EVERY TIME.

-Mr. Know it All: Imagine being with a guy who tells you what to listen, what friends to have, what to watch and how to talk…..Is the intellectual type who believes he is the best and knows everything that suits everyone.Is the one who has a solution for everything, concerning him or not.

-Drama Queens: My last ex is exactly this type. And I think is the most toxic type. Imagine dating with a guy who always has a drama.ALWAYS.And when you try to change the topic and be more positive, the call you heartless. Throughout my relationship with him, I gave up on so many people and chances just because he made me feel so worthless. I got to the point when I was feeling his bad energy and almost be caught in his drama. And then I realized something was wrong.I broke up with him yesterday. I couldn’t carry on anymore. His reaction? He started to play the victim role and cursed and offended me big time. But at least it’s over. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. This was the last drop.

It is time to take back my life and my dreams and move on. These toxic people made me understand that I have myself. And this is the most important. From my experience, I am telling all of you who are going through the same things: Don’t stay in a toxic relationship. RUN as far as possible. Don’t let anyone put you down. You deserve better things and people who are really able to love you. And no matter what, keep fighting for your dreams. Let today be the first day of the rest of your life.

Depression. The silent criminal.

Today I am finally able to write and say the truth. The past 4 months had been hell. I really hope it is over now. Every month I had either bad news or lost someone. The last one? The guy that I was talking about in my gay post. He died last week… in a car accident. That was the last drop.

For the past 4 months, I had to play the role of a girl who smiled and be nice to others, but the demons inside me were slowing but surely,taking control of myself. It was hard to wake up and had insomnia, either didn’t want to eat or eat like crazy. Gave up on going outside and find pleasure in things that one day was making me happy. I isolated myself and the only relief I had was crying. I got almost to the point of being aggressive with my parents, told them that I hate them and don’t want them in my life anymore. Depression was taking over me.

When I started to understand what was going on, I slowly began to ask for help. One of my friends is a therapist and he immediately understood that something was wrong with me. He told me that I have to fight with myself. as depression is not curing itself. My answer? “You’re wrong. It can’t happen to me”. And yet ,it did. And that was the moment when I realised that I have some amazing people next to me. Even though they were in other cities or countries, they helped me to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is still hope. I learned to love myself again. And the biggest lesson of all was that if I don’t love myself, no one will do. Some of the people that I thought were my friends disappeared, but instead, people who I have never thought I will be friends with, prove themselves to be true friends.

I am still fighting, but I am getting there. Step by step, I am becoming a better person. The most frightening part is over. No more black thoughts, no more isolation. I went back to exercise and job hunting. I started to post on social media and went out with friends. Went for walks by myself. And read. A lot. This was really helpful.

What I am trying to say with this post is that depression can happen to anyone of us. Regardless of religion, race, color, nationality. And then is the moment when you have to choose what’s next. The end of the road or asking for help. The biggest advice I would give up is to don’t isolate from others. And don’t think you can cure it by yourself without any help.

Depression is not only affecting me or you. Is affecting millions of people worldwide. Some of them are ashamed to recognize it as they may be treated as mentally ill. When it comes to your life, don’t give a shit about what others have to tell you. Depression if not treated or at least dealt with, is like a silent criminal who is taking the life out of you.

Never lose hope. There is always light…a door….an escape. Fight with yourself and don’t give up. Tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning. And never forget that the people who truly love you will be there no matter what.

And don’t forget something: you are love and deserve the best.

A letter to my ex

Dear Ex,

I would like to start this letter by thanking you.For everything. We had an amazing time, but sometimes life has different plans for us. Maybe it is better like this.

I fought with everything I had to keep the relationship alive. Until one day…when I realised you were lying me big time. And then I stopped caring.The only outcome of this was the end of the relationship. Which eventually happened. And you were sure that going back to your ex will help you forget of me.

I stopped contacting you and I was sure that you will come back. You did. You started to contact me in any way you could even though you were with her. Nothing changed for me, I was still missing you. The old you. Not the one that broke up with me.

You left her too, as you weren’t happy . Found another one, with a child , who you believed will help you forget of me and make you happy.She was posting every single little thing you were doing on Facebook….. trying to mark her territory. But this didn’t make you stop thinking of me. As you continued stalking me on social media and liking every single post.

And then, on your relationship anniversary, you sent me a text. The last lie that I took from you. And then I realised that you will never change. You continue to be a person who doesn’t respect the woman next to him. Who doesn’t care how much your partner is suffering, as long as you are happy.

Learn that for a relationship it takes 2. One side love is not enough. I wish you all the best.To be happy and have the family you wanted. But do not forget one thing :Karma is a b***h. I have finally moved on and do not care about us anymore. I don’t tremble and smile when I see a like from you. Life goes on. No contact rule is on.

But I really hope you will get more mature at your 33 and treat the people the right way.And start to listen more. Life is not only about yourself. Is about the people you care too.

Now it’s time to say goodbye. What’s next? For you, to sleep with someone while thinking of others. For me following my dreams and find a new one. Maybe the next one will be the right one. For us, it is the end of the road.

Best Regards,

An ex who loved you more than you will ever know.