Pay attention who don’t clap when you win

Hello everybody!! I hope you are ok. As I finished the first month of the challenge with myself, I wanted to write about something that I started to see clearer during this month, and that is to pay attention to those “who don’t clap when you win”. Today is about friends.

In this life, we get to know a lot of people. Some are a lesson, some a season and some come to stay with you no matter what. Well, the last category should be kept at all costs.

Not everyone who says it’s your friend, it truly is. Some are friends as long as they can benefit from you. Or until you try to become a better person and they feel threatened by this. Then they show their true colors.

In my opinion, there are 3 types of friends that you may get to know:

  1. The so-called “friend” :That type of person who claims to be your friend but gets frustrated when you achieve something. The one whose problems are always more important than yours and for who you must be available but is never willing to help or support you when needed. The person who plays a great role in the front of you, but behind your back is a totally different one. It usually ends with them disappearing as soon as they find someone or something better
  2. Drama queen friend: If they can’t do something, no one else can either. The type of person who doesn’t have a dream, aspirations, anything, but who thinks that is “allowed” to control everyone’s life. If they are miserable, you must be too. They constantly need assurance and attention from you and get jealous or make a crisis as soon as they don’t receive it. Tbh, this is the most toxic type of friend, as there are 2 choices: they either make you be like them, or you finally realize how toxic they are and for your own sake, leave them.
  3. A lifetime friend: Now this is the best type. Is that friend that you grow up with. You learn from, share ideas and aspirations, develop a healthy friendship based on mutual respect and support. Although you may not communicate daily, you know that they are there through thick and thin. Is that person who makes your life better. And happier.

No one said that it’s easy to create and maintain a good friendship. And sometimes you may fail, but remember something. The easiest way to see the real face of somebody is either when you are down or when you achieve something big. Someone who can’t be there for you when you struggle or truly be happy when you succeed, can’t be called a friend. Have a great day, everybody! 🙂

The story of an orange.

And nope, I am not crazy 🙂 Just wait for it. Today is a personal post, but it is a lesson that changed my personality.

I grew up in a family with strong values and traditions. But being the first baby in the family, everyone spoiled me. And it was good up to a point. I got used to receive what I wanted, and no matter what, everything was turning in my favor. And this made me an impossible child. A rude, selfish one. Until one day when my grandfather had enough and decided to give me a lesson. It was December 2001, and that year was awful. My grandfather died in January (my mom’s father) and I didn’t know how to cope with it. Everyone showed me so much love and care and satisfied all my needs that I lost control. I was 7 years old and that December was the first one without my father (who was abroad working) and my grandfather(who has been one of my favorite family members.

So, on Saint Nicholas day (on the night of 6th of December, we put our shoes and wait for sweets), I slept at my grandparents (father’s parents) place and waited for my presents. But guess what? I received only one ORANGE. And a letter. It said something like ” You must understand that love is not about how many or how expensive are things you receive. It is time for you to understand to be grateful for all the things you have and learn to share with others. You are loved and cared for. Happy holidays! “. I remember that I cried like a baby cause I was so disappointed. I got ready, went to the church with my grandparents, and there was a little girl. I remember like it was yesterday. A younger girl, poorly dressed, holding a dirty doll in her hand. And she asked for food. And as that day, everyone was giving food for the dead ones, my grandma had oranges and cookies and sweets with her too. So she asked me to give that girl a package. I swear that never in my life I saw someone being so happy for an orange. She ate it immediately with such happiness on her face.

I went home and looked at that orange that I received. And my grandpa told me:” As long as you have what to eat and someone who you can share with, you are blessed”. And since that year, every year I wait for my orange. I can receive anything, but an orange as a gift became a tradition.” Years later, I found out that my grandpa was the one who wrote the letter. And I loved him even more for that.

Be grateful for what you have. Someone may only dream about it. And if you have the chance to share it with anyone, do it. It may not change the world, but it makes you a better person and your soul a little happier :)Love you all!

A promise made to myself

Hello beautiful people!! I hope you’re all good and enjoying Sunday. As I am still in my weekend mood, I was thinking of sharing with you something that not only changed my life but myself too…completely.

Two years ago, I was a very different person. Mentally, spiritually, in any way, you could imagine. I was the one there for everyone, at any time, without expecting anything in return. A type of person who was a people pleaser, who was leaving her worth being defined by others opinion. I was afraid of pursuing my dreams because failure would have been a disaster for my family. (not my parents, my family). My parents have always been my biggest support but as stupid as I was, I was never listening to their pieces of advice, always putting others above them. But as karma proved that it is either my best friend or my worst enemy, gave me the lesson of my life.

Before starting the blog, I was at the edge of my life. Due to a toxic decision and being influenced by people with “goodwill” that I thought was caring for me, I almost lost everything: parents, friends, even myself. The 6th of December was the night that started my positive movement. For the first time in my life, no one knew my plans, my hopes, my moves, anything. Except for my parents. And my dog:)

On the 25th of December 2018, I suffered the worst disappointment of my life. And that night, the old me died. And guess what? The people who influenced me were either accusing me or disappearing totally. The only people who were by my side were my parents and some people that I would never think of, which in the meantime became my best friends. That was the moment when I made a promise to myself. No matter how hard things will be, as long as I have myself, my parents, my dog, and true friends, I can move mountains. And I did it. In 2 years I learned and developed myself more than I did in 26. I am in the happiest place of my life, surrounded by people who care and love me. People who are sharing my values, dreams, and hopes. Who are there not only when I am good, but also when I struggle. And the most important thing, I found myself. I learned how to love myself and put my needs first. To stop letting anyone else’s opinion affecting me as long as it is not constructive.

Two years taught me two crucial things: that family is not always blood, and if you really want something, then the sky is the limit. You can do whatever you want. Just believe in yourself and the magic of new beginnings.

Wishing you all a great Sunday:)

Nothing is guaranteed

Hello! I was talking to a friend today about the plans that he had this year: was supposed to get married, go abroad for his honeymoon, was nominated for a promotion at work. Seemed like he will have a great year ahead. What he didn’t know was that in reality, his life had other plans and will completely reset. Lost his job, his fiancee called off the wedding instead of postponing, and he had to take everything from 0.

We usually tend to make plans in advance. To schedule our lives for the next 3,5, even 10 years. But who guarantees us this time? Who has the certainty that life won’t play with us in a way that we will have to go back to level 1? How many times you didn’t tell yourself:” Oh, in 5 years I will have the home of my dreams” or ” I will be truly happy if I will have a great car soon?” or “I want to learn this, but I will postpone it for another time as I am not ready now?”

I, personally, wished this year to go to work in a hotel in Lapland. Did it happen? Nope. Due to this virus, I didn’t only have to give up on my hospitality career but also do courses to change the course of my life. If you would have asked me in June how I was, my answer would be: in love with a good guy and hoping for a lasting relationship. How am I now? Single and happy with my personal development.

You never know when it’s the last discussion, last kiss, or last night with someone. You can’t take anything for granted. Everything and everyone changes, including us. We have to keep the rhythm with life. Life doesn’t wait for us, and instead of regretting what we lost, just live in the moment and take as much as you can from it.

Just married…29 years ago

Today is a happy day for me as it is my parents’ wedding anniversary. They celebrate 29 years of marriage. 29 years full of so many experiences that they may write a book about their marriage.

I always saw in them a role model: both professional and personal. But the best lesson they offered me was how true love still exists. It takes a lot of work, but if both of them commit, everything is possible. They started from scratch, with baby steps but managed to create amazing stuff together. They went through some extremely painful times, but hand in hand, their relationship became even stronger. Showed that love is not perfect, either are they, but never gave up on each other.

It is unbelievable to see them 29 years after they got married, with the same level of affection, respect, and commitment towards each other. There are times when I look at them and they act like teenagers in love. With small loving gestures, a dance, surprises, anything just to keep the flame awake. And guys, this is what we should all do. Every relationship has troubles, none is perfect, but it all depends on how much you are willing to invest.

Somehow, their marriage influenced me a lot in terms of romantic relationships. As it made me look for similar things and create the same environment as I have been grown with. My parents taught me a lot of lessons and the education they provided included some of the most important values in life. But what matters the most is that love is that thing that keeps you alive and that if you find the right one, then you won the lottery 🙂

Have a fantastic week and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey 🙂

“Stay a little longer”

Today I will talk about one of the saddest parts of my life. And I hope that this will help someone who is going/went through the same thing.

I had the blessing to have the most amazing grandparents you can ever think. That type of elders like in the fairytales we grew up with: caring, loving, supportive, and the best cookers.

I lost my first grandpa when I was 8. Before going to school, my grandma called and said that he is gone. Although it hurt a lot, I was too little to understand the real deal. I only knew that he became my angel. The second one taught me the most important lesson of my life and the saddest at the same time. I was 20, studying abroad. It was time to go back to uni, and I went to say goodbye to them. I was coming back home in less than a month, so I didn’t stay too long then. For the first time in my life, my grandpa was begging me to stay a little more. Few more minutes. I was in such a rush that I didn’t couldn’t but promised him that I will be back soon and then I will stay longer for sure. And next time I did stay longer. At the cemetery. He died 2 weeks after I went back to uni. I wasn’t able to attend his funeral and didn’t have the chance to say a proper goodbye.
For 8 years I hated myself more than you can ever imagine. For being in a rush, for not staying with him longer, for not saying goodbye, for everything. I went through an unbelievable mental pain. I ended up with depression and panic attacks. But eventually, I started to heal and move on.

My grandma (his wife) is 84. And today, after years of being apart, her sons and her nephews gathered together around a big table, full of laughs and stories and memories and great food. At one point, she acted like she was saying goodbye to us. Not directly, but choosing the right words. I felt that completely. And she asked just for one thing: to stay a little longer. And this time, I stayed. We stayed for 7 hours (don’t know when the time passed). And we will meet again tomorrow. If she feels like this may the end for her, I want to make sure that she is loved and cared for.

We don’t know what life has in store for us. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone. So please do me a favor, guys. Next time you visit your elders, stay a little longer, and show them more love. Call them more often. You never know when it is the end. I would give years of my life for 5 more minutes with my grandfathers. But I can’t and it hurts. I took them for granted, so please don’t do the same mistake.

P.s. Love you lots, my angels…I wish you could’ve just stayed a little longer 😦

My life is not your pit stop.

Today is one of those blue days when you feel like a robot, doing what you have to do but feeling empty. The perfect setup for the memories to resurface.The sad ones, not the good ones. It is a day when you either go back in time and be with that specific person or wish to have a superpower to erase him from your mind.

Maybe schools should have a special course about human emotions and feelings. Perhaps like this, people will understand that these are not toys but things that could damage a person for a long time, sometimes forever. You’re not a better person or more interesting if you play with someone…quite the opposite. It only shows your lack of empathy, education, self-esteem, and mental stability. I am sick of people coming into others’ life just for fun…or for not feeling lonely. Mate, my life is not your pit stop. If you come into my life, stay. Or do not come at all. It is that easy. Don’t make me fall for you when you have someone else or are unsure about your feelings for me. Tell me straight what you want, games are for kids, we are adults.

Dating nowadays is an absolute joke. Trusting people becomes an impossible mission, and loyalty, well, I think that loyalty slowly but surely only becomes a word in the dictionary, nothing else. You never know what a person is going through, which demons she/he has to battle. So don’t make it worse. Due to one like you, she/he may lose an amazing person because they will think that everyone is like you, so what is the point of trying again? Sort out yourself first. If you aren’t happy with yourself, no one will ever make you. Seeking validation or love from others, but having nothing to give in return, will only show how little and pathetic you are as a human. And remember that what goes around always, but always come around. Good luck with that.

There is a saying: “Use objects, not people. Love people, not objects”. We should keep this in mind.

Online dating:biggest scam or best lesson?

Hello everybody! Today I want to talk about a topic that somehow affected my life lately. And I am sure I am not the only one.
Online dating started to gain more popularity, especially now, with this pandemic. People find it easier to get an idea of their possible partners on social media before meeting in person, which being honest, I find it pretty useful. However, the story changes when the reality has nothing to do with the “perfect picture/life shown online.” Because let’s be serious, all of us are trying to show and pretend to be the best on social media. I have been pretty lucky to meet some fantastic guys online that now I am blessed to call them my friends. But as every fairytale has its bad parts too, I had the bad luck to meet some people that received block immediately due to their way of talking. And the worst: been ghosted by guys that I caught feelings for, or found out that they were in other relationships.

Long story short, being a long-time single girl, I decided one night to reply on a social network app to a guy. Didn’t expect anything, so I just went with the flow. 5 hours lasted our first discussion. That type of discussion, that you never want to end. I felt such strong chemistry with that guy like I never felt before. Eventually, we talked daily, for hours. I went to bed and woke up with his texts. Days passed, and he became desperate to meet me, but not in my city. At the same time, he was avoiding letting me add him on Facebook which somehow raised a flag and made me think if he has something to hide. And he did. He was in a long-time relationship while trying to get me too. I confronted him, did not react, but at the same time, tried to get a date with me. He didn’t, and because of it, he stopped talking to me and unfollowed me on social media.

I start to believe that these apps are just a loss of time. It is like a lottery, but unfortunately, most of the time you lose, as some people are only looking to get laid and forget they know you after. So pay attention to the flags and what your intuition is telling you, cause you never know what you may end up with. It only may further decrease your self-esteem and may you question why weren’t you enough? Well, guess what? You were enough,they weren’t.

The darkest hour is just before the dawn…

For a very long period, I refused to believe this. When people are looking at you and treat you as a failure, your first reaction is to see only the dark side. No lights at the end, no stars, nothing. Plain darkness.

Have you ever been in a situation when you feel like you have no option, life purpose or hope? A moment when you feel like your life is ending although you are still young? Well, it happens to most of us at some point in our lives, even though we want to admit it or not. And having people judging or leaving you when you need them the most is not helping too much.

When you are unemployed for a long period (1 year+) due to various reasons, people don’t want to listen to your story but treat you as if you deserve anything good. As if you are a wreck. This includes family. It is awful to hear from you blood-related people remarks like: ” Oh noo. This is the end of your life.no one will hire you now. You lost it all”.Not even a cheering phrase or a good word. Nothing.

And then you have 2 choices: give up or move on and see what life has for you. In my case,I’ve decided to isolate myself from those toxic people and look for support and help in strangers. And I managed somehow to see a light. It is still a long way to go, but at least I am slowly moving. I started another blog (travel one), I am doing new courses and developing myself both personally and professionally, and helping others who were in my situation. More than my closest friends and my parents, no one knows what I am doing, because I stopped giving an explanation to anyone.

I had strangers helping me more than my own family. And I fought so much with myself that I am finally proud of myself. Life goes on, but you can’t ever forget who was truly next to you when you needed them. Those who believed in you, when you were at your lowest point.Family isn’t always blood.Family is made by those who truly love and care about you.

And remember that no matter what you are going through at the moment, there will always be a light at the “end of the tunnel”. And that the darkest hour is just before the dawn.

Dogs.The gift from heaven.

Hello everyone! Today is about a very dear subject of my life: dogs. It is about something that I call: the gift from heaven.

Since I was a toddler, I loved dogs. I remember that when we were seeing old ladies with cats, my friends were making fun of me that I will be an old lady with dogs :). Living in the city, but having relatives in the countryside, blessed me with many dogs. During school, I was having a friend with who I was going to feed the abandoned dogs with food stolen from home. I always wanted to have my own dog but my mom never wanted. Until one day.

It was the autumn of 2010. 15th of September 2010. We had a lot of discussions in the summer of that year about getting a dog. Both I and my father put a lot of pressure on my mom and in the end, she gave up. So that day, after school, we went to buy a dog. I was trembling when we got there. And the second I saw him, I knew he is the one. I didn’t anyone else, but him. Bijoux, Maltese Bichon, 6 weeks old. It was the moment when I felt what pure happiness meant. He was there and mine. After 18 years of waiting, I had my dog.

The years passed and day by day I am loving him with the same intensity as the first day. We have been through so many things together that it seems like a lifetime with him. The only thing that I hate the most is saying goodbye to him when I am going abroad. He goes into depression mood and it takes him a few days to recover although he is having my parents with him. But overall he is the most amazing dog I could’ve asked for.

There are people asking what is the purpose of the dog. I think one of the most beautiful definitions is given in the Family Guy’s episode “Brian & Stewie” when Brian says that he wanted to take his life for not having a purpose in life and Stewie says “maybe making someone else happy is enough, because it is the best gift one person can give.” This is the purpose of the dog. Giving you the most real love and loyal friendship that someone can give you without waiting for anything in return.

Dogs are a gift from heaven. A gift that sometimes we don’t appreciate at its fullest value. Either because we are tired, busy or too stressed we forgot to give them the same love they give to us. But no matter what, they are there. And looking at them and seeing that sparkle in the eyes and their happiness when they see you it makes you feel whole again. It gives you the feeling that you’re home, loved and cared for. And nothing else matters 🙂