It’s the first day of the rest of your life.

Today is the day when I give up on all the negativity in my life. And leave behind all the toxic people, drama, stupid games or negative thoughts which retained me be from fighting for my dreams. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Even though we don’t realize or don’t want to accept it, we do have toxic people around us. You can see them everywhere: family, friends, work. But what is most important is how you deal with them.

In my opinion, there are 3 types of toxic people:

-Narcissist: Imagine that you are dating a guy who tells you he is the best, does this and that, possess things that he doesn’t and is the perfect definition of arrogance. He wants everyone to admire him, yet he doesn’t care at all about others feeling. Is a selfish and cold person who loves to blame others for his problems. EVERY TIME.

-Mr. Know it All: Imagine being with a guy who tells you what to listen, what friends to have, what to watch and how to talk…..Is the intellectual type who believes he is the best and knows everything that suits everyone.Is the one who has a solution for everything, concerning him or not.

-Drama Queens: My last ex is exactly this type. And I think is the most toxic type. Imagine dating with a guy who always has a drama.ALWAYS.And when you try to change the topic and be more positive, the call you heartless. Throughout my relationship with him, I gave up on so many people and chances just because he made me feel so worthless. I got to the point when I was feeling his bad energy and almost be caught in his drama. And then I realized something was wrong.I broke up with him yesterday. I couldn’t carry on anymore. His reaction? He started to play the victim role and cursed and offended me big time. But at least it’s over. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. This was the last drop.

It is time to take back my life and my dreams and move on. These toxic people made me understand that I have myself. And this is the most important. From my experience, I am telling all of you who are going through the same things: Don’t stay in a toxic relationship. RUN as far as possible. Don’t let anyone put you down. You deserve better things and people who are really able to love you. And no matter what, keep fighting for your dreams. Let today be the first day of the rest of your life.

Depression. The silent criminal.

Today I am finally able to write and say the truth. The past 4 months had been hell. I really hope it is over now. Every month I had either bad news or lost someone. The last one? The guy that I was talking about in my gay post. He died last week… in a car accident. That was the last drop.

For the past 4 months, I had to play the role of a girl who smiled and be nice to others, but the demons inside me were slowing but surely,taking control of myself. It was hard to wake up and had insomnia, either didn’t want to eat or eat like crazy. Gave up on going outside and find pleasure in things that one day was making me happy. I isolated myself and the only relief I had was crying. I got almost to the point of being aggressive with my parents, told them that I hate them and don’t want them in my life anymore. Depression was taking over me.

When I started to understand what was going on, I slowly began to ask for help. One of my friends is a therapist and he immediately understood that something was wrong with me. He told me that I have to fight with myself. as depression is not curing itself. My answer? “You’re wrong. It can’t happen to me”. And yet ,it did. And that was the moment when I realised that I have some amazing people next to me. Even though they were in other cities or countries, they helped me to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is still hope. I learned to love myself again. And the biggest lesson of all was that if I don’t love myself, no one will do. Some of the people that I thought were my friends disappeared, but instead, people who I have never thought I will be friends with, prove themselves to be true friends.

I am still fighting, but I am getting there. Step by step, I am becoming a better person. The most frightening part is over. No more black thoughts, no more isolation. I went back to exercise and job hunting. I started to post on social media and went out with friends. Went for walks by myself. And read. A lot. This was really helpful.

What I am trying to say with this post is that depression can happen to anyone of us. Regardless of religion, race, color, nationality. And then is the moment when you have to choose what’s next. The end of the road or asking for help. The biggest advice I would give up is to don’t isolate from others. And don’t think you can cure it by yourself without any help.

Depression is not only affecting me or you. Is affecting millions of people worldwide. Some of them are ashamed to recognize it as they may be treated as mentally ill. When it comes to your life, don’t give a shit about what others have to tell you. Depression if not treated or at least dealt with, is like a silent criminal who is taking the life out of you.

Never lose hope. There is always light…a door….an escape. Fight with yourself and don’t give up. Tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning. And never forget that the people who truly love you will be there no matter what.

And don’t forget something: you are love and deserve the best.

Goodbye 26, welcome 27!

If I would have to describe how it felt being 26, the first thing coming to my mind would be: roller-coaster. It’s been one of the most interesting years of my life.

I had the chance to re-discover myself, set new boundaries and learn new things. I lied, I’ve been lied to, I loved,cried, laughed as tomorrow will never come again. I lost friends,some of them forever. But the most important thing that I learned,was to pay more attention to myself and my needs.

26 was the age when enough was enough. When the dreams were more important than what would people say. Was the moment when I stopped toxic relationships and regain control over myself.I am not old, I am not young. The inner child is still alive, but the mature side is also there.

Had the opportunity to travel and discover new places. To push my limits and reconsider what really matters in life.In the end, I realize that no matter how bad you want something, if it’s not for you, it won’t be.

Today I’m 27. New year, new start, new opportunities and challenges. I hope it will be better than the last one. With less fake people. More love, travel, good books,friends and family. With more positive experiences and life lessons.

And with more posts on this blog đŸ™‚ Yanny’s journey continues.

 

Is the customer always right?

Since I was a little kid, my parents took me on holidays and we were staying in the hotels. I always loved the way the staff was welcoming us and taking care of us. The time passed and I have decided to study Hospitality and Tourism Management.

And I was finally able to do what I loved in my childhood: work in hotels.My first job? Reception trainee in a hotel in Mallorca as part of my course. But the fairytale wasn’t one anymore. I had to discover step by step what I am supposed to do and how to deal with people.

And the rude customers appeared too. No matter how much I was trying to help them, some were sooo stubborn/unrealistic that there was no way to be able to satisfy their needs. But in the end there were coming to better terms after a proper discussion. Or a free drink. That placement helped to understand and get to read the people. I am able to feel them from the first sentence now. It is impossible to miss a compo(British saying for compensation) guest.

I went to work afterwards in UK. The challenge of my life. I’ve heard the most absurd requests (I will make a post only about stupid requests) and met types of people that I never want to see again. If in Mallorca I didn’t feel in danger not even for a second, in UK I gave up after I realised that the “guest is always right and is even allowed to attack you. You have to treat him well”. That was. I’ve been offended many times by customers for their own mistakes but the worst part was when one of them attacked me for nothing. He was angry that his sandwich wasn’t properly made so he decided to come in reception and throw on me his plate. The manager on duty decided to interfere but only to offer him compensation. Not for his staff. I got to the point when I was feeling sooo stressed and panicked before work that it was unbearable.

The point is : I have been in both positions -customer and worker. But no matter how much we want to be spoiled by the hotel staff let’s not forget that they also have feelings. And bad days. And to be honest, I don’t think that the customer is always right. I met high-class customers who were absolutely lovely and when they were mistaken, they were having the balls to say it. And let’s say not so well behaved customers who were treating staff like shit. Up to the point of physical violence( one of my colleagues been through that). So what for??? Are you right for what??? I totally understand when you do have a real problem to ask for a solution or compensation. But when you always want free stuff or just to show what a jerk you are, no mate you are not right.

So let’s be nicer to each other and treat the way we want to be treated.

“Drugs destroyed my life”

I needed to take some time off from everything. The past month was a huge life lesson. A lesson that thought me how a single moment can destroy your life.

How it all started ? Like this. I had a childhood friend:very nice, well-behaved guy. He was able to move the mountains for his dreams. His family situation was never Ok, but he never stopped fighting for himself and his grandma who raised him.(his parents are divorced and he loved to stay more with his grandma due to a home situation).

Our roads separated when we moved to different countries. He was working in popular restaurants and had a dream to win a cooking contest. He did it. And that was the moment which changed his life. He won an important amount of money and was having a lot of plans.The last time I met him was 4 years ago after he won it. He told me about what he wants to do further and was very happy. But after one year, he moved back in Romania and entered an entourage which literally destroyed him. He changed completely towards everyone and forgot about his hometown friends. I tried to contact him several times, with no outcome… Little we or his family knew that in his entourage, drugs were an ordinary thing đŸ˜¦

Last year, his grandma died. It was the “end” of his life and his career. During his funeral, he was on drugs, but no one knew. He attacked a beggar, but people thought it was due to his sorrow caused by the loss. His father took him home and he jumped on the window to escape. That night, he killed a woman. A stranger.He hit her with extreme aggressivity until she died… The last month was his trial. He received 10 years of prison. His last words when he said goodbye to us were”Drugs destroyed my life”

Guys, I had known and still know people dealing with drug addiction. I lost friends (took their lives) because of this. The reasons for using drugs? Mainly entourage.They don’t want to look stupid in front of their friends. Or family problems.

Please ask for help. Drugs are not healing, are destroying:dreams. lives, families, EVERYTHING. One single moment destroyed my friend’s life. Only one. He can’t remember how he hit her or how he fell asleep next to her. The only thing he remembers is that while he was drugged, he had the impression that demons are following him.

Drug addiction can be healed. In time and with specialist support, there is a way to give up. Just try. Don’t leave drugs to destroy your life too. If not for you, do for the people you love and for the dreams you have. And remember that the night is the darkest before the dawn. There is always hope.

What will people say?

Choices. Every day you must choose: from basic things (food,clothes ,etc) to major decisions. Sometimes is easy, sometimes is not. There are times when a choice can forever affect your life. Especially those made to please the others.

I.personally made some bad choices throughout my life.I had moments when I wanted to give up on everything :including my life.Then I realised that the only one who can change anything is me. Sometimes it seems we only have two choices:to choose the easy way or to give up. No efforts, no middle way,nothing. This giving up thing and the easy way are only results of our low self-confidence. We don’t trust ourselves. And most of the time, I hear “what will people say if I do that/love that person?” For 20 years, I lived with this . Gave up on people I loved and on my dreams because the ones around me were controlling my life and decided for me. Up to a point.

We must wake up and understand that we only have one life. The world is not taking care of us, be with us when we feel alone. It’s in our power to draw the lines of our life the way we want. Our parents lived their life the way they wanted. Times are changing. We are changing.Stand up for yourself and live the life you always dreamed of. Let the people talk, they will never shut up. But your own happiness and your true love is a one-way only ticket. If you lose it, it won’t come back.

So what do you choose? Live with the world? Care about what will they say? Or be happy?

8e2a7320280ac7d5a0b0374811bbae44

Why do we play with feelings?

Yesterday I was with some friends celebrating a name anniversary.And we started to talk about relationships. One of the girls had a similar experience, with the difference that her guy never ever try to maintain contact with her. My ex called me first thing at midnight on New Year’s night. Acting like nothing happened. He continued to check all my Whatsapp statuses and liking everything I post on social media. Furthermore, he was one of the first people to contact me when he found out about the death of my friend.

What is it going on with him? Dumping me for his ex but being only with his friends on New Year’s party and sending me messages? I tried to answer only basic things but I wanted to ask him soo many things. It’s been more than 2 weeks but I still miss him. However,I chose to continue with no-contact strategy.

Why do we prefer to play with other’s feelings? Due to confusion? Preferring someone that we already know but running after others? Is it helping our ego to know that there are more people wanting us? In this case, he definitely doesn’t know what he wants. Or maybe he does but he is playing. It’s really stupid doing this especially to people that are really nice and don’t deserve this at all. My grandfather told me when I was a kid that the most important in a relationship is to treat your partner as you want to be treated. Love and give. Don’t expect the moon from him but from your part give everything.

But what happens when you give everything and not receive the same? Is it enough for a person to love and care for 2? Is it fair for someone to don’t receive everything from his/her partner just because they are a couple?

We all deserve to love and be loved. To be cared for and appreciated. I have learned that I am just losing my time waiting for someone who will never give me 100%. There are 7+ billion people in this world. Our soul-mate is definitely somewhere. Be patient and hope. And love those who really matter.

mahatmagandhi1