Expectations vs reality

Hello!! I hope you are all well and enjoying this time. As we have 5 days left this year, I wanted to share a lesson with you. How expectations create a toxic environment and affect our lives.

How many times in this life you didn’t expect someone to do something? It doesn’t matter if personally or professionally, but it is in our human nature to do so. What we don’t understand is that expectations are seriously affecting our mental health as most of them are not achievable. The worst part comes when you are in a relationship, and you expect so many things from your partner that you forget to differentiate imaginary from reality.

Just because you are kind to people, or show care and love, it doesn’t mean that they feel the same. Unfortunately, nowadays, people are nice to you as long as they can get what they want from you. After, they will treat you as you never existed in their lives. Stop believing that expecting something from someone will automatically become reality. People behave as they want, regardless of how you feel about it. However, in the long term run, you may suffer a lot. More than you can believe. When you stop expecting, you start realizing a person’s true colors. You want to be good and help? Go ahead. But don’t expect something in return. Some people have absolutely nothing to give(and I am not talking about financial stuff). Some know only to receive, never to give.

I learned this the hard way. I had expectations from people that I would have given me life for. Guess what? They turned up to be the worst people in my life. And people that I didn’t expect anything from, ended up being very important in my life. Do you want to expect something from someone? Then raise your expectations from yourself. Have more expectations from yourself as a person, professional, friend, everything. The biggest expectation that you should have in this life is to improve your life by believing more that you can do anything you want. Don’t expect changes or love or care or anything from others. Do it with yourself first. And you will see the difference. Love you all! 🙂

So this is Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!!! Our first pandemic Christmas. Who would have thought? I am used to writing happy and positive posts about Christmas, but as the times are tough and this year was pretty crazy (and not in a good way), today I feel the need to talk from my heart.

This Christmas is special. And it should be a moment for us to look within ourselves and see what needs to be changed or improved. Christmas is not only about presents but also about love, compassion, and care for each other. You may be miles away from your family, friends, loved ones. You may be single or married, happy, or in a bad state of mind. But one thing is for sure. You are not alone. For some, it may be a difficult time, especially with the pandemic. But this should pass too. And hopefully, we will be back to normal. But until then, take this Christmas to appreciate what you have. Be grateful for who you are. And if you are with your family at the moment, show them more love. Laugh, eat, drink, do whatever you want. Forget for a moment about the bad part of life. Take a deeper look at the right one. Send a message, give a call to someone you didn’t talk to for a long time. You never know how much this means for them.

And if you are alone, don’t despair. I know and completely understand how bad it feels especially during the winter holidays. But the things will get better. I promise. It always does.

This Christmas is a little different for me. Because it is for the first time when I am breaking the traditions and just have some time with my dog, my parents, and my closest relatives. But talking to my dearest people (not only family but friends too) made me realize that the magic of Christmas is about spirituality and getting closer to the ones you love. And although it sounds like a cliche, it is about becoming a better person:)

We dream, we hope, we pray for better days.

This is a lyric from Faydee’s song “Better days”. A song that somehow describes this year. How many times you didn’t hear this year things like: “We hope for better”, “2020 should be canceled”, “worst year ever”? Let’s take a moment and think. For each of us, this year was a huge challenge. No one will say otherwise. We are all survivors of a pandemic. Nobody knew what this is or how to deal with it. But stop for a moment and breathe. Take a deep breath and look behind.

Take the pandemic aside and look at every month and how it affected your life. Some of you may have lost someone, a job, a relationship, whatever. But now you are reading this. You are stronger than you can imagine, and I am so proud of you. You did it. It is almost December, and 2020 is only 33 days away from ending.

To be honest, 2020 was a rebirth. A reset to the “factory settings”. We were too hurried, too focused on stupid things. 2020 was a lesson. A hard pill to swallow, but something that believe it or not changed us completely.

It proved that tomorrow is not guaranteed, that expensive possessions mean nothing if you don’t have where to show them, and that the people we treated as ordinary played the most crucial role in the pandemic. It showed the true colors of people, proved that family is not always blood and that you can have everything you can imagine. If you are not healthy, it means nothing. In my opinion, life after a pandemic will never be the same as before. Because there is a new version of everyone right now. Society is continually changing.

What will be next, no one can say. The only thing we can do is to dream, hope, and pray for better days. Love you all! 🙂

“Stay a little longer”

Today I will talk about one of the saddest parts of my life. And I hope that this will help someone who is going/went through the same thing.

I had the blessing to have the most amazing grandparents you can ever think. That type of elders like in the fairytales we grew up with: caring, loving, supportive, and the best cookers.

I lost my first grandpa when I was 8. Before going to school, my grandma called and said that he is gone. Although it hurt a lot, I was too little to understand the real deal. I only knew that he became my angel. The second one taught me the most important lesson of my life and the saddest at the same time. I was 20, studying abroad. It was time to go back to uni, and I went to say goodbye to them. I was coming back home in less than a month, so I didn’t stay too long then. For the first time in my life, my grandpa was begging me to stay a little more. Few more minutes. I was in such a rush that I didn’t couldn’t but promised him that I will be back soon and then I will stay longer for sure. And next time I did stay longer. At the cemetery. He died 2 weeks after I went back to uni. I wasn’t able to attend his funeral and didn’t have the chance to say a proper goodbye.
For 8 years I hated myself more than you can ever imagine. For being in a rush, for not staying with him longer, for not saying goodbye, for everything. I went through an unbelievable mental pain. I ended up with depression and panic attacks. But eventually, I started to heal and move on.

My grandma (his wife) is 84. And today, after years of being apart, her sons and her nephews gathered together around a big table, full of laughs and stories and memories and great food. At one point, she acted like she was saying goodbye to us. Not directly, but choosing the right words. I felt that completely. And she asked just for one thing: to stay a little longer. And this time, I stayed. We stayed for 7 hours (don’t know when the time passed). And we will meet again tomorrow. If she feels like this may the end for her, I want to make sure that she is loved and cared for.

We don’t know what life has in store for us. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone. So please do me a favor, guys. Next time you visit your elders, stay a little longer, and show them more love. Call them more often. You never know when it is the end. I would give years of my life for 5 more minutes with my grandfathers. But I can’t and it hurts. I took them for granted, so please don’t do the same mistake.

P.s. Love you lots, my angels…I wish you could’ve just stayed a little longer 😦

“If you focus on yourself,your ex will be back”

It is the title of a magazine that I saw today. I am sure that you know this statement very well, especially if you have been through a bad heartbreak. Everyone says the same: “Oh, do yourself, and when they will see you glowing, they will be back.” Really? It is so easy to say, but so hard to do it.
Ok, fair enough, you pay more attention to you, go shopping, change your appearance, but mentally? When mentally you are out of order, how can you focus on yourself? Have you ever appeared strong and acted like you moved on in front of your friends and family, but while you were alone, you were crying yourself to sleep? Ever felt like one moment you weren’t good enough for that person and the next one you would move mountains for them to come back? How can you focus on yourself, when you finally feel like you are healing, and it’s enough to hear a song or have a flashback, and you are into pieces again? Everyone thinks that if you appear happy, you moved on. Nope, some just learned how to hide the pain very well.

Let me tell you something that may be disturbing to you. That title is a huge BS. Why? Because when you focus on yourself and healing, you won’t need your ex back. You will understand that you deserve the best. And your ex is not. Your ex is just a lesson and a part of your PAST. You will accept that having your ex back is like reading the same book but expecting the end to be different.

If you want to focus on yourself, do it for your own good. Not for anyone else. No one truly knows what battles you are having inside or how hard it is to move on when the pain is excruciating. And remember one thing: someone who truly cares and loves you would never let anything or anyone to affect your relationship.

When a stranger gives you the best lesson.

“I worked in the hospitality industry for three years. And this gave me the chance to meet some great people with whom I am still friends today. One of them is my ex operations manager. The person who tried to change my life while I was working with him, but I refused and learned the lessons he was trying to give me the hard way.

I was a very arrogant but at the same time depressed girl. The type who wants to change the world, but not today. I wasn’t saw anything positive, always complaining about everything. And in the end, after several times of threatening of living, I finally did. But before that, my ex-manager wanted to give me another chance and had a soul-to-soul discussion about being more positive and open to opportunities. I heard what he had to say, but didn’t pay too much attention to put it into practice.

I went back home, ended up unemployed and in the wrongest relationship of my life. The result? A depression that almost drove me to suicide, more toxic people, and a complete lack of sense in my life. And then is when I remembered that discussion, and realized that the problem was no one but myself. My life, my decisions, my results.

So I started to read personal development books, meditate, did courses and met new people and made new friends. And then came the biggest test: a new relationship. I’ve met someone amazing on the internet and thought he was the one…but after a month I found out that he was in a 6 years long-distance relationship. And then is when I understood that I was finally healed from the past and stronger than I thought. I left him but compared to my previous relationship, this time I knew how to deal with the situation and show more love and respect for myself.

And the most beautiful thing this taught me is that I am ENOUGH. It’s fantastic to have people who truly care and love you, but if you are not OK with yourself, you will never be happy. So cherish yourself more than anything else”

Hello everybody! This is an email that I received from a girl who wants to tell you her story. About how in life, you should receive the help and support at the right time and not wait until you are on the edge of life.

“I worked in the hospitality industry for three years. And this gave me the chance to meet some great people with whom I am still friends today. One of them is my ex operations manager. The person who tried to change my life while I was working with him, but I refused and learned the lessons he was trying to give me the hard way.

I was a very arrogant but at the same time depressed girl. The type who wants to change the world, but not today. I wasn’t saw anything positive, always complaining about everything. And in the end, after several times of threatening of living, I finally did. But before that, my ex-manager wanted to give me another chance and had a soul-to-soul discussion about being more positive and open to opportunities. I heard what he had to say, but didn’t pay too much attention to put it into practice.

I went back home, ended up unemployed and in the wrongest relationship of my life. The result? A depression that almost drove me to suicide, more toxic people, and a complete lack of sense in my life. And then is when I remembered that discussion, and realized that the problem was no one but myself. My life, my decisions, my results.

So I started to read personal development books, meditate, did courses and met new people and made new friends. And then came the biggest test: a new relationship. I’ve met someone amazing on the internet and thought he was the one…but after a month I found out that he was in a 6 years long-distance relationship. And then is when I understood that I was finally healed from the past and stronger than I thought. I left him but compared to my previous relationship, this time I knew how to deal with the situation and show more love and respect for myself.

And the most beautiful thing this taught me is that I am ENOUGH. It’s fantastic to have people who truly care and love you, but if you are not OK with yourself, you will never be happy. So cherish yourself more than anything else”

A toxic relationship:the worst nightmare.

Hello everybody! For the past few days, I had this topic in mind, trying to decide if I should write about it or not. And here we are.

This post is a true story that I hope will help others who are in the same situation. There comes a moment in your life when you fall in love with the wrongest person. You know, that type of relationship who takes everything and sometimes, everyone from you, but gives nothing instead. The relationship that makes you feel worthless, incomplete, and a total wreck.

Well, the wounds left after you break up with your toxic partner are extremely hard to heal. The mental and physical pain is so hard to deal with. It feels like you have no life left inside and have no clue how to go back to your life, the one before this nightmare.

And when you think that you healed and ready to move on, someone appears in your life. A handsome, well-educated, and sexy as hell man. The type of guy with whom you speak until 3 am and feel like it’s been a 30 minutes discussion and not 5 hours one. And he sees through you, your rawest side, the one completely naked (and not talking about clothes). And at that moment, the triggers start: The comparison with the toxic ex begins, bringing back memories and wounds that you project onto the new guy. And you start to question every little thing he says or does. You want him, but at the same time, you are scared as hell.

And then one night, he disappears without saying anything. And then the worst scenario comes to your mind: you have been ghosted again. He abandoned you too. And your anxiety, overthinking, and everything else hits again. Stronger than ever. Because you realize that you had a chance with a great guy and you lost it. But he comes back. Just had an emergency….. And then is the moment when you realize that you fell for him. But what do you do when the fear of the past, still plays you? Do you fight to open up and gain a chance to be happy? Or do you lose the guy, give in to the ghost of the past and live a miserable life?

Maybe life gives you a real chance to happiness or another lesson. No one knows but as Eminem’s song says :
“Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?”

The decision belongs to each one of us. Let’s just make it the right way. Love you all and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey.

Top 3 ways to improve your inner happiness.

In a crazy period like this, it is almost impossible to find inner peace, let alone happiness. But we are humans and we need that state of mind to survive what is next. Therefore, this post is about how to improve and maintain your inner happiness.
This pandemic showed us that, at the end of the day it is just us and ourselves. And that we can’t rely our happiness on anyone else, as otherwise, in times like this, we would be going down for sure. This is why today I will present you top 3 ways to improve your inner happiness. So let’s get started.

Number 1: Recreate the bound with yourself

Although we don’t realize it, we have a very special relationship with our body and soul. We just have to listen to it. Pay attention to the signals, your body gives you and how are you feeling mentally. Take a look in the mirror and see how much you have changed or see the things you may want to change. (I am not talking about plastic surgeries or things that may affect your health). I am referring to the things that may make you feel better.

Number 2: Listen to your heart…and brain

Running to please the people and show how amazing we are seemed to be a national sport before this pandemic. Everyone showing their best clothes, cars, jewelry, and everything material they had. Well, what happened when this nightmare started? They lost their popularity as they didn’t have anything left to show. As they were “full ” outside, but empty inside. This is why number 2 is about feeding your heart and brain. Improve yourself spiritually. And it is not on the religious side. Nope.

-Read a book.
-Meditate.
-Pray (if you want).
-Learn a new skill.
-Call your family/friends/someone close (have a soulful talk).
-Play with your pet(if you have any).
-Create a journal/plan about what you want to do next and stick to it.
-Create a unique challenge. For example, I challenge myself to don’t pass a day without learning something new: a word, a notion, whatever. But learn.
-Do that hobby that you loved but you left it due to the lack of time.
-Start following your dreams.

Number 3: Leave the world to follow its path


There is a saying:” When the past becomes your present, you lose the future”. Read this again and decide what do you want. Stay in the past or live in the present and create your future? I am honestly telling you from my experience. When you think too much about the past, you are not only losing days of your life for nothing but also ruin your future. We should think of the past as a football game. A game that happened yesterday and that is over. Why do you want to replay the same game over and over again? Regain control over your present and create new games. Better games. Because at the end of the game called life, you do not want to be the loser…you want to be the champion.

To summarize all of the above, to find and improve inner happiness is easy. It just requires a little bit of daily time for yourself, discipline, and courage to become a better version of yourself.

Stop running. Start living.

We are used to running. And I am not talking about sport. I am talking about running for money, for things, happiness, everything. But we forget we are running out of time. We do not know where is the finish line. No one knows. However, in this marathon, we forget to live. And breathe.

Take a moment to breathe. Just do it. And think of when was the last time you had a break. Not the typical work break, but a break for your soul. A break to do what you always wanted to do, but didn’t have time as you were busier to run.

This virus is more than a disease. It is a “tool” to give us a reset. To remember what are the most important things. I have decided to stay at home. Go back to my parents and stay with them and my dog for 2 weeks at least. And believe me that I feel as if I am a child again. I have the chance to get some time with them again without being pressured by the fact that I have work to do or I am too busy to talk to them. Nope. I am cooking with my mom, enjoying a glass of wine with my father while we remember the old times and spend quality time with my dog. Reconnecting with them and myself. I have plenty of time to call my grandmothers and make sure they are ok, taking care of the plants, doing the courses I wanted and even writing on the blog.

We are so consumed by the work and everyday stress that we forget that our emotions dictate time, not clocks. This is our time to look next to us and within us and appreciate what we have. Now we can reflect on ourselves, enjoy the moment, manifest and let go of all the negative emotions we’ve carried with us for a long time. Due to everything stopping/ being closed, the planet is healing. It is our time to heal too.

So what are you waiting for? Staying at home is not that bad. Not on this occasion. Grab a book, watch a movie, cook something new. Do a change in your house. Mediate and manifest. Call your parents and grandparents. Make them happy. Listen to your soul and do something for it.

Maybe after all of this panic will end and the things will come back to normal, you will get back to your stress and worries. Or maybe, this quarantine will help to understand yourself better and make a difference to what it really matters.

Give it a shot. Stay at home. You are not only helping you but others too. And start living 🙂

The darkest hour is just before the dawn…

For a very long period, I refused to believe this. When people are looking at you and treat you as a failure, your first reaction is to see only the dark side. No lights at the end, no stars, nothing. Plain darkness.

Have you ever been in a situation when you feel like you have no option, life purpose or hope? A moment when you feel like your life is ending although you are still young? Well, it happens to most of us at some point in our lives, even though we want to admit it or not. And having people judging or leaving you when you need them the most is not helping too much.

When you are unemployed for a long period (1 year+) due to various reasons, people don’t want to listen to your story but treat you as if you deserve anything good. As if you are a wreck. This includes family. It is awful to hear from you blood-related people remarks like: ” Oh noo. This is the end of your life.no one will hire you now. You lost it all”.Not even a cheering phrase or a good word. Nothing.

And then you have 2 choices: give up or move on and see what life has for you. In my case,I’ve decided to isolate myself from those toxic people and look for support and help in strangers. And I managed somehow to see a light. It is still a long way to go, but at least I am slowly moving. I started another blog (travel one), I am doing new courses and developing myself both personally and professionally, and helping others who were in my situation. More than my closest friends and my parents, no one knows what I am doing, because I stopped giving an explanation to anyone.

I had strangers helping me more than my own family. And I fought so much with myself that I am finally proud of myself. Life goes on, but you can’t ever forget who was truly next to you when you needed them. Those who believed in you, when you were at your lowest point.Family isn’t always blood.Family is made by those who truly love and care about you.

And remember that no matter what you are going through at the moment, there will always be a light at the “end of the tunnel”. And that the darkest hour is just before the dawn.