Goodbye 26, welcome 27!

If I would have to describe how it felt being 26, the first thing coming to my mind would be: roller-coaster. It’s been one of the most interesting years of my life.

I had the chance to re-discover myself, set new boundaries and learn new things. I lied, I’ve been lied to, I loved,cried, laughed as tomorrow will never come again. I lost friends,some of them forever. But the most important thing that I learned,was to pay more attention to myself and my needs.

26 was the age when enough was enough. When the dreams were more important than what would people say. Was the moment when I stopped toxic relationships and regain control over myself.I am not old, I am not young. The inner child is still alive, but the mature side is also there.

Had the opportunity to travel and discover new places. To push my limits and reconsider what really matters in life.In the end, I realize that no matter how bad you want something, if it’s not for you, it won’t be.

Today I’m 27. New year, new start, new opportunities and challenges. I hope it will be better than the last one. With less fake people. More love, travel, good books,friends and family. With more positive experiences and life lessons.

And with more posts on this blog 🙂 Yanny’s journey continues.

 

Is the customer always right?

Since I was a little kid, my parents took me on holidays and we were staying in the hotels. I always loved the way the staff was welcoming us and taking care of us. The time passed and I have decided to study Hospitality and Tourism Management.

And I was finally able to do what I loved in my childhood: work in hotels.My first job? Reception trainee in a hotel in Mallorca as part of my course. But the fairytale wasn’t one anymore. I had to discover step by step what I am supposed to do and how to deal with people.

And the rude customers appeared too. No matter how much I was trying to help them, some were sooo stubborn/unrealistic that there was no way to be able to satisfy their needs. But in the end there were coming to better terms after a proper discussion. Or a free drink. That placement helped to understand and get to read the people. I am able to feel them from the first sentence now. It is impossible to miss a compo(British saying for compensation) guest.

I went to work afterwards in UK. The challenge of my life. I’ve heard the most absurd requests (I will make a post only about stupid requests) and met types of people that I never want to see again. If in Mallorca I didn’t feel in danger not even for a second, in UK I gave up after I realised that the “guest is always right and is even allowed to attack you. You have to treat him well”. That was. I’ve been offended many times by customers for their own mistakes but the worst part was when one of them attacked me for nothing. He was angry that his sandwich wasn’t properly made so he decided to come in reception and throw on me his plate. The manager on duty decided to interfere but only to offer him compensation. Not for his staff. I got to the point when I was feeling sooo stressed and panicked before work that it was unbearable.

The point is : I have been in both positions -customer and worker. But no matter how much we want to be spoiled by the hotel staff let’s not forget that they also have feelings. And bad days. And to be honest, I don’t think that the customer is always right. I met high-class customers who were absolutely lovely and when they were mistaken, they were having the balls to say it. And let’s say not so well behaved customers who were treating staff like shit. Up to the point of physical violence( one of my colleagues been through that). So what for??? Are you right for what??? I totally understand when you do have a real problem to ask for a solution or compensation. But when you always want free stuff or just to show what a jerk you are, no mate you are not right.

So let’s be nicer to each other and treat the way we want to be treated.

“Drugs destroyed my life”

I needed to take some time off from everything. The past month was a huge life lesson. A lesson that thought me how a single moment can destroy your life.

How it all started ? Like this. I had a childhood friend:very nice, well-behaved guy. He was able to move the mountains for his dreams. His family situation was never Ok, but he never stopped fighting for himself and his grandma who raised him.(his parents are divorced and he loved to stay more with his grandma due to a home situation).

Our roads separated when we moved to different countries. He was working in popular restaurants and had a dream to win a cooking contest. He did it. And that was the moment which changed his life. He won an important amount of money and was having a lot of plans.The last time I met him was 4 years ago after he won it. He told me about what he wants to do further and was very happy. But after one year, he moved back in Romania and entered an entourage which literally destroyed him. He changed completely towards everyone and forgot about his hometown friends. I tried to contact him several times, with no outcome… Little we or his family knew that in his entourage, drugs were an ordinary thing 😦

Last year, his grandma died. It was the “end” of his life and his career. During his funeral, he was on drugs, but no one knew. He attacked a beggar, but people thought it was due to his sorrow caused by the loss. His father took him home and he jumped on the window to escape. That night, he killed a woman. A stranger.He hit her with extreme aggressivity until she died… The last month was his trial. He received 10 years of prison. His last words when he said goodbye to us were”Drugs destroyed my life”

Guys, I had known and still know people dealing with drug addiction. I lost friends (took their lives) because of this. The reasons for using drugs? Mainly entourage.They don’t want to look stupid in front of their friends. Or family problems.

Please ask for help. Drugs are not healing, are destroying:dreams. lives, families, EVERYTHING. One single moment destroyed my friend’s life. Only one. He can’t remember how he hit her or how he fell asleep next to her. The only thing he remembers is that while he was drugged, he had the impression that demons are following him.

Drug addiction can be healed. In time and with specialist support, there is a way to give up. Just try. Don’t leave drugs to destroy your life too. If not for you, do for the people you love and for the dreams you have. And remember that the night is the darkest before the dawn. There is always hope.

What will people say?

Choices. Every day you must choose: from basic things (food,clothes ,etc) to major decisions. Sometimes is easy, sometimes is not. There are times when a choice can forever affect your life. Especially those made to please the others.

I.personally made some bad choices throughout my life.I had moments when I wanted to give up on everything :including my life.Then I realised that the only one who can change anything is me. Sometimes it seems we only have two choices:to choose the easy way or to give up. No efforts, no middle way,nothing. This giving up thing and the easy way are only results of our low self-confidence. We don’t trust ourselves. And most of the time, I hear “what will people say if I do that/love that person?” For 20 years, I lived with this . Gave up on people I loved and on my dreams because the ones around me were controlling my life and decided for me. Up to a point.

We must wake up and understand that we only have one life. The world is not taking care of us, be with us when we feel alone. It’s in our power to draw the lines of our life the way we want. Our parents lived their life the way they wanted. Times are changing. We are changing.Stand up for yourself and live the life you always dreamed of. Let the people talk, they will never shut up. But your own happiness and your true love is a one-way only ticket. If you lose it, it won’t come back.

So what do you choose? Live with the world? Care about what will they say? Or be happy?

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Do you want to go to study in the UK?Then you must read this (part 1 of 3)

Hello again. Today is about one of the best chapters of my life : being a university student in the UK. This post will have 3 parts as there are a lot of things to talk about.Therefore, the first part will be about the process and the first day in the UK, the second one about the university system and the 3 about student life and pros and cons of being a student in the United Kingdom.

But let’s get started. It all started in the autumn of 2010. At that moment, in my country, there weren’t too many people willing to study abroad. Most of them were either preferring to continue the studies in their country or don’t do a university course at all.This was not applying for myself too. I have always dreamed to study something related to tourism as since I was a kid , I wanted to travel and see the world. But the problem was that in my country couldn’t find any good university major related to tourism. One of my father’s friends was having a daughter in the UK so I have decided to contact her and see if it’s worth to apply for British Universities. After the discussion with her, something told me that soon enough I will be moving abroad.

I started to apply through UCAS and been accepted to 3 universities. One of them had an industrial placement for a year too.Hospitality and Tourism Management and 1 year of practice!!!! Words can’t explain the happiness I felt then. My dream came true. I had to pass an IELTS test with a minimum of 6 and had to have 8 in my Baccalaureate exam. I have passed them both with a higher degree than requested. There was nothing holding me back anymore.

In August I have received the enrollment papers and all the dates regarding enrollment and induction. On 23 September I left my country. This is the worst part.Imagine a 19 years old with 3 pieces of luggage, for the first time being separated from her parents and dog. I didn’t want anyone to come with me as I knew there may be a possibility to give up and come back. So I left the country by myself. I remember when I arrived in Luton, I was so lost and I would say scared that one flight attendant who saw me (can’t remember the name of the company)took me to the coach station and stayed with me until the coach came. The journey between Luton and Birmingham seemed endless.

When I arrived in Bham it was pouring.Everything seemed so sad. Or maybe it was just me. I eventually arrived at the campus and checked in. When I went to my room, 2 guys came and helped me with the luggage.One of them is still my friend :).Only after I  entered the room it hit me. I was alone. All by myself in a foreign country. Knowing no one. And as a “bonus” the Internet wasn’t working that day and my phone had a trouble with the roaming. I don’t think anyone can imagine the mental pain that I had to deal with that day. It was terrible. My dream came true but I was distraught.

After the phone started working,I called my mom and told her to tell my father to come and take me home. I didn’t want to stay there anymore. I didn’t care about the university anymore. I just wanted back home. Eventually, I fell asleep. Crying.Been woken up at 3 am by my neighbors who found out that there was a new girl in the flat and had to go and drink with them. My eyes were red and swollen. The last thing I needed was a drink. I refused them politely and fell asleep again. That morning was the one that changed everything. (part 2 coming soon)

Why do we play with feelings?

Yesterday I was with some friends celebrating a name anniversary.And we started to talk about relationships. One of the girls had a similar experience, with the difference that her guy never ever try to maintain contact with her. My ex called me first thing at midnight on New Year’s night. Acting like nothing happened. He continued to check all my Whatsapp statuses and liking everything I post on social media. Furthermore, he was one of the first people to contact me when he found out about the death of my friend.

What is it going on with him? Dumping me for his ex but being only with his friends on New Year’s party and sending me messages? I tried to answer only basic things but I wanted to ask him soo many things. It’s been more than 2 weeks but I still miss him. However,I chose to continue with no-contact strategy.

Why do we prefer to play with other’s feelings? Due to confusion? Preferring someone that we already know but running after others? Is it helping our ego to know that there are more people wanting us? In this case, he definitely doesn’t know what he wants. Or maybe he does but he is playing. It’s really stupid doing this especially to people that are really nice and don’t deserve this at all. My grandfather told me when I was a kid that the most important in a relationship is to treat your partner as you want to be treated. Love and give. Don’t expect the moon from him but from your part give everything.

But what happens when you give everything and not receive the same? Is it enough for a person to love and care for 2? Is it fair for someone to don’t receive everything from his/her partner just because they are a couple?

We all deserve to love and be loved. To be cared for and appreciated. I have learned that I am just losing my time waiting for someone who will never give me 100%. There are 7+ billion people in this world. Our soul-mate is definitely somewhere. Be patient and hope. And love those who really matter.

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If tomorrow never comes.

One of the best things about working in the hospitality industry is that you get to know people. Not only customers. They are coming and going. But you get to work in a team that if you are lucky enough can become like your family.

I had the chance to be part of 2 amazing teams. With most of my ex-colleagues I am still afriend and talk anytime we have the chance. During my last job, I had the opportunity to meet one of the nicest and funniest people ever. His name was Paul. I have never , ever seen him angry or sad. Or saying no to helping others. He was always there, anytime we were calling him he was coming and help. I’ve been blessed to work many shifts together and he taught me a lot of things. Both personal and professional. Such a lovely, funny and smiley person. Last time I talked to him was a couple months ago. He was happy, telling me about his family. His wife, children and granddaughter were his weak point. He was absolutely over heels when was talking about them.

Last night, I have received a message. It was from one of my ex-colleagues. “Paul went for a run and suffered a heart attack. He died” . WHATTTTT????????? Whooooo?????? I didn’t believe it for a second. I called my ex-manager. She was crying. Paul was dead. Our lovely man is not with us anymore. At that moment I hated myself. I have said so many times that I will call him or at least text to check on him. But always something came up and forgot about it. Now I can’t call him anymore…

The same happened with one of my grandfathers few years ago. I was getting ready to fly back abroad, as the holiday was over and had to get back to uni. I quickly went to say goodbye to him and my grandmother. Although he asked me to stay a little longer, that day I didn’t do it. I told him I was going to see him in the next holiday. Kissed and hugged both of them and went home. Didn’t think about it anymore. 2 weeks later, I dreamed of him. He was saying goodbye. The next morning he was found dead in the hospital. I didn’t have the chance to attend his funeral and say goodbye. 7 years later, I still feel guilty and it hurts that in that day I didn’t stay longer. Regrets are worthless now. It won’t bring anyone back.

The aim of this is to understand that we should appreciate more the people we have next to us. Call them more often, text and see how are they doing. Value them more when they are alive and not regretting after. It is enough a moment. To lose all. Maybe they are now in a better place. But we are left with wounds. Some goes with the time .Others stay there forever.

But what if tomorrow never comes?

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