What will people say?

Choices. Every day you must choose: from basic things (food,clothes ,etc) to major decisions. Sometimes is easy, sometimes is not. There are times when a choice can forever affect your life. Especially those made to please the others.

I.personally made some bad choices throughout my life.I had moments when I wanted to give up on everything :including my life.Then I realised that the only one who can change anything is me. Sometimes it seems we only have two choices:to choose the easy way or to give up. No efforts, no middle way,nothing. This giving up thing and the easy way are only results of our low self-confidence. We don’t trust ourselves. And most of the time, I hear “what will people say if I do that/love that person?” For 20 years, I lived with this . Gave up on people I loved and on my dreams because the ones around me were controlling my life and decided for me. Up to a point.

We must wake up and understand that we only have one life. The world is not taking care of us, be with us when we feel alone. It’s in our power to draw the lines of our life the way we want. Our parents lived their life the way they wanted. Times are changing. We are changing.Stand up for yourself and live the life you always dreamed of. Let the people talk, they will never shut up. But your own happiness and your true love is a one-way only ticket. If you lose it, it won’t come back.

So what do you choose? Live with the world? Care about what will they say? Or be happy?

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Do you want to go to study in the UK?Then you must read this (part 1 of 3)

Hello again. Today is about one of the best chapters of my life : being a university student in the UK. This post will have 3 parts as there are a lot of things to talk about.Therefore, the first part will be about the process and the first day in the UK, the second one about the university system and the 3 about student life and pros and cons of being a student in the United Kingdom.

But let’s get started. It all started in the autumn of 2010. At that moment, in my country, there weren’t too many people willing to study abroad. Most of them were either preferring to continue the studies in their country or don’t do a university course at all.This was not applying for myself too. I have always dreamed to study something related to tourism as since I was a kid , I wanted to travel and see the world. But the problem was that in my country couldn’t find any good university major related to tourism. One of my father’s friends was having a daughter in the UK so I have decided to contact her and see if it’s worth to apply for British Universities. After the discussion with her, something told me that soon enough I will be moving abroad.

I started to apply through UCAS and been accepted to 3 universities. One of them had an industrial placement for a year too.Hospitality and Tourism Management and 1 year of practice!!!! Words can’t explain the happiness I felt then. My dream came true. I had to pass an IELTS test with a minimum of 6 and had to have 8 in my Baccalaureate exam. I have passed them both with a higher degree than requested. There was nothing holding me back anymore.

In August I have received the enrollment papers and all the dates regarding enrollment and induction. On 23 September I left my country. This is the worst part.Imagine a 19 years old with 3 pieces of luggage, for the first time being separated from her parents and dog. I didn’t want anyone to come with me as I knew there may be a possibility to give up and come back. So I left the country by myself. I remember when I arrived in Luton, I was so lost and I would say scared that one flight attendant who saw me (can’t remember the name of the company)took me to the coach station and stayed with me until the coach came. The journey between Luton and Birmingham seemed endless.

When I arrived in Bham it was pouring.Everything seemed so sad. Or maybe it was just me. I eventually arrived at the campus and checked in. When I went to my room, 2 guys came and helped me with the luggage.One of them is still my friend :).Only after Iย  entered the room it hit me. I was alone. All by myself in a foreign country. Knowing no one. And as a “bonus” the Internet wasn’t working that day and my phone had a trouble with the roaming. I don’t think anyone can imagine the mental pain that I had to deal with that day. It was terrible. My dream came true but I was distraught.

After the phone started working,I called my mom and told her to tell my father to come and take me home. I didn’t want to stay there anymore. I didn’t care about the university anymore. I just wanted back home. Eventually, I fell asleep. Crying.Been woken up at 3 am by my neighbors who found out that there was a new girl in the flat and had to go and drink with them. My eyes were red and swollen. The last thing I needed was a drink. I refused them politely and fell asleep again. That morning was the one that changed everything. (part 2 coming soon)

Why do we play with feelings?

Yesterday I was with some friends celebrating a name anniversary.And we started to talk about relationships. One of the girls had a similar experience, with the difference that her guy never ever try to maintain contact with her. My ex called me first thing at midnight on New Year’s night. Acting like nothing happened. He continued to check all my Whatsapp statuses and liking everything I post on social media. Furthermore, he was one of the first people to contact me when he found out about the death of my friend.

What is it going on with him? Dumping me for his ex but being only with his friends on New Year’s party and sending me messages? I tried to answer only basic things but I wanted to ask him soo many things. It’s been more than 2 weeks but I still miss him. However,I chose to continue with no-contact strategy.

Why do we prefer to play with other’s feelings? Due to confusion? Preferring someone that we already know but running after others? Is it helping our ego to know that there are more people wanting us? In this case, he definitely doesn’t know what he wants. Or maybe he does but he is playing. It’s really stupid doing this especially to people that are really nice and don’t deserve this at all. My grandfather told me when I was a kid that the most important in a relationship is to treat your partner as you want to be treated. Love and give. Don’t expect the moon from him but from your part give everything.

But what happens when you give everything and not receive the same? Is it enough for a person to love and care for 2? Is it fair for someone to don’t receive everything from his/her partner just because they are a couple?

We all deserve to love and be loved. To be cared for and appreciated. I have learned that I am just losing my time waiting for someone who will never give me 100%. There are 7+ billion people in this world. Our soul-mate is definitely somewhere. Be patient and hope. And love those who really matter.

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If tomorrow never comes.

One of the best things about working in the hospitality industry is that you get to know people. Not only customers. They are coming and going. But you get to work in a team that if you are lucky enough can become like your family.

I had the chance to be part of 2 amazing teams. With most of my ex-colleagues I am still afriend and talk anytime we have the chance. During my last job, I had the opportunity to meet one of the nicest and funniest people ever. His name was Paul. I have never , ever seen him angry or sad. Or saying no to helping others. He was always there, anytime we were calling him he was coming and help. I’ve been blessed to work many shifts together and he taught me a lot of things. Both personal and professional. Such a lovely, funny and smiley person. Last time I talked to him was a couple months ago. He was happy, telling me about his family. His wife, children and granddaughter were his weak point. He was absolutely over heels when was talking about them.

Last night, I have received a message. It was from one of my ex-colleagues. “Paul went for a run and suffered a heart attack. He died” . WHATTTTT????????? Whooooo?????? I didn’t believe it for a second. I called my ex-manager. She was crying. Paul was dead. Our lovely man is not with us anymore. At that moment I hated myself. I have said so many times that I will call him or at least text to check on him. But always something came up and forgot about it. Now I can’t call him anymore…

The same happened with one of my grandfathers few years ago. I was getting ready to fly back abroad, as the holiday was over and had to get back to uni. I quickly went to say goodbye to him and my grandmother. Although he asked me to stay a little longer, that day I didn’t do it. I told him I was going to see him in the next holiday. Kissed and hugged both of them and went home. Didn’t think about it anymore. 2 weeks later, I dreamed of him. He was saying goodbye. The next morning he was found dead in the hospital. I didn’t have the chance to attend his funeral and say goodbye. 7 years later, I still feel guilty and it hurts that in that day I didn’t stay longer. Regrets are worthless now. It won’t bring anyone back.

The aim of this is to understand that we should appreciate more the people we have next to us. Call them more often, text and see how are they doing. Value them more when they are alive and not regretting after. It is enough a moment. To lose all. Maybe they are now in a better place. But we are left with wounds. Some goes with the time .Others stay there forever.

But what if tomorrow never comes?

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2018. The year of lessons.

 

D2L-Year-in-Review-2018-Blog-Banner-1400x400If I would describe 2018 in one word it would simply be :a lesson. It’s been one of the most beautiful but challenging years of my life. One that helped me discover myself and the people around me. It had everything:love, sorrow, happiness, friends , work, achievements and the most important: life lessons.

It made me realize that who is supposed to stay in our life will do it, who is not will leave. No matter how much you want someone, if it’s not meant to be it won’t. It’s been like a storm sometimes, but the sun was always turning up.

I had the chance to give up my old job, do new courses, develop myself, gaining strength to open the blog and share my stories. I lost people that I loved and wanted, been betrayed and abandoned, but all of this just helped me to become stronger and to stand up for myself. I learned to appreciate more the people that really care for and always supported and loved me. I stopped listening to others and be controlled by what people have to say about my decisions. I have discovered how to seem in the front of others when I was dying inside. I moved on.

New year, new projects, new desires. New ME.

If I would have to make a top 5 lessons of 2018, it would be like this:

  1. Never let yourself or your dreams down by anyone.ย 

You only have 1 life. For a long time, I left my parents or friends to have a say in my decisions. This year taught me to be more independent and follow my dreams and make my own decisions. My life, my choices.

2. Everything happens for a reason

It’s been a tough lesson to learn. People will come to your life:some will stay, some will leave. Don’t try to keep the ones who want to go. Don’t fight for them. If they are meant to be in your life, they will be back .If not, no. Everything happens for a reason.

3. Not everything is what it seems.

For almost 3 months I believed in a person who seemed perfect for me. He ended up being unworthy. It’s been so sad to move on from this, but it only made me realize that I am stronger than I thought. And I deserve better. Someone who really loves me and won’t dump on Christmas.

4. Be more positive and appreciate what I have and achieved until now.

2018 it’s been really funny, with lots of new destinations, travel and holidays. New experiences, new people, new things to learn. I learned to be more grateful for everything I have and understand that life is not always pink. It’s a carousel. Up and down.

5. Family and friends are everything.

The most important lesson of 2018 was that you are the wealthiest person if you have the ones you love healthy and next to you. Even though sometimes we are far away from our friends or family, we always know that we have a place called HOME. With people who will do everything for us and support us in hard times.

 

When crossing the line, 2018 was an amazing year. A year to remember. But 2019 is coming. With more hope, love ,new projects and new lessons. Let’s hope for a better year, for a more peaceful and happier year.

Thank you all who have been part of my journey this year. Wish you all the best and a prosperous and happy New Year. See you next year with more stories and experiences. So please continue to be part of Yanny’s Journey ๐Ÿ™‚

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

 

 

 

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

 

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Today is about Christmas. The most beautiful time of the year. The time when families are gathering together, when you hear carols and make the Christmas tree, eat good food and have fun.

Since I was a kid, Christmas is my favorite holiday. I remember when I was a kid and preparing cookies and sweet bread(Romanian traditional sweet). My grandparents were waking me up at 5 to help them cook. I totally loved it as I was having lots of fun and laughs. It was everything so funny, lovely and peaceful. On Christmas Eve, I was going with my friends and go to our neighbors and sing carols. In returnย  we were receiving oranges, cookies and money. After, it was time to decorate the Christmas tree and wait for Santa. I tried so many times to stay awake and wait for him but failed every time. The Christmas day was the day when presents were opened and the family was coming to our place. Our house was full. The next 2 days, we were going to have lunch at our grandparents and see our family friends.Christmas was perfect ๐Ÿ™‚

And it still is. Somehow. Unfortunately, nowadays people focus more on the material part of Christmas and not the spiritual one. We start to lose the traditions and believe that if we buy a nice present for the loved ones is enough. It is not. Christmas is about being with the loved ones, fun times, lots of laughs and peace. And gratitude for everything you have and for having people to share it with. For the last few years, the number of kids coming to sing carols decreased a lot. But instead, the shops are full.People running around to find the perfect present. I would give anything to be able to have a Christmas like I used to have when I was a child. But I can’t. Because some of the people left, some of them are in heaven. But the memories are still there.

We should feel Christmas. Today we should think about everyone in need and send our best thoughts. Be nice to people, love them. Be next to the loved ones and forget about the rest. Presents don’t buy feelings. If you are far from your family, call them . Send them a nice message. It means a lot. Christmas makes us better people. Gives us positive vibes.

It should be Christmas every day. Be happy.Be positive. Love. And if you feel lonely, don’t forget that there is always hope. Have faith. Things will only get better.

Merry Christmas everyone!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Why do we prefer to run from everything instead of facing it?

Today is about one of the greatest lessons someone can learn and that is to stop running and take responsibility for his/her actions. Nowadays, we are so used to take a short way and run if we feel something is too much that we forget how to face the ugly when it comes and maintain the human relationships. We are getting used to this since we are kids. In order to avoid being in trouble and receiving punishment, we prefer to act as nothing happened and throw the guilt on someone else.ย  Then , when we become adults, we keep the same template: job mistake ? not me…. failure? not me…. relationship not working? his/her fault.Not mine. It’s never us. Instead of understanding our faults and trying to deal with them, we choose to be the victims and wait for someone else’s support.

If people would understand to communicate and be more caring towards each other, this world would be a way better place to live. In my country, there is a saying : “No matter what,always leave room for hello”. How it would be if instead of leaving a person who truly loves us because of stupid things, we would try to find a solution and trying to make the relationship work and not replacing that person immediately “just because it didn’t work”? Or if we would understand that maybe we were wrong with our friends and having the courage to sorting it? Why do we lose important people in our life because of stupid things and running from responsibilities? Is it human nature?Education? Fear of not hurting the others?

Maybe one day we will change. Or we will learn from our mistakes. But what if we lose those people for good? What if is it too late and no turning back? We should appreciate and fight for everything we have . Don’t let people who truly love and care for you go. Stay, listen and talk. Do things together. Dream and make plans. Love and be loved. Because is the most beautiful thing it can happen to you.