Why do we play with feelings?

Yesterday I was with some friends celebrating a name anniversary.And we started to talk about relationships. One of the girls had a similar experience, with the difference that her guy never ever try to maintain contact with her. My ex called me first thing at midnight on New Year’s night. Acting like nothing happened. He continued to check all my Whatsapp statuses and liking everything I post on social media. Furthermore, he was one of the first people to contact me when he found out about the death of my friend.

What is it going on with him? Dumping me for his ex but being only with his friends on New Year’s party and sending me messages? I tried to answer only basic things but I wanted to ask him soo many things. It’s been more than 2 weeks but I still miss him. However,I chose to continue with no-contact strategy.

Why do we prefer to play with other’s feelings? Due to confusion? Preferring someone that we already know but running after others? Is it helping our ego to know that there are more people wanting us? In this case, he definitely doesn’t know what he wants. Or maybe he does but he is playing. It’s really stupid doing this especially to people that are really nice and don’t deserve this at all. My grandfather told me when I was a kid that the most important in a relationship is to treat your partner as you want to be treated. Love and give. Don’t expect the moon from him but from your part give everything.

But what happens when you give everything and not receive the same? Is it enough for a person to love and care for 2? Is it fair for someone to don’t receive everything from his/her partner just because they are a couple?

We all deserve to love and be loved. To be cared for and appreciated. I have learned that I am just losing my time waiting for someone who will never give me 100%. There are 7+ billion people in this world. Our soul-mate is definitely somewhere. Be patient and hope. And love those who really matter.

mahatmagandhi1

If tomorrow never comes.

One of the best things about working in the hospitality industry is that you get to know people. Not only customers. They are coming and going. But you get to work in a team that if you are lucky enough can become like your family.

I had the chance to be part of 2 amazing teams. With most of my ex-colleagues I am still afriend and talk anytime we have the chance. During my last job, I had the opportunity to meet one of the nicest and funniest people ever. His name was Paul. I have never , ever seen him angry or sad. Or saying no to helping others. He was always there, anytime we were calling him he was coming and help. I’ve been blessed to work many shifts together and he taught me a lot of things. Both personal and professional. Such a lovely, funny and smiley person. Last time I talked to him was a couple months ago. He was happy, telling me about his family. His wife, children and granddaughter were his weak point. He was absolutely over heels when was talking about them.

Last night, I have received a message. It was from one of my ex-colleagues. “Paul went for a run and suffered a heart attack. He died” . WHATTTTT????????? Whooooo?????? I didn’t believe it for a second. I called my ex-manager. She was crying. Paul was dead. Our lovely man is not with us anymore. At that moment I hated myself. I have said so many times that I will call him or at least text to check on him. But always something came up and forgot about it. Now I can’t call him anymore…

The same happened with one of my grandfathers few years ago. I was getting ready to fly back abroad, as the holiday was over and had to get back to uni. I quickly went to say goodbye to him and my grandmother. Although he asked me to stay a little longer, that day I didn’t do it. I told him I was going to see him in the next holiday. Kissed and hugged both of them and went home. Didn’t think about it anymore. 2 weeks later, I dreamed of him. He was saying goodbye. The next morning he was found dead in the hospital. I didn’t have the chance to attend his funeral and say goodbye. 7 years later, I still feel guilty and it hurts that in that day I didn’t stay longer. Regrets are worthless now. It won’t bring anyone back.

The aim of this is to understand that we should appreciate more the people we have next to us. Call them more often, text and see how are they doing. Value them more when they are alive and not regretting after. It is enough a moment. To lose all. Maybe they are now in a better place. But we are left with wounds. Some goes with the time .Others stay there forever.

But what if tomorrow never comes?

2062489-elvis-presley-quote-never-wait-for-tomorrow-what-if-tomorrow-never

2018. The year of lessons.

 

D2L-Year-in-Review-2018-Blog-Banner-1400x400If I would describe 2018 in one word it would simply be :a lesson. It’s been one of the most beautiful but challenging years of my life. One that helped me discover myself and the people around me. It had everything:love, sorrow, happiness, friends , work, achievements and the most important: life lessons.

It made me realize that who is supposed to stay in our life will do it, who is not will leave. No matter how much you want someone, if it’s not meant to be it won’t. It’s been like a storm sometimes, but the sun was always turning up.

I had the chance to give up my old job, do new courses, develop myself, gaining strength to open the blog and share my stories. I lost people that I loved and wanted, been betrayed and abandoned, but all of this just helped me to become stronger and to stand up for myself. I learned to appreciate more the people that really care for and always supported and loved me. I stopped listening to others and be controlled by what people have to say about my decisions. I have discovered how to seem in the front of others when I was dying inside. I moved on.

New year, new projects, new desires. New ME.

If I would have to make a top 5 lessons of 2018, it would be like this:

  1. Never let yourself or your dreams down by anyone. 

You only have 1 life. For a long time, I left my parents or friends to have a say in my decisions. This year taught me to be more independent and follow my dreams and make my own decisions. My life, my choices.

2. Everything happens for a reason

It’s been a tough lesson to learn. People will come to your life:some will stay, some will leave. Don’t try to keep the ones who want to go. Don’t fight for them. If they are meant to be in your life, they will be back .If not, no. Everything happens for a reason.

3. Not everything is what it seems.

For almost 3 months I believed in a person who seemed perfect for me. He ended up being unworthy. It’s been so sad to move on from this, but it only made me realize that I am stronger than I thought. And I deserve better. Someone who really loves me and won’t dump on Christmas.

4. Be more positive and appreciate what I have and achieved until now.

2018 it’s been really funny, with lots of new destinations, travel and holidays. New experiences, new people, new things to learn. I learned to be more grateful for everything I have and understand that life is not always pink. It’s a carousel. Up and down.

5. Family and friends are everything.

The most important lesson of 2018 was that you are the wealthiest person if you have the ones you love healthy and next to you. Even though sometimes we are far away from our friends or family, we always know that we have a place called HOME. With people who will do everything for us and support us in hard times.

 

When crossing the line, 2018 was an amazing year. A year to remember. But 2019 is coming. With more hope, love ,new projects and new lessons. Let’s hope for a better year, for a more peaceful and happier year.

Thank you all who have been part of my journey this year. Wish you all the best and a prosperous and happy New Year. See you next year with more stories and experiences. So please continue to be part of Yanny’s Journey 🙂

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!! 🙂

 

 

 

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

 

1511187490_shutterstock_149051369

Today is about Christmas. The most beautiful time of the year. The time when families are gathering together, when you hear carols and make the Christmas tree, eat good food and have fun.

Since I was a kid, Christmas is my favorite holiday. I remember when I was a kid and preparing cookies and sweet bread(Romanian traditional sweet). My grandparents were waking me up at 5 to help them cook. I totally loved it as I was having lots of fun and laughs. It was everything so funny, lovely and peaceful. On Christmas Eve, I was going with my friends and go to our neighbors and sing carols. In return  we were receiving oranges, cookies and money. After, it was time to decorate the Christmas tree and wait for Santa. I tried so many times to stay awake and wait for him but failed every time. The Christmas day was the day when presents were opened and the family was coming to our place. Our house was full. The next 2 days, we were going to have lunch at our grandparents and see our family friends.Christmas was perfect 🙂

And it still is. Somehow. Unfortunately, nowadays people focus more on the material part of Christmas and not the spiritual one. We start to lose the traditions and believe that if we buy a nice present for the loved ones is enough. It is not. Christmas is about being with the loved ones, fun times, lots of laughs and peace. And gratitude for everything you have and for having people to share it with. For the last few years, the number of kids coming to sing carols decreased a lot. But instead, the shops are full.People running around to find the perfect present. I would give anything to be able to have a Christmas like I used to have when I was a child. But I can’t. Because some of the people left, some of them are in heaven. But the memories are still there.

We should feel Christmas. Today we should think about everyone in need and send our best thoughts. Be nice to people, love them. Be next to the loved ones and forget about the rest. Presents don’t buy feelings. If you are far from your family, call them . Send them a nice message. It means a lot. Christmas makes us better people. Gives us positive vibes.

It should be Christmas every day. Be happy.Be positive. Love. And if you feel lonely, don’t forget that there is always hope. Have faith. Things will only get better.

Merry Christmas everyone!!! 🙂

Why do we prefer to run from everything instead of facing it?

Today is about one of the greatest lessons someone can learn and that is to stop running and take responsibility for his/her actions. Nowadays, we are so used to take a short way and run if we feel something is too much that we forget how to face the ugly when it comes and maintain the human relationships. We are getting used to this since we are kids. In order to avoid being in trouble and receiving punishment, we prefer to act as nothing happened and throw the guilt on someone else.  Then , when we become adults, we keep the same template: job mistake ? not me…. failure? not me…. relationship not working? his/her fault.Not mine. It’s never us. Instead of understanding our faults and trying to deal with them, we choose to be the victims and wait for someone else’s support.

If people would understand to communicate and be more caring towards each other, this world would be a way better place to live. In my country, there is a saying : “No matter what,always leave room for hello”. How it would be if instead of leaving a person who truly loves us because of stupid things, we would try to find a solution and trying to make the relationship work and not replacing that person immediately “just because it didn’t work”? Or if we would understand that maybe we were wrong with our friends and having the courage to sorting it? Why do we lose important people in our life because of stupid things and running from responsibilities? Is it human nature?Education? Fear of not hurting the others?

Maybe one day we will change. Or we will learn from our mistakes. But what if we lose those people for good? What if is it too late and no turning back? We should appreciate and fight for everything we have . Don’t let people who truly love and care for you go. Stay, listen and talk. Do things together. Dream and make plans. Love and be loved. Because is the most beautiful thing it can happen to you.

How being bullied can completely change your life. Is suicide a solution? (part 1 of 2)

Hi. This is a true story of a girl . Let’s call her S. She was one of many in this world who was bullied. Who had to fight with everything she had and don’t give up. According to the official figures, at least 50% of children are being bullied at least once per month. And it keeps increasing…

The first part of this post will show her story and how everything started. How she ended up being depressed and thinking of the worst. The next post will be about how she fought against the bullies and how asking for help at the right moment can save your life.

It all started at the beginning of the high school. A new phase of life, new colleagues, new chapter. Little she knew it was the start of the worst nightmare. The first few months went well , getting used to the new teachers and courses , trying to make friends and understand how the high school system worked. She had one of the most amazing tutors someone can ask for who kept the class as a family. Until one day…. when the tutor came to say she got pregnant and she had to leave them. The new one came and everything was lost. She started to make differences between them and didn’t know how to solve conflicts. It was unbelievable how the class was changing and becoming more aggressive. S. was having a problem. She was fat. Not because she was eating like a pig but due to some health problems. The time was passing by and the boys started to bully her really bad, One of the guys posted a picture of a cow online and tagged her. That thing destroyed S. She was only 15 when this happened. 😦 She decided to speak to her colleagues and explain the situation but it got even worse. Name calling, teasing, spreading rumors and offending by all means. This is what S. had to deal with. Because she was one of the smartest girls in the class, her colleagues were asking  for help. So she thought that by giving the homework and helping them, will stop the bullying and make them being more friendly. Nope. It didn’t work.

She started to  refuse to go to the sports lessons to don’t hear rude comments anymore, didn’t want to go out with her friends and do the things she enjoyed.S was feeling worthless, ugly, ashamed…she saw herself as a monster. After trying to speak to her tutor and ask for a solution,S. realised that no one will move a finger for her. Her parents were trying to find out what was going on with her, but the only thing they were receiving was a closed door. And silence. For 3 years, this nightmare continued. Being an introvert teenager with no way to escape from the high school situation took her to the point when she thought about suicide.

This was the end… S. felt too ashamed to ask for help or explain the situation to her parents or trust people anymore. Was suicide the only solution to stop the bullying? She loved her family and had dreams…but this nightmare was affecting everything. Until one day.(part 2 soon)

images

Is childhood a piece of heaven?

Hello again. As I said in my first post, today will be about childhood.Being one of the most important period of our life, childhood is the main point in helping us to develop as human beings.Is the stage when you discover games, friends and learn how to take care of yourself. But what happens when you discover that childhood is not great for everyone? When you realise that not having the toy or the gadget you wanted is nothing compared to a kid who has nothing to eat or play with? This post is about this: the good and the bad of childhood.

I was born in 92 , in a small city, without having any brothers or sisters. Being the first niece of the family, I was raised as a spoiled child.  My parents and grandparents were buying me everything I wanted (based on their possibilities) and made sure I was OK all the time. I had the privilege of being part of the last generation who had real childhood, with no gadgets like tablets, Iphones or anything like that. Nope. My childhood meant going out in the morning and coming home in the night. Lots of games, excursions, and laughs. Running in the rain,climbing the trees, hiding everywhere and looking for new things to learn. Pure happiness. I was having 2 teams: one younger than me( I was the leader) and one older (I was the youngest and everyone protected me). Both teams had some of the most fantastic people I’ve met in my entire life. They were funny, caring and we were there for each other all the time. We were going in house just to eat. Afterwards back to play, discover the world and make memories. The worst part was when our parents were calling us. As during the holidays I was staying mainly with my grandparents as there were my friends,my grandfather was always threatening me that if I don’t go in , he will call my parents ( that was the sign that he had enough and I really had to go back in ). There were neighbors hating us as we were way too loud and were running everywhere and disturbing them. I remember that once, because of the old ladies complained with our parents because she couldn’t stay on the bench outside and chat with her friends due to us, the guys from the old team stole it and hanged it out on a tree.

However, as the time was passing we were starting to understand things: that life is not only pink and not everyone has the chance to be raised in a loving family. Being a spoiled kid was also a negative thing because I was starting to think that I deserved everything and everyone was supposed to take care of my needs and fulfill my requests. Up to a point. Every summer holiday I was going at least one month ( there were 3 months of summer holidays) to see my aunt and her family. She is living in a small village and working in a kindergarten. It was 2004 when I had one of the biggest wake up calls of my life and the moment when I stopped to think only of myself and make other kids feel bad because they didn’t have what I was having. One morning, my aunt told me to go and help her with the kids. She was having  kids aged between 5-6. What could have gone wrong? Everything. I entered the class and there were 7 kids already. I started to play with them. They looked dirty.. 😦 I tried to be as nice and friendly as possible and started to teach them games. When the lunch break came, I realised that there were kids with no food. Their parents didn’t give them anything to eat. I was having a pack of cookies and sandwiches made by my aunt. That moment was the first time I understood life was not fair. They were kids. I was a kid. But they were suffering and I was happy.  No clean clothes, no hygiene and no food…. Welcome to the real world. I gave them my food and saw a smile on their face. The saddest thing was that one of them asked what was that black thing in the cookies? It was chocolate… When I came back home, to my friends, I learned to appreciate everything I had at its real value, been closer to the people who weren’t as lucky as I was and gave more to those who didn’t have.

Nowadays, I see many kids addicted to gadgets with no real childhood. I don’t see kids playing outside anymore, no more laughs or jokes, no more hide & seek players or games creators. The times changed, people changed, but the question stays. Where is the childhood? Why do we choose to put the childhood in an Ipad than making lifetime memories? Where are the parents cursing around that kids are staying too much outside and the kids creating friendships?

In the end, I can say that I have been blessed to have an amazing childhood with lots of memories. What about you? Was childhood a piece of heaven for you?

Memories-of-childhood-were-the-dreams-that-stayed-with-you-after-you-woke.-Julian-Barnes1.jpg