The frequency of love

In today’s society, love is more needed than ever. We all look for and crave love. Some of us admit some don’t. But the mechanism of life is given by love.

What we sometimes don’t understand is that love is not only the words ” I love you”. Love has its unique way to be prooved. A nice gesture, a message which shows care, being there for the person you love, showing support when they stop believing in themselves speak louder than the words. Phrases like ” I am proud of you/ I know you can do it”, ” Did you eat?/ arrived safely?”, ” I am here if you need me” or “You are not alone” weighs so much coming from the people you love.

Love is not only about your partner. Nope. Love has all the forms: love for family, friends, animals, hobbies, and so on. And this is the beauty of it. There are so many ways to experiment and offer love. However, what we learn with growing in life, is that we can give love to the wrong person. Not everyone deserves our love. Some people are really not meant for us. But imagine, if you can give love to the wrong person, how blessed will be the right one to be loved by you. Life gives us lessons, love too. It all depends on how much we want to learn.

And don’t worry if you are single now. We have all been there. Some of us are still. But this doesn’t mean that you can’t love or you are not loved. Because you are; look around you and see the people who care and love you. Look into your heart and see how much you love people. You may not be with the person you want now. That’s fine…Don’t despair. Maybe not now, but one day you will find that person who will love you like no one before. Because believe it or not, we all have our soulmate somewhere in this world. And one day you will find it. The only thing that is for sure is that love is the most wonderful gift life can give us.

Just married…29 years ago

Today is a happy day for me as it is my parents’ wedding anniversary. They celebrate 29 years of marriage. 29 years full of so many experiences that they may write a book about their marriage.

I always saw in them a role model: both professional and personal. But the best lesson they offered me was how true love still exists. It takes a lot of work, but if both of them commit, everything is possible. They started from scratch, with baby steps but managed to create amazing stuff together. They went through some extremely painful times, but hand in hand, their relationship became even stronger. Showed that love is not perfect, either are they, but never gave up on each other.

It is unbelievable to see them 29 years after they got married, with the same level of affection, respect, and commitment towards each other. There are times when I look at them and they act like teenagers in love. With small loving gestures, a dance, surprises, anything just to keep the flame awake. And guys, this is what we should all do. Every relationship has troubles, none is perfect, but it all depends on how much you are willing to invest.

Somehow, their marriage influenced me a lot in terms of romantic relationships. As it made me look for similar things and create the same environment as I have been grown with. My parents taught me a lot of lessons and the education they provided included some of the most important values in life. But what matters the most is that love is that thing that keeps you alive and that if you find the right one, then you won the lottery 🙂

Have a fantastic week and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey 🙂

My life is not your pit stop.

Today is one of those blue days when you feel like a robot, doing what you have to do but feeling empty. The perfect setup for the memories to resurface.The sad ones, not the good ones. It is a day when you either go back in time and be with that specific person or wish to have a superpower to erase him from your mind.

Maybe schools should have a special course about human emotions and feelings. Perhaps like this, people will understand that these are not toys but things that could damage a person for a long time, sometimes forever. You’re not a better person or more interesting if you play with someone…quite the opposite. It only shows your lack of empathy, education, self-esteem, and mental stability. I am sick of people coming into others’ life just for fun…or for not feeling lonely. Mate, my life is not your pit stop. If you come into my life, stay. Or do not come at all. It is that easy. Don’t make me fall for you when you have someone else or are unsure about your feelings for me. Tell me straight what you want, games are for kids, we are adults.

Dating nowadays is an absolute joke. Trusting people becomes an impossible mission, and loyalty, well, I think that loyalty slowly but surely only becomes a word in the dictionary, nothing else. You never know what a person is going through, which demons she/he has to battle. So don’t make it worse. Due to one like you, she/he may lose an amazing person because they will think that everyone is like you, so what is the point of trying again? Sort out yourself first. If you aren’t happy with yourself, no one will ever make you. Seeking validation or love from others, but having nothing to give in return, will only show how little and pathetic you are as a human. And remember that what goes around always, but always come around. Good luck with that.

There is a saying: “Use objects, not people. Love people, not objects”. We should keep this in mind.

A love story to remember.

It is a rainy day…one of those whose when the only thing you want to do is to stay in bed and cuddle and watch movies with your partner. And this weather somehow made me think of love today, so this will be the topic for today: LOVE. I went today and had a coffee with my grandma. She and my grandfather were together for 50 years. And they loved each other with the same passion until my grandpa died. They and my parents are my models when it comes to love and family. And we started to talk about relationships then and now. Somehow made me believe that maybe I was born in the wrong generation.

Nowadays, relationships are so complex but empty. We run from responsibilities, but want others to see how happy we are. We forget to build together, and when the first problem appears, we search for the easiest solving, which sometimes means either the cheating or the breakup. As my grandma was saying, people were cheating when she was young too, but now it got worse as the options are endless: social media, dating app being the biggest traps. Another thing that was different back then was that people were willing to build a life together. Now, we want everything to happen right now and not wait for things to unfold. I have friends who broke up with amazing people as they didn’t have a prosperous financial situation. Our generation is more impressed by looks and finances than the soul and what you can do with that person in the long run.

But what left me speechless was that my grandma said that people choose to stay in a toxic/out of love relationship just for the status. More specifically, what will people say? Since I was a kid, they taught that if you don’t love or don’t feel that a person is right for you, let her go. Never stay with someone just for the public status: oh, she is with someone. Nope. Be with someone who truly respects, helps you grow, and makes you become the best version of yourself. Unfortunately, I know too many cases where the man or the woman have lost the feelings for each other or are not happy anymore. But prefer to stay in a relationship for the status or the kids. And they not only lose the chance of being truly happy with someone else but also precious years, as life is not waiting for any of us.

So where is that pure, true love we all crave for? That one you take your partner and go on adventures? The one that makes you want to conquer the world and create the most amazing memories? That love that makes you feel complete and the luckiest person in the world? Am I too romantic? Am I thinking of something that doesn’t exist anymore? Or the fact that maybe we met the wrong people made us believe that love is not for us or doesn’t exist?

Until we will find the answer, I want to wish you all a fantastic weekend, and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey :)!

Online dating:biggest scam or best lesson?

Hello everybody! Today I want to talk about a topic that somehow affected my life lately. And I am sure I am not the only one.
Online dating started to gain more popularity, especially now, with this pandemic. People find it easier to get an idea of their possible partners on social media before meeting in person, which being honest, I find it pretty useful. However, the story changes when the reality has nothing to do with the “perfect picture/life shown online.” Because let’s be serious, all of us are trying to show and pretend to be the best on social media. I have been pretty lucky to meet some fantastic guys online that now I am blessed to call them my friends. But as every fairytale has its bad parts too, I had the bad luck to meet some people that received block immediately due to their way of talking. And the worst: been ghosted by guys that I caught feelings for, or found out that they were in other relationships.

Long story short, being a long-time single girl, I decided one night to reply on a social network app to a guy. Didn’t expect anything, so I just went with the flow. 5 hours lasted our first discussion. That type of discussion, that you never want to end. I felt such strong chemistry with that guy like I never felt before. Eventually, we talked daily, for hours. I went to bed and woke up with his texts. Days passed, and he became desperate to meet me, but not in my city. At the same time, he was avoiding letting me add him on Facebook which somehow raised a flag and made me think if he has something to hide. And he did. He was in a long-time relationship while trying to get me too. I confronted him, did not react, but at the same time, tried to get a date with me. He didn’t, and because of it, he stopped talking to me and unfollowed me on social media.

I start to believe that these apps are just a loss of time. It is like a lottery, but unfortunately, most of the time you lose, as some people are only looking to get laid and forget they know you after. So pay attention to the flags and what your intuition is telling you, cause you never know what you may end up with. It only may further decrease your self-esteem and may you question why weren’t you enough? Well, guess what? You were enough,they weren’t.

A toxic relationship:the worst nightmare.

Hello everybody! For the past few days, I had this topic in mind, trying to decide if I should write about it or not. And here we are.

This post is a true story that I hope will help others who are in the same situation. There comes a moment in your life when you fall in love with the wrongest person. You know, that type of relationship who takes everything and sometimes, everyone from you, but gives nothing instead. The relationship that makes you feel worthless, incomplete, and a total wreck.

Well, the wounds left after you break up with your toxic partner are extremely hard to heal. The mental and physical pain is so hard to deal with. It feels like you have no life left inside and have no clue how to go back to your life, the one before this nightmare.

And when you think that you healed and ready to move on, someone appears in your life. A handsome, well-educated, and sexy as hell man. The type of guy with whom you speak until 3 am and feel like it’s been a 30 minutes discussion and not 5 hours one. And he sees through you, your rawest side, the one completely naked (and not talking about clothes). And at that moment, the triggers start: The comparison with the toxic ex begins, bringing back memories and wounds that you project onto the new guy. And you start to question every little thing he says or does. You want him, but at the same time, you are scared as hell.

And then one night, he disappears without saying anything. And then the worst scenario comes to your mind: you have been ghosted again. He abandoned you too. And your anxiety, overthinking, and everything else hits again. Stronger than ever. Because you realize that you had a chance with a great guy and you lost it. But he comes back. Just had an emergency….. And then is the moment when you realize that you fell for him. But what do you do when the fear of the past, still plays you? Do you fight to open up and gain a chance to be happy? Or do you lose the guy, give in to the ghost of the past and live a miserable life?

Maybe life gives you a real chance to happiness or another lesson. No one knows but as Eminem’s song says :
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?”

The decision belongs to each one of us. Let’s just make it the right way. Love you all and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey.

Why do we play with feelings?

Yesterday I was with some friends celebrating a name anniversary.And we started to talk about relationships. One of the girls had a similar experience, with the difference that her guy never ever try to maintain contact with her. My ex called me first thing at midnight on New Year’s night. Acting like nothing happened. He continued to check all my Whatsapp statuses and liking everything I post on social media. Furthermore, he was one of the first people to contact me when he found out about the death of my friend.

What is it going on with him? Dumping me for his ex but being only with his friends on New Year’s party and sending me messages? I tried to answer only basic things but I wanted to ask him soo many things. It’s been more than 2 weeks but I still miss him. However,I chose to continue with no-contact strategy.

Why do we prefer to play with other’s feelings? Due to confusion? Preferring someone that we already know but running after others? Is it helping our ego to know that there are more people wanting us? In this case, he definitely doesn’t know what he wants. Or maybe he does but he is playing. It’s really stupid doing this especially to people that are really nice and don’t deserve this at all. My grandfather told me when I was a kid that the most important in a relationship is to treat your partner as you want to be treated. Love and give. Don’t expect the moon from him but from your part give everything.

But what happens when you give everything and not receive the same? Is it enough for a person to love and care for 2? Is it fair for someone to don’t receive everything from his/her partner just because they are a couple?

We all deserve to love and be loved. To be cared for and appreciated. I have learned that I am just losing my time waiting for someone who will never give me 100%. There are 7+ billion people in this world. Our soul-mate is definitely somewhere. Be patient and hope. And love those who really matter.