Expectations vs reality

Hello!! I hope you are all well and enjoying this time. As we have 5 days left this year, I wanted to share a lesson with you. How expectations create a toxic environment and affect our lives.

How many times in this life you didn’t expect someone to do something? It doesn’t matter if personally or professionally, but it is in our human nature to do so. What we don’t understand is that expectations are seriously affecting our mental health as most of them are not achievable. The worst part comes when you are in a relationship, and you expect so many things from your partner that you forget to differentiate imaginary from reality.

Just because you are kind to people, or show care and love, it doesn’t mean that they feel the same. Unfortunately, nowadays, people are nice to you as long as they can get what they want from you. After, they will treat you as you never existed in their lives. Stop believing that expecting something from someone will automatically become reality. People behave as they want, regardless of how you feel about it. However, in the long term run, you may suffer a lot. More than you can believe. When you stop expecting, you start realizing a person’s true colors. You want to be good and help? Go ahead. But don’t expect something in return. Some people have absolutely nothing to give(and I am not talking about financial stuff). Some know only to receive, never to give.

I learned this the hard way. I had expectations from people that I would have given me life for. Guess what? They turned up to be the worst people in my life. And people that I didn’t expect anything from, ended up being very important in my life. Do you want to expect something from someone? Then raise your expectations from yourself. Have more expectations from yourself as a person, professional, friend, everything. The biggest expectation that you should have in this life is to improve your life by believing more that you can do anything you want. Don’t expect changes or love or care or anything from others. Do it with yourself first. And you will see the difference. Love you all! 🙂

Just married…29 years ago

Today is a happy day for me as it is my parents’ wedding anniversary. They celebrate 29 years of marriage. 29 years full of so many experiences that they may write a book about their marriage.

I always saw in them a role model: both professional and personal. But the best lesson they offered me was how true love still exists. It takes a lot of work, but if both of them commit, everything is possible. They started from scratch, with baby steps but managed to create amazing stuff together. They went through some extremely painful times, but hand in hand, their relationship became even stronger. Showed that love is not perfect, either are they, but never gave up on each other.

It is unbelievable to see them 29 years after they got married, with the same level of affection, respect, and commitment towards each other. There are times when I look at them and they act like teenagers in love. With small loving gestures, a dance, surprises, anything just to keep the flame awake. And guys, this is what we should all do. Every relationship has troubles, none is perfect, but it all depends on how much you are willing to invest.

Somehow, their marriage influenced me a lot in terms of romantic relationships. As it made me look for similar things and create the same environment as I have been grown with. My parents taught me a lot of lessons and the education they provided included some of the most important values in life. But what matters the most is that love is that thing that keeps you alive and that if you find the right one, then you won the lottery 🙂

Have a fantastic week and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey 🙂

“If you focus on yourself,your ex will be back”

It is the title of a magazine that I saw today. I am sure that you know this statement very well, especially if you have been through a bad heartbreak. Everyone says the same: “Oh, do yourself, and when they will see you glowing, they will be back.” Really? It is so easy to say, but so hard to do it.
Ok, fair enough, you pay more attention to you, go shopping, change your appearance, but mentally? When mentally you are out of order, how can you focus on yourself? Have you ever appeared strong and acted like you moved on in front of your friends and family, but while you were alone, you were crying yourself to sleep? Ever felt like one moment you weren’t good enough for that person and the next one you would move mountains for them to come back? How can you focus on yourself, when you finally feel like you are healing, and it’s enough to hear a song or have a flashback, and you are into pieces again? Everyone thinks that if you appear happy, you moved on. Nope, some just learned how to hide the pain very well.

Let me tell you something that may be disturbing to you. That title is a huge BS. Why? Because when you focus on yourself and healing, you won’t need your ex back. You will understand that you deserve the best. And your ex is not. Your ex is just a lesson and a part of your PAST. You will accept that having your ex back is like reading the same book but expecting the end to be different.

If you want to focus on yourself, do it for your own good. Not for anyone else. No one truly knows what battles you are having inside or how hard it is to move on when the pain is excruciating. And remember one thing: someone who truly cares and loves you would never let anything or anyone to affect your relationship.

My life is not your pit stop.

Today is one of those blue days when you feel like a robot, doing what you have to do but feeling empty. The perfect setup for the memories to resurface.The sad ones, not the good ones. It is a day when you either go back in time and be with that specific person or wish to have a superpower to erase him from your mind.

Maybe schools should have a special course about human emotions and feelings. Perhaps like this, people will understand that these are not toys but things that could damage a person for a long time, sometimes forever. You’re not a better person or more interesting if you play with someone…quite the opposite. It only shows your lack of empathy, education, self-esteem, and mental stability. I am sick of people coming into others’ life just for fun…or for not feeling lonely. Mate, my life is not your pit stop. If you come into my life, stay. Or do not come at all. It is that easy. Don’t make me fall for you when you have someone else or are unsure about your feelings for me. Tell me straight what you want, games are for kids, we are adults.

Dating nowadays is an absolute joke. Trusting people becomes an impossible mission, and loyalty, well, I think that loyalty slowly but surely only becomes a word in the dictionary, nothing else. You never know what a person is going through, which demons she/he has to battle. So don’t make it worse. Due to one like you, she/he may lose an amazing person because they will think that everyone is like you, so what is the point of trying again? Sort out yourself first. If you aren’t happy with yourself, no one will ever make you. Seeking validation or love from others, but having nothing to give in return, will only show how little and pathetic you are as a human. And remember that what goes around always, but always come around. Good luck with that.

There is a saying: “Use objects, not people. Love people, not objects”. We should keep this in mind.

A love story to remember.

It is a rainy day…one of those whose when the only thing you want to do is to stay in bed and cuddle and watch movies with your partner. And this weather somehow made me think of love today, so this will be the topic for today: LOVE. I went today and had a coffee with my grandma. She and my grandfather were together for 50 years. And they loved each other with the same passion until my grandpa died. They and my parents are my models when it comes to love and family. And we started to talk about relationships then and now. Somehow made me believe that maybe I was born in the wrong generation.

Nowadays, relationships are so complex but empty. We run from responsibilities, but want others to see how happy we are. We forget to build together, and when the first problem appears, we search for the easiest solving, which sometimes means either the cheating or the breakup. As my grandma was saying, people were cheating when she was young too, but now it got worse as the options are endless: social media, dating app being the biggest traps. Another thing that was different back then was that people were willing to build a life together. Now, we want everything to happen right now and not wait for things to unfold. I have friends who broke up with amazing people as they didn’t have a prosperous financial situation. Our generation is more impressed by looks and finances than the soul and what you can do with that person in the long run.

But what left me speechless was that my grandma said that people choose to stay in a toxic/out of love relationship just for the status. More specifically, what will people say? Since I was a kid, they taught that if you don’t love or don’t feel that a person is right for you, let her go. Never stay with someone just for the public status: oh, she is with someone. Nope. Be with someone who truly respects, helps you grow, and makes you become the best version of yourself. Unfortunately, I know too many cases where the man or the woman have lost the feelings for each other or are not happy anymore. But prefer to stay in a relationship for the status or the kids. And they not only lose the chance of being truly happy with someone else but also precious years, as life is not waiting for any of us.

So where is that pure, true love we all crave for? That one you take your partner and go on adventures? The one that makes you want to conquer the world and create the most amazing memories? That love that makes you feel complete and the luckiest person in the world? Am I too romantic? Am I thinking of something that doesn’t exist anymore? Or the fact that maybe we met the wrong people made us believe that love is not for us or doesn’t exist?

Until we will find the answer, I want to wish you all a fantastic weekend, and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey :)!

Online dating:biggest scam or best lesson?

Hello everybody! Today I want to talk about a topic that somehow affected my life lately. And I am sure I am not the only one.
Online dating started to gain more popularity, especially now, with this pandemic. People find it easier to get an idea of their possible partners on social media before meeting in person, which being honest, I find it pretty useful. However, the story changes when the reality has nothing to do with the “perfect picture/life shown online.” Because let’s be serious, all of us are trying to show and pretend to be the best on social media. I have been pretty lucky to meet some fantastic guys online that now I am blessed to call them my friends. But as every fairytale has its bad parts too, I had the bad luck to meet some people that received block immediately due to their way of talking. And the worst: been ghosted by guys that I caught feelings for, or found out that they were in other relationships.

Long story short, being a long-time single girl, I decided one night to reply on a social network app to a guy. Didn’t expect anything, so I just went with the flow. 5 hours lasted our first discussion. That type of discussion, that you never want to end. I felt such strong chemistry with that guy like I never felt before. Eventually, we talked daily, for hours. I went to bed and woke up with his texts. Days passed, and he became desperate to meet me, but not in my city. At the same time, he was avoiding letting me add him on Facebook which somehow raised a flag and made me think if he has something to hide. And he did. He was in a long-time relationship while trying to get me too. I confronted him, did not react, but at the same time, tried to get a date with me. He didn’t, and because of it, he stopped talking to me and unfollowed me on social media.

I start to believe that these apps are just a loss of time. It is like a lottery, but unfortunately, most of the time you lose, as some people are only looking to get laid and forget they know you after. So pay attention to the flags and what your intuition is telling you, cause you never know what you may end up with. It only may further decrease your self-esteem and may you question why weren’t you enough? Well, guess what? You were enough,they weren’t.

When a stranger gives you the best lesson.

“I worked in the hospitality industry for three years. And this gave me the chance to meet some great people with whom I am still friends today. One of them is my ex operations manager. The person who tried to change my life while I was working with him, but I refused and learned the lessons he was trying to give me the hard way.

I was a very arrogant but at the same time depressed girl. The type who wants to change the world, but not today. I wasn’t saw anything positive, always complaining about everything. And in the end, after several times of threatening of living, I finally did. But before that, my ex-manager wanted to give me another chance and had a soul-to-soul discussion about being more positive and open to opportunities. I heard what he had to say, but didn’t pay too much attention to put it into practice.

I went back home, ended up unemployed and in the wrongest relationship of my life. The result? A depression that almost drove me to suicide, more toxic people, and a complete lack of sense in my life. And then is when I remembered that discussion, and realized that the problem was no one but myself. My life, my decisions, my results.

So I started to read personal development books, meditate, did courses and met new people and made new friends. And then came the biggest test: a new relationship. I’ve met someone amazing on the internet and thought he was the one…but after a month I found out that he was in a 6 years long-distance relationship. And then is when I understood that I was finally healed from the past and stronger than I thought. I left him but compared to my previous relationship, this time I knew how to deal with the situation and show more love and respect for myself.

And the most beautiful thing this taught me is that I am ENOUGH. It’s fantastic to have people who truly care and love you, but if you are not OK with yourself, you will never be happy. So cherish yourself more than anything else”

Hello everybody! This is an email that I received from a girl who wants to tell you her story. About how in life, you should receive the help and support at the right time and not wait until you are on the edge of life.

“I worked in the hospitality industry for three years. And this gave me the chance to meet some great people with whom I am still friends today. One of them is my ex operations manager. The person who tried to change my life while I was working with him, but I refused and learned the lessons he was trying to give me the hard way.

I was a very arrogant but at the same time depressed girl. The type who wants to change the world, but not today. I wasn’t saw anything positive, always complaining about everything. And in the end, after several times of threatening of living, I finally did. But before that, my ex-manager wanted to give me another chance and had a soul-to-soul discussion about being more positive and open to opportunities. I heard what he had to say, but didn’t pay too much attention to put it into practice.

I went back home, ended up unemployed and in the wrongest relationship of my life. The result? A depression that almost drove me to suicide, more toxic people, and a complete lack of sense in my life. And then is when I remembered that discussion, and realized that the problem was no one but myself. My life, my decisions, my results.

So I started to read personal development books, meditate, did courses and met new people and made new friends. And then came the biggest test: a new relationship. I’ve met someone amazing on the internet and thought he was the one…but after a month I found out that he was in a 6 years long-distance relationship. And then is when I understood that I was finally healed from the past and stronger than I thought. I left him but compared to my previous relationship, this time I knew how to deal with the situation and show more love and respect for myself.

And the most beautiful thing this taught me is that I am ENOUGH. It’s fantastic to have people who truly care and love you, but if you are not OK with yourself, you will never be happy. So cherish yourself more than anything else”

A toxic relationship:the worst nightmare.

Hello everybody! For the past few days, I had this topic in mind, trying to decide if I should write about it or not. And here we are.

This post is a true story that I hope will help others who are in the same situation. There comes a moment in your life when you fall in love with the wrongest person. You know, that type of relationship who takes everything and sometimes, everyone from you, but gives nothing instead. The relationship that makes you feel worthless, incomplete, and a total wreck.

Well, the wounds left after you break up with your toxic partner are extremely hard to heal. The mental and physical pain is so hard to deal with. It feels like you have no life left inside and have no clue how to go back to your life, the one before this nightmare.

And when you think that you healed and ready to move on, someone appears in your life. A handsome, well-educated, and sexy as hell man. The type of guy with whom you speak until 3 am and feel like it’s been a 30 minutes discussion and not 5 hours one. And he sees through you, your rawest side, the one completely naked (and not talking about clothes). And at that moment, the triggers start: The comparison with the toxic ex begins, bringing back memories and wounds that you project onto the new guy. And you start to question every little thing he says or does. You want him, but at the same time, you are scared as hell.

And then one night, he disappears without saying anything. And then the worst scenario comes to your mind: you have been ghosted again. He abandoned you too. And your anxiety, overthinking, and everything else hits again. Stronger than ever. Because you realize that you had a chance with a great guy and you lost it. But he comes back. Just had an emergency….. And then is the moment when you realize that you fell for him. But what do you do when the fear of the past, still plays you? Do you fight to open up and gain a chance to be happy? Or do you lose the guy, give in to the ghost of the past and live a miserable life?

Maybe life gives you a real chance to happiness or another lesson. No one knows but as Eminem’s song says :
“Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?”

The decision belongs to each one of us. Let’s just make it the right way. Love you all and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey.

An Easter to remember.

Hello everyone! I hope you and your families are all fine. Happy Easter!!Today is the third day of Orthodox Easter. And this is the topic for today. How this Easter (not only the orthodox but also the catholic one) was more special than in the past years.

We are going through a dark period. A period of uncertainty, mixed feelings, far from the ones we love and apparently with no brighter future. Apparently. I can definitely say that this Easter was one of the biggest life lessons someone could ever give us.

As much as I hate to say it, this virus also has something good. Brings people back together. And no, I am not talking about exes 🙂 I am talking about people that we always said we wanted to contact them but never got the chance, as we were way too busy, running for stupid things. Things that now are useless.

This Easter showed the human side of us. Not the material one. We didn’t have the chance to show off the last bag or dress we bought, the new mani/pedi we got or how we made our hair for a fancy party. Nope. We didn’t even get the chance to go to the church. We had to find the faith inside us. Or at least, what was left. For the first time, we had to find the light within ourselves and not get it from the church.

This Easter was a reset button for most of us. Why? Because we did or at least I hope we did understand that the biggest gift life gave us is the family. Having the opportunity to call your loved ones and hearing that they are safe and sound, is priceless. It was for the first time in 28 years when calling my grandmothers on the first day of Easter made me cry. Of sadness and happiness at the same time. It made me realize that I am more vulnerable and emotional when it comes to my family than I have ever thought. Not being able to see our friends,family and the people we love, showed once more how insignificant our life is without love. And closure. Maybe this virus and the quarantine will make all of us understand that we can have as much money we want, fancy clothes or expensive stuff. We can have EVERYTHING we want. But if we do not have our family or the people we love and care for, with us to share all of this, we are NOTHING.

Hopefully, next year, things will go back to normal and we will be together and celebrate Easter. But there will be different versions of ourselves. Better ones. Because, by then, we will learn to appreciate more the freedom and love. And live in the moment, without excuses.

Dogs.The gift from heaven.

Hello everyone! Today is about a very dear subject of my life: dogs. It is about something that I call: the gift from heaven.

Since I was a toddler, I loved dogs. I remember that when we were seeing old ladies with cats, my friends were making fun of me that I will be an old lady with dogs :). Living in the city, but having relatives in the countryside, blessed me with many dogs. During school, I was having a friend with who I was going to feed the abandoned dogs with food stolen from home. I always wanted to have my own dog but my mom never wanted. Until one day.

It was the autumn of 2010. 15th of September 2010. We had a lot of discussions in the summer of that year about getting a dog. Both I and my father put a lot of pressure on my mom and in the end, she gave up. So that day, after school, we went to buy a dog. I was trembling when we got there. And the second I saw him, I knew he is the one. I didn’t anyone else, but him. Bijoux, Maltese Bichon, 6 weeks old. It was the moment when I felt what pure happiness meant. He was there and mine. After 18 years of waiting, I had my dog.

The years passed and day by day I am loving him with the same intensity as the first day. We have been through so many things together that it seems like a lifetime with him. The only thing that I hate the most is saying goodbye to him when I am going abroad. He goes into depression mood and it takes him a few days to recover although he is having my parents with him. But overall he is the most amazing dog I could’ve asked for.

There are people asking what is the purpose of the dog. I think one of the most beautiful definitions is given in the Family Guy’s episode “Brian & Stewie” when Brian says that he wanted to take his life for not having a purpose in life and Stewie says “maybe making someone else happy is enough, because it is the best gift one person can give.” This is the purpose of the dog. Giving you the most real love and loyal friendship that someone can give you without waiting for anything in return.

Dogs are a gift from heaven. A gift that sometimes we don’t appreciate at its fullest value. Either because we are tired, busy or too stressed we forgot to give them the same love they give to us. But no matter what, they are there. And looking at them and seeing that sparkle in the eyes and their happiness when they see you it makes you feel whole again. It gives you the feeling that you’re home, loved and cared for. And nothing else matters 🙂