Dogs.The gift from heaven.

Hello everyone! Today is about a very dear subject of my life: dogs. It is about something that I call: the gift from heaven.

Since I was a toddler, I loved dogs. I remember that when we were seeing old ladies with cats, my friends were making fun of me that I will be an old lady with dogs :). Living in the city, but having relatives in the countryside, blessed me with many dogs. During school, I was having a friend with who I was going to feed the abandoned dogs with food stolen from home. I always wanted to have my own dog but my mom never wanted. Until one day.

It was the autumn of 2010. 15th of September 2010. We had a lot of discussions in the summer of that year about getting a dog. Both I and my father put a lot of pressure on my mom and in the end, she gave up. So that day, after school, we went to buy a dog. I was trembling when we got there. And the second I saw him, I knew he is the one. I didn’t anyone else, but him. Bijoux, Maltese Bichon, 6 weeks old. It was the moment when I felt what pure happiness meant. He was there and mine. After 18 years of waiting, I had my dog.

The years passed and day by day I am loving him with the same intensity as the first day. We have been through so many things together that it seems like a lifetime with him. The only thing that I hate the most is saying goodbye to him when I am going abroad. He goes into depression mood and it takes him a few days to recover although he is having my parents with him. But overall he is the most amazing dog I could’ve asked for.

There are people asking what is the purpose of the dog. I think one of the most beautiful definitions is given in the Family Guy’s episode “Brian & Stewie” when Brian says that he wanted to take his life for not having a purpose in life and Stewie says “maybe making someone else happy is enough, because it is the best gift one person can give.” This is the purpose of the dog. Giving you the most real love and loyal friendship that someone can give you without waiting for anything in return.

Dogs are a gift from heaven. A gift that sometimes we don’t appreciate at its fullest value. Either because we are tired, busy or too stressed we forgot to give them the same love they give to us. But no matter what, they are there. And looking at them and seeing that sparkle in the eyes and their happiness when they see you it makes you feel whole again. It gives you the feeling that you’re home, loved and cared for. And nothing else matters 🙂

2019- The year of transformation

Happy New Year lovely people!!!! I hope you will have a fantastic 2020, full of happiness and wishes fulfilled 🙂

“How was 2019 for you?” It is the question that I hear it since the year finished. And most of the answers are: “hard, nightmare, horrible”. Very few answers :”great, amazing, good”.

In my opinion, 2019 was a decisive year. A year of transformation. At least for myself. I started it with depression and I thought that it will be the end. It wasn’t. 2019 taught me how to raise and work to pull myself together. I lost and let people go out of my life: together or temporary. From priest to online help finder, I did everything to help me get an answer to what was wrong with me and why did I feel that way. A depressive girl in January ended up being the woman who helped others in December.

Regaining balance was the best thing 2019 taught me. And developing myself. I almost lost my grandma in July and that was a wake-up call. I started to get closer to the family, appreciate more the people around me and find out who was truly there for me. The transformation was going on, becoming stronger and with more lessons to get through. I stopped being the people pleaser, chose very carefully my entourage and started to fight for my dreams.

December was my final test. The man who a year ago, left me on Christmas day, got married. And then is when I finally understood that I was healed because I felt nothing at all. The winter holidays were the best in the last 7 years. Full of joy, love and happiness. The new me was there.

Looking back, 2019 was a beautiful nightmare. A roller-coaster that took me all over the places that I needed to improve and further develop myself. It was the year to gain back my friends and family. I hope that this one will be better and that I finally get everything back on track. Step by step.

And the most important thing: I want to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who are reading my posts and are part of Yanny’s Journey. I love you and wish you all the best!! 🙂

It’s the first day of the rest of your life.

Today is the day when I give up on all the negativity in my life. And leave behind all the toxic people, drama, stupid games or negative thoughts which retained me be from fighting for my dreams. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Even though we don’t realize or don’t want to accept it, we do have toxic people around us. You can see them everywhere: family, friends, work. But what is most important is how you deal with them.

In my opinion, there are 3 types of toxic people:

-Narcissist: Imagine that you are dating a guy who tells you he is the best, does this and that, possess things that he doesn’t and is the perfect definition of arrogance. He wants everyone to admire him, yet he doesn’t care at all about others feeling. Is a selfish and cold person who loves to blame others for his problems. EVERY TIME.

-Mr. Know it All: Imagine being with a guy who tells you what to listen, what friends to have, what to watch and how to talk…..Is the intellectual type who believes he is the best and knows everything that suits everyone.Is the one who has a solution for everything, concerning him or not.

-Drama Queens: My last ex is exactly this type. And I think is the most toxic type. Imagine dating with a guy who always has a drama.ALWAYS.And when you try to change the topic and be more positive, the call you heartless. Throughout my relationship with him, I gave up on so many people and chances just because he made me feel so worthless. I got to the point when I was feeling his bad energy and almost be caught in his drama. And then I realized something was wrong.I broke up with him yesterday. I couldn’t carry on anymore. His reaction? He started to play the victim role and cursed and offended me big time. But at least it’s over. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. This was the last drop.

It is time to take back my life and my dreams and move on. These toxic people made me understand that I have myself. And this is the most important. From my experience, I am telling all of you who are going through the same things: Don’t stay in a toxic relationship. RUN as far as possible. Don’t let anyone put you down. You deserve better things and people who are really able to love you. And no matter what, keep fighting for your dreams. Let today be the first day of the rest of your life.

A letter to my ex

Dear Ex,

I would like to start this letter by thanking you.For everything. We had an amazing time, but sometimes life has different plans for us. Maybe it is better like this.

I fought with everything I had to keep the relationship alive. Until one day…when I realised you were lying me big time. And then I stopped caring.The only outcome of this was the end of the relationship. Which eventually happened. And you were sure that going back to your ex will help you forget of me.

I stopped contacting you and I was sure that you will come back. You did. You started to contact me in any way you could even though you were with her. Nothing changed for me, I was still missing you. The old you. Not the one that broke up with me.

You left her too, as you weren’t happy . Found another one, with a child , who you believed will help you forget of me and make you happy.She was posting every single little thing you were doing on Facebook….. trying to mark her territory. But this didn’t make you stop thinking of me. As you continued stalking me on social media and liking every single post.

And then, on your relationship anniversary, you sent me a text. The last lie that I took from you. And then I realised that you will never change. You continue to be a person who doesn’t respect the woman next to him. Who doesn’t care how much your partner is suffering, as long as you are happy.

Learn that for a relationship it takes 2. One side love is not enough. I wish you all the best.To be happy and have the family you wanted. But do not forget one thing :Karma is a b***h. I have finally moved on and do not care about us anymore. I don’t tremble and smile when I see a like from you. Life goes on. No contact rule is on.

But I really hope you will get more mature at your 33 and treat the people the right way.And start to listen more. Life is not only about yourself. Is about the people you care too.

Now it’s time to say goodbye. What’s next? For you, to sleep with someone while thinking of others. For me following my dreams and find a new one. Maybe the next one will be the right one. For us, it is the end of the road.

Best Regards,

An ex who loved you more than you will ever know.

Goodbye 26, welcome 27!

If I would have to describe how it felt being 26, the first thing coming to my mind would be: roller-coaster. It’s been one of the most interesting years of my life.

I had the chance to re-discover myself, set new boundaries and learn new things. I lied, I’ve been lied to, I loved,cried, laughed as tomorrow will never come again. I lost friends,some of them forever. But the most important thing that I learned,was to pay more attention to myself and my needs.

26 was the age when enough was enough. When the dreams were more important than what would people say. Was the moment when I stopped toxic relationships and regain control over myself.I am not old, I am not young. The inner child is still alive, but the mature side is also there.

Had the opportunity to travel and discover new places. To push my limits and reconsider what really matters in life.In the end, I realize that no matter how bad you want something, if it’s not for you, it won’t be.

Today I’m 27. New year, new start, new opportunities and challenges. I hope it will be better than the last one. With less fake people. More love, travel, good books,friends and family. With more positive experiences and life lessons.

And with more posts on this blog 🙂 Yanny’s journey continues.

 

Why do we play with feelings?

Yesterday I was with some friends celebrating a name anniversary.And we started to talk about relationships. One of the girls had a similar experience, with the difference that her guy never ever try to maintain contact with her. My ex called me first thing at midnight on New Year’s night. Acting like nothing happened. He continued to check all my Whatsapp statuses and liking everything I post on social media. Furthermore, he was one of the first people to contact me when he found out about the death of my friend.

What is it going on with him? Dumping me for his ex but being only with his friends on New Year’s party and sending me messages? I tried to answer only basic things but I wanted to ask him soo many things. It’s been more than 2 weeks but I still miss him. However,I chose to continue with no-contact strategy.

Why do we prefer to play with other’s feelings? Due to confusion? Preferring someone that we already know but running after others? Is it helping our ego to know that there are more people wanting us? In this case, he definitely doesn’t know what he wants. Or maybe he does but he is playing. It’s really stupid doing this especially to people that are really nice and don’t deserve this at all. My grandfather told me when I was a kid that the most important in a relationship is to treat your partner as you want to be treated. Love and give. Don’t expect the moon from him but from your part give everything.

But what happens when you give everything and not receive the same? Is it enough for a person to love and care for 2? Is it fair for someone to don’t receive everything from his/her partner just because they are a couple?

We all deserve to love and be loved. To be cared for and appreciated. I have learned that I am just losing my time waiting for someone who will never give me 100%. There are 7+ billion people in this world. Our soul-mate is definitely somewhere. Be patient and hope. And love those who really matter.

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If tomorrow never comes.

One of the best things about working in the hospitality industry is that you get to know people. Not only customers. They are coming and going. But you get to work in a team that if you are lucky enough can become like your family.

I had the chance to be part of 2 amazing teams. With most of my ex-colleagues I am still afriend and talk anytime we have the chance. During my last job, I had the opportunity to meet one of the nicest and funniest people ever. His name was Paul. I have never , ever seen him angry or sad. Or saying no to helping others. He was always there, anytime we were calling him he was coming and help. I’ve been blessed to work many shifts together and he taught me a lot of things. Both personal and professional. Such a lovely, funny and smiley person. Last time I talked to him was a couple months ago. He was happy, telling me about his family. His wife, children and granddaughter were his weak point. He was absolutely over heels when was talking about them.

Last night, I have received a message. It was from one of my ex-colleagues. “Paul went for a run and suffered a heart attack. He died” . WHATTTTT????????? Whooooo?????? I didn’t believe it for a second. I called my ex-manager. She was crying. Paul was dead. Our lovely man is not with us anymore. At that moment I hated myself. I have said so many times that I will call him or at least text to check on him. But always something came up and forgot about it. Now I can’t call him anymore…

The same happened with one of my grandfathers few years ago. I was getting ready to fly back abroad, as the holiday was over and had to get back to uni. I quickly went to say goodbye to him and my grandmother. Although he asked me to stay a little longer, that day I didn’t do it. I told him I was going to see him in the next holiday. Kissed and hugged both of them and went home. Didn’t think about it anymore. 2 weeks later, I dreamed of him. He was saying goodbye. The next morning he was found dead in the hospital. I didn’t have the chance to attend his funeral and say goodbye. 7 years later, I still feel guilty and it hurts that in that day I didn’t stay longer. Regrets are worthless now. It won’t bring anyone back.

The aim of this is to understand that we should appreciate more the people we have next to us. Call them more often, text and see how are they doing. Value them more when they are alive and not regretting after. It is enough a moment. To lose all. Maybe they are now in a better place. But we are left with wounds. Some goes with the time .Others stay there forever.

But what if tomorrow never comes?

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