A challenge to change

Hello! My last post was a kind of a wake-up call. Something was completely wrong. So a call to action was required. For 30 days I challenge myself to change. I was on a webinar with Michael Beckwith a while ago and he said something like: ” your biggest enemy is the control. The moment that you understand that the only thing you can control is yourself, then your life will improve.”.

With or without realizing it, every day we are trying to gain control over things, people, events, anything. Well, guess what. This is just a fake assumption. I had a period when I was a control freak. You can’t imagine how much I was fighting to control every single little thing of my life until, in the end, I failed. And then I understood that I have to surrender and give it up. Because, in reality, you can’t control anything more than your mind and body. My last post was somehow trying to show that when you try to control/influence someone’s life, the only outcome you can get is losing that person or causing huge damage for nothing. For example, I want that person back, but this doesn’t mean that I can make him come or decide on his feelings.

This challenge is just the beginning. The warming. But for 30 days, I will put myself first and start to work on every aspect of my life, starting with the most important: mental health and wellbeing. If 2020 was the year of mental transformation, 2021 is the year of personal development. So bring it on!

Expectations vs reality

Hello!! I hope you are all well and enjoying this time. As we have 5 days left this year, I wanted to share a lesson with you. How expectations create a toxic environment and affect our lives.

How many times in this life you didn’t expect someone to do something? It doesn’t matter if personally or professionally, but it is in our human nature to do so. What we don’t understand is that expectations are seriously affecting our mental health as most of them are not achievable. The worst part comes when you are in a relationship, and you expect so many things from your partner that you forget to differentiate imaginary from reality.

Just because you are kind to people, or show care and love, it doesn’t mean that they feel the same. Unfortunately, nowadays, people are nice to you as long as they can get what they want from you. After, they will treat you as you never existed in their lives. Stop believing that expecting something from someone will automatically become reality. People behave as they want, regardless of how you feel about it. However, in the long term run, you may suffer a lot. More than you can believe. When you stop expecting, you start realizing a person’s true colors. You want to be good and help? Go ahead. But don’t expect something in return. Some people have absolutely nothing to give(and I am not talking about financial stuff). Some know only to receive, never to give.

I learned this the hard way. I had expectations from people that I would have given me life for. Guess what? They turned up to be the worst people in my life. And people that I didn’t expect anything from, ended up being very important in my life. Do you want to expect something from someone? Then raise your expectations from yourself. Have more expectations from yourself as a person, professional, friend, everything. The biggest expectation that you should have in this life is to improve your life by believing more that you can do anything you want. Don’t expect changes or love or care or anything from others. Do it with yourself first. And you will see the difference. Love you all! 🙂

It’s okay to not be okay

Hello everybody!! We wear everyday things like: “Don’t show your emotions, you will look weak.”, “You have to be stronger”, “Mental health is overrated.” Believe it or not, this affects us more than we may accept or understand. This year I started volunteering as a mental health listener for children and teens. What I have heard is unbelievable. Parents suppressing their own children’s emotions just for social stigma. Children being at the suicidal point for not being heard or understood while dealing with depression or anxiety. Where is this world going?

It is absolutely fine to don’t be OK. Life is not pink, full of unicorns in a perfect fluffy world. Nope. Life puts you down, gives you lessons, but it also lifts you. As an anxiety fighter myself, I know how it’s to be treated like weird when people don’t understand your feelings. I know how it’s to smile and be happy in front of others when inside my soul is screaming for help. Crying myself to sleep for nights without anyone supposing that something is wrong with me. Because for too long I thought that I have to be strong and don’t show emotions. Until I couldn’t anymore. And I ended up crying anytime, anywhere and feeling like I am worthless. Until one point, when I took myself to a soul inspection. I wrote down everything I was going through, and the worst part was that I had to solve my inner child’s problems. I am not done, as I still have bad days, but I learned that I am stronger than I thought and I am making progress day by day.

For anyone who sees this and is going through a hard time, you are not alone. You are loved and cared for. You can do anything, this is just a bad phase. Not the end. Show your emotions, your true feelings, ask for help if needed. You have me here. We are all in this together. Keep going, the best is yet to come. Love you all! 🙂

“If you focus on yourself,your ex will be back”

It is the title of a magazine that I saw today. I am sure that you know this statement very well, especially if you have been through a bad heartbreak. Everyone says the same: “Oh, do yourself, and when they will see you glowing, they will be back.” Really? It is so easy to say, but so hard to do it.
Ok, fair enough, you pay more attention to you, go shopping, change your appearance, but mentally? When mentally you are out of order, how can you focus on yourself? Have you ever appeared strong and acted like you moved on in front of your friends and family, but while you were alone, you were crying yourself to sleep? Ever felt like one moment you weren’t good enough for that person and the next one you would move mountains for them to come back? How can you focus on yourself, when you finally feel like you are healing, and it’s enough to hear a song or have a flashback, and you are into pieces again? Everyone thinks that if you appear happy, you moved on. Nope, some just learned how to hide the pain very well.

Let me tell you something that may be disturbing to you. That title is a huge BS. Why? Because when you focus on yourself and healing, you won’t need your ex back. You will understand that you deserve the best. And your ex is not. Your ex is just a lesson and a part of your PAST. You will accept that having your ex back is like reading the same book but expecting the end to be different.

If you want to focus on yourself, do it for your own good. Not for anyone else. No one truly knows what battles you are having inside or how hard it is to move on when the pain is excruciating. And remember one thing: someone who truly cares and loves you would never let anything or anyone to affect your relationship.

You are not good enough!!!….says who?

On the other side, when someone tells you this, pay attention to what type of person he/she is saying. Is he/she better than you? More experienced? Do they have dreams that they are working on? Or are those people who only live to interfere in others’ life?

I want to tell you something about my personal experience. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!!! YOU ARE CAPABLE AND ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR YOUR DREAMS!! Let them talk, is the only thing they can do. You do yourself. It won’t be easy…nothing is easy in this life. There will be days when you will feel like you can move the mountains…and days that will feel like the mountains are falling over you. So what? Keep going.

One of my exes told me that I would never be good enough for anything…one of my ex-friends believed that I will never be able to do what I always wanted. And the tables turned, and they saw me succeed. Because I know what I am capable of. So if they leave you or tell you that you should change cause otherwise you are not good for them, let them go… or you go. You will always be good enough who truly see the value of yourself and your potential.

“You are not good enough! You may not be ready for this! You are worthless!”. I am sure we have all heard this bs at least once in our lives. Either from a teacher, a parent, friend, lover, or family, these statements are some of the worst “weapons” people are using against each other. And the scenario is always the same: they either say it for your good or just because they don’t want you to embarrass yourself. One of my dearest persons had always dreamed of being a cop. Her father told her so much that she is not good enough to do it and that he only wants the best for her, that eventually, she gave up on her dreams, and even now, 30 years after, she regrets it.

On the other side, when someone tells you this, pay attention to what type of person he/she is saying. Is he/she better than you? More experienced? Do they have dreams that they are working on? Or are those people who only live to interfere in others’ life?

I want to tell you something about my personal experience. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!!! YOU ARE CAPABLE AND ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR YOUR DREAMS!! Let them talk, is the only thing they can do. You do yourself. It won’t be easy…nothing is easy in this life. There will be days when you will feel like you can move the mountains…and days that will feel like the mountains are falling over you. So what? Keep going.

One of my exes told me that I would never be good enough for anything…one of my ex-friends believed that I will never be able to do what I always wanted. And the tables turned, and they saw me succeed. Because I know what I am capable of. So if they leave you or tell you that you should change cause otherwise you are not good for them, let them go… or you go. You will always be good enough who truly see the value of yourself and your potential.

“You are not good enough! You may not be ready for this! You are worthless!”. I am sure we have all heard this bs at least once in our lives. Either from a teacher, a parent, friend, lover, or family, these statements are some of the worst “weapons” people are using against each other. And the scenario is always the same: they either say it for your good or just because they don’t want you to embarrass yourself. One of my dearest persons had always dreamed of being a cop. Her father told her so much that she is not good enough to do it and that he only wants the best for her, that eventually, she gave up on her dreams, and even now, 30 years after, she regrets it.

On the other side, when someone tells you this, pay attention to what type of person he/she is saying. Is he/she better than you? More experienced? Do they have dreams that they are working on? Or are those people who only live to interfere in others’ life?

I want to tell you something about my personal experience. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!!! YOU ARE CAPABLE AND ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR YOUR DREAMS!! Let them talk, is the only thing they can do. You do yourself. It won’t be easy…nothing is easy in this life. There will be days when you will feel like you can move the mountains…and days that will feel like the mountains are falling over you. So what? Keep going.

One of my exes told me that I would never be good enough for anything…one of my ex-friends believed that I will never be able to do what I always wanted. And the tables turned, and they saw me succeed. Because I know what I am capable of. So if they leave you or tell you that you should change cause otherwise you are not good for them, let them go… or you go. You will always be good enough who truly see the value of yourself and your potential.

A toxic relationship:the worst nightmare.

Hello everybody! For the past few days, I had this topic in mind, trying to decide if I should write about it or not. And here we are.

This post is a true story that I hope will help others who are in the same situation. There comes a moment in your life when you fall in love with the wrongest person. You know, that type of relationship who takes everything and sometimes, everyone from you, but gives nothing instead. The relationship that makes you feel worthless, incomplete, and a total wreck.

Well, the wounds left after you break up with your toxic partner are extremely hard to heal. The mental and physical pain is so hard to deal with. It feels like you have no life left inside and have no clue how to go back to your life, the one before this nightmare.

And when you think that you healed and ready to move on, someone appears in your life. A handsome, well-educated, and sexy as hell man. The type of guy with whom you speak until 3 am and feel like it’s been a 30 minutes discussion and not 5 hours one. And he sees through you, your rawest side, the one completely naked (and not talking about clothes). And at that moment, the triggers start: The comparison with the toxic ex begins, bringing back memories and wounds that you project onto the new guy. And you start to question every little thing he says or does. You want him, but at the same time, you are scared as hell.

And then one night, he disappears without saying anything. And then the worst scenario comes to your mind: you have been ghosted again. He abandoned you too. And your anxiety, overthinking, and everything else hits again. Stronger than ever. Because you realize that you had a chance with a great guy and you lost it. But he comes back. Just had an emergency….. And then is the moment when you realize that you fell for him. But what do you do when the fear of the past, still plays you? Do you fight to open up and gain a chance to be happy? Or do you lose the guy, give in to the ghost of the past and live a miserable life?

Maybe life gives you a real chance to happiness or another lesson. No one knows but as Eminem’s song says :
“Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?”

The decision belongs to each one of us. Let’s just make it the right way. Love you all and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey.

Top 3 ways to improve your inner happiness.

In a crazy period like this, it is almost impossible to find inner peace, let alone happiness. But we are humans and we need that state of mind to survive what is next. Therefore, this post is about how to improve and maintain your inner happiness.
This pandemic showed us that, at the end of the day it is just us and ourselves. And that we can’t rely our happiness on anyone else, as otherwise, in times like this, we would be going down for sure. This is why today I will present you top 3 ways to improve your inner happiness. So let’s get started.

Number 1: Recreate the bound with yourself

Although we don’t realize it, we have a very special relationship with our body and soul. We just have to listen to it. Pay attention to the signals, your body gives you and how are you feeling mentally. Take a look in the mirror and see how much you have changed or see the things you may want to change. (I am not talking about plastic surgeries or things that may affect your health). I am referring to the things that may make you feel better.

Number 2: Listen to your heart…and brain

Running to please the people and show how amazing we are seemed to be a national sport before this pandemic. Everyone showing their best clothes, cars, jewelry, and everything material they had. Well, what happened when this nightmare started? They lost their popularity as they didn’t have anything left to show. As they were “full ” outside, but empty inside. This is why number 2 is about feeding your heart and brain. Improve yourself spiritually. And it is not on the religious side. Nope.

-Read a book.
-Meditate.
-Pray (if you want).
-Learn a new skill.
-Call your family/friends/someone close (have a soulful talk).
-Play with your pet(if you have any).
-Create a journal/plan about what you want to do next and stick to it.
-Create a unique challenge. For example, I challenge myself to don’t pass a day without learning something new: a word, a notion, whatever. But learn.
-Do that hobby that you loved but you left it due to the lack of time.
-Start following your dreams.

Number 3: Leave the world to follow its path


There is a saying:” When the past becomes your present, you lose the future”. Read this again and decide what do you want. Stay in the past or live in the present and create your future? I am honestly telling you from my experience. When you think too much about the past, you are not only losing days of your life for nothing but also ruin your future. We should think of the past as a football game. A game that happened yesterday and that is over. Why do you want to replay the same game over and over again? Regain control over your present and create new games. Better games. Because at the end of the game called life, you do not want to be the loser…you want to be the champion.

To summarize all of the above, to find and improve inner happiness is easy. It just requires a little bit of daily time for yourself, discipline, and courage to become a better version of yourself.

The darkest hour is just before the dawn…

For a very long period, I refused to believe this. When people are looking at you and treat you as a failure, your first reaction is to see only the dark side. No lights at the end, no stars, nothing. Plain darkness.

Have you ever been in a situation when you feel like you have no option, life purpose or hope? A moment when you feel like your life is ending although you are still young? Well, it happens to most of us at some point in our lives, even though we want to admit it or not. And having people judging or leaving you when you need them the most is not helping too much.

When you are unemployed for a long period (1 year+) due to various reasons, people don’t want to listen to your story but treat you as if you deserve anything good. As if you are a wreck. This includes family. It is awful to hear from you blood-related people remarks like: ” Oh noo. This is the end of your life.no one will hire you now. You lost it all”.Not even a cheering phrase or a good word. Nothing.

And then you have 2 choices: give up or move on and see what life has for you. In my case,I’ve decided to isolate myself from those toxic people and look for support and help in strangers. And I managed somehow to see a light. It is still a long way to go, but at least I am slowly moving. I started another blog (travel one), I am doing new courses and developing myself both personally and professionally, and helping others who were in my situation. More than my closest friends and my parents, no one knows what I am doing, because I stopped giving an explanation to anyone.

I had strangers helping me more than my own family. And I fought so much with myself that I am finally proud of myself. Life goes on, but you can’t ever forget who was truly next to you when you needed them. Those who believed in you, when you were at your lowest point.Family isn’t always blood.Family is made by those who truly love and care about you.

And remember that no matter what you are going through at the moment, there will always be a light at the “end of the tunnel”. And that the darkest hour is just before the dawn.

2019- The year of transformation

Happy New Year lovely people!!!! I hope you will have a fantastic 2020, full of happiness and wishes fulfilled 🙂

“How was 2019 for you?” It is the question that I hear it since the year finished. And most of the answers are: “hard, nightmare, horrible”. Very few answers :”great, amazing, good”.

In my opinion, 2019 was a decisive year. A year of transformation. At least for myself. I started it with depression and I thought that it will be the end. It wasn’t. 2019 taught me how to raise and work to pull myself together. I lost and let people go out of my life: together or temporary. From priest to online help finder, I did everything to help me get an answer to what was wrong with me and why did I feel that way. A depressive girl in January ended up being the woman who helped others in December.

Regaining balance was the best thing 2019 taught me. And developing myself. I almost lost my grandma in July and that was a wake-up call. I started to get closer to the family, appreciate more the people around me and find out who was truly there for me. The transformation was going on, becoming stronger and with more lessons to get through. I stopped being the people pleaser, chose very carefully my entourage and started to fight for my dreams.

December was my final test. The man who a year ago, left me on Christmas day, got married. And then is when I finally understood that I was healed because I felt nothing at all. The winter holidays were the best in the last 7 years. Full of joy, love and happiness. The new me was there.

Looking back, 2019 was a beautiful nightmare. A roller-coaster that took me all over the places that I needed to improve and further develop myself. It was the year to gain back my friends and family. I hope that this one will be better and that I finally get everything back on track. Step by step.

And the most important thing: I want to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who are reading my posts and are part of Yanny’s Journey. I love you and wish you all the best!! 🙂

This Christmas you are not alone!

Merry Christmas everyone! Today we will talk about Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year. And sometimes, one of the periods which causes us the worst pain.

This post is for all the people who, at the moment are feeling lonely , heartbroken or in pain. Studies are showing that Christmas is the period when people who are struggling are feeling the pain stronger than ever. And I know how it feels. Last year, Christmas was hell for me.

I have been dumped a year ago, this day, through a text message stating that not only he leaves me on Christmas day, but also he cheated on me. The shock was so strong, that months after, I found out that I almost died that night. I still can’t remember anything else from that moment or the following days. One year after, I got my friends and family back, I am happy and healed, and slowly but surely, gaining the control back.The point is , that even the worst moment can be survived. You may feel hopeless, lonely or worthless. But you are NOT. For sure, there is at least a person who truly loves and cares about you, a reason to fight for or a dream that you always wanted to achieve. For anyone reading this and who needs help, please know that you are not alone. The darkness will pass, the light will come back into your life.

Depression can be fought, the same as loneliness or emptiness. You have the most wonderful gift someone can have: YOURSELF. Look in the mirror and see how beautiful inside and outside you are. Let the Christmas vibe get into you. Love and appreciate yourself more.

This Christmas, you are not alone. Make this the best Christmas of your life. Smile, laugh, have fun…be happy!!! Happy Merry Christmas!!!!!:)