Online dating:biggest scam or best lesson?

Hello everybody! Today I want to talk about a topic that somehow affected my life lately. And I am sure I am not the only one.
Online dating started to gain more popularity, especially now, with this pandemic. People find it easier to get an idea of their possible partners on social media before meeting in person, which being honest, I find it pretty useful. However, the story changes when the reality has nothing to do with the “perfect picture/life shown online.” Because let’s be serious, all of us are trying to show and pretend to be the best on social media. I have been pretty lucky to meet some fantastic guys online that now I am blessed to call them my friends. But as every fairytale has its bad parts too, I had the bad luck to meet some people that received block immediately due to their way of talking. And the worst: been ghosted by guys that I caught feelings for, or found out that they were in other relationships.

Long story short, being a long-time single girl, I decided one night to reply on a social network app to a guy. Didn’t expect anything, so I just went with the flow. 5 hours lasted our first discussion. That type of discussion, that you never want to end. I felt such strong chemistry with that guy like I never felt before. Eventually, we talked daily, for hours. I went to bed and woke up with his texts. Days passed, and he became desperate to meet me, but not in my city. At the same time, he was avoiding letting me add him on Facebook which somehow raised a flag and made me think if he has something to hide. And he did. He was in a long-time relationship while trying to get me too. I confronted him, did not react, but at the same time, tried to get a date with me. He didn’t, and because of it, he stopped talking to me and unfollowed me on social media.

I start to believe that these apps are just a loss of time. It is like a lottery, but unfortunately, most of the time you lose, as some people are only looking to get laid and forget they know you after. So pay attention to the flags and what your intuition is telling you, cause you never know what you may end up with. It only may further decrease your self-esteem and may you question why weren’t you enough? Well, guess what? You were enough,they weren’t.

A “love” gone like a wave.

“Hey! How did you find me?”. This is how the first text from him sounded. Did it ever happen to you to be at the right time in the right place? I don’t know what was: luck, destiny or just something it was supposed to happen. But I found him. After I gave up on my job, I have decided to come back to my country and take my parents on a holiday. I just needed to spend some time with them. And we went to places where we’ve never been before. We were exhausted after almost an entire day of driving and decided to find asap a place to sleep and eat. And we went to the place where I met him. He came with his relatives after we checked-in. The moment I saw him I had the feeling I have known him for a long time. We shared the same house for 3 days and talked just basic things.  We continued our journey but I couldn’t stop thinking of him. And one morning, when I was checking FB, I saw him on friends suggestions!!! I was sooo happy but at the same time confused if I should add him or not. I did it in the end. And then it all started.

After that first text, we continued to talk for hours. Everyday. He started to tell me about his life , family and work. I was falling asleep and woke up daily with texts from him. We got to the point when he told me he adores me. And started to make plans,even though between us there was a distance of almost 800 km. He wanted to come for Christmas and see me and arrange our first holiday for February. I’ve been honest with him from the beginning and explained that my dream is to go back abroad and further develop my career in the hospitality industry. He was Ok with it and even said that we can go together if everything goes fine between us. I started to have feelings for him and I was sure that he had feelings for me too.

Unfortunately, his mother had a health problem and we had to give up on our Christmas plans. And then he started to change. He became colder, more stressed, busier but he kept texting/calling me anytime he could. I was next to him and comforted him as mucj as possible.Until one day. Last Friday, I have received his morning text and by midday when he called me, I felt something was wrong. He tried to assure me he is fine but I know his voice when he is not. Eventually, we talked on Monday and told me he didn’t contact me anymore because he was busy and angry but nothing related to me. Then he disappeared again. And this time for good. He keeps checking everything I post on Whatsapp but that’s it. Totally ghosted.

I’m still asking myself if anything he said was true?Why he didn’t have the balls to be honest ? I’ve sent him a text and he quickly answered but nothing else. It hurts but at the same time irritates me his attitude. In the end I suppose it’s just another life lesson and the best thing I can do is move on. But I still miss the conversations with him.