Hello again. Tonight, my best friend, asked me to write her story. It is a true life story about the way that her parents are trying to live her life. Unfortunately,she is not the first or the last one to go through this but she just wanted to share her story with you.
I will call her B. B is a 27 years old, great, loving person. She would move the mountains for the ones she loves and is always there for whoever needs her help. But she has manipulative, controlling parents. Especially her mother.
But let’s start with the beginning. This thing started in childhood, when what she was doing was never enough. She was always told that her colleagues are better and that she would never achieve what the others do, as she is lazy and stupid. Her mother was monitoring her all the time, the only time being left alone being when she was at her grandparents. This continued as a teenager, when she was considered a freak by her colleagues and left outside. She had to deal with weight problems and although told her mother to look for help, the only answer received was”they will love you the way you are”. She wasn’t allowed to use make-up when going to high-school or go outside with her friends, without receiving calls from her mom. Parties or club??No freaking way. B went into a heavy depression, thinking of taking her life several times. But always she found a way to fight the demons and move on. When she was 19, she decided to move abroad and study. This was the beginning of her own life. Or at least this is what she thought. Her parents became even more controlling and manipulative. Her mother didn’t let her work and paid for her studies and everything else. But B had to give an explanation for everything she did. If she was liking a guy and her mother didn’t, she was supposed to break up with him. And she always did what they wanted as she loved them and wanted to make them happy and proud of her.
She finished uni, got a job, been on her own money, but the manipulation didn’t stop. When she was coming on holidays, her parents were making her believe that what she was doing was wrong, all her friends were wrong and they knew better what suits B the best. She gave up on her job abroad because of them,left her friends and everyone there and came back to Romania last year. She moved to her parents place and the hell began again. Whenever in public or with friends, her mother was interfering and telling her what she says or does is not good. B fell in love with a guy she thought was the one..I have never seen her so in love. She was radiating happiness. Until one day when her father told her that she must cut the communication with that guy as he is not good enough for her… She was distraught….she tried to hide it from that guy but changed towards him until one day when he broke up with her. It’s been 3 months since then and she is still in depression and not able to move on. Her parents were happy of getting rid of that guy while she was dying inside:( . Due to the manipulation from childhood and teenager period, she couldn’t have sex with anyone. Her therapist said that this is a blockage due to her parents reaction.
I saw her today.She is at the end of her powers. She feels full of regrets and is looking to leave the country. And thinking of no coming back. She is afraid that if she stays in Romania, her parents may come whenever they want….and breaking her life again. She was crying when asked me to write this…:(
She wants a family and someone to love and feel loved as I have never seen in my life. But she is scared….what if the guy will leave her again?? what if she won’t be a good parent??
Why would you do this as a parent???? She is lost, she feels hopeless, worthless and empty. And her parents are not helping her at all ….but the opposite. They are accusing her that she did a university on their money and now she can’t find a suitable job.
I really wish her all the best and to be able to be happy. She deserves it. But we both want to find out your opinion too. Especially from those who’ve been through this type of situation.
Why are parents trying to live children’s life??? Destroying their lives just because they want them to be puppets??? What for?? Something that they didn’t have in their life?? Frustration? Because I don’t think this is a normal behavior. Even though she is the only child, her parents should understand she is mature enough to move on with her life and stop living her life.