Just married…29 years ago

Today is a happy day for me as it is my parents’ wedding anniversary. They celebrate 29 years of marriage. 29 years full of so many experiences that they may write a book about their marriage.

I always saw in them a role model: both professional and personal. But the best lesson they offered me was how true love still exists. It takes a lot of work, but if both of them commit, everything is possible. They started from scratch, with baby steps but managed to create amazing stuff together. They went through some extremely painful times, but hand in hand, their relationship became even stronger. Showed that love is not perfect, either are they, but never gave up on each other.

It is unbelievable to see them 29 years after they got married, with the same level of affection, respect, and commitment towards each other. There are times when I look at them and they act like teenagers in love. With small loving gestures, a dance, surprises, anything just to keep the flame awake. And guys, this is what we should all do. Every relationship has troubles, none is perfect, but it all depends on how much you are willing to invest.

Somehow, their marriage influenced me a lot in terms of romantic relationships. As it made me look for similar things and create the same environment as I have been grown with. My parents taught me a lot of lessons and the education they provided included some of the most important values in life. But what matters the most is that love is that thing that keeps you alive and that if you find the right one, then you won the lottery 🙂

Have a fantastic week and thanks for being part of Yanny’s Journey 🙂

“If you focus on yourself,your ex will be back”

It is the title of a magazine that I saw today. I am sure that you know this statement very well, especially if you have been through a bad heartbreak. Everyone says the same: “Oh, do yourself, and when they will see you glowing, they will be back.” Really? It is so easy to say, but so hard to do it.
Ok, fair enough, you pay more attention to you, go shopping, change your appearance, but mentally? When mentally you are out of order, how can you focus on yourself? Have you ever appeared strong and acted like you moved on in front of your friends and family, but while you were alone, you were crying yourself to sleep? Ever felt like one moment you weren’t good enough for that person and the next one you would move mountains for them to come back? How can you focus on yourself, when you finally feel like you are healing, and it’s enough to hear a song or have a flashback, and you are into pieces again? Everyone thinks that if you appear happy, you moved on. Nope, some just learned how to hide the pain very well.

Let me tell you something that may be disturbing to you. That title is a huge BS. Why? Because when you focus on yourself and healing, you won’t need your ex back. You will understand that you deserve the best. And your ex is not. Your ex is just a lesson and a part of your PAST. You will accept that having your ex back is like reading the same book but expecting the end to be different.

If you want to focus on yourself, do it for your own good. Not for anyone else. No one truly knows what battles you are having inside or how hard it is to move on when the pain is excruciating. And remember one thing: someone who truly cares and loves you would never let anything or anyone to affect your relationship.

When a stranger gives you the best lesson.

“I worked in the hospitality industry for three years. And this gave me the chance to meet some great people with whom I am still friends today. One of them is my ex operations manager. The person who tried to change my life while I was working with him, but I refused and learned the lessons he was trying to give me the hard way.

I was a very arrogant but at the same time depressed girl. The type who wants to change the world, but not today. I wasn’t saw anything positive, always complaining about everything. And in the end, after several times of threatening of living, I finally did. But before that, my ex-manager wanted to give me another chance and had a soul-to-soul discussion about being more positive and open to opportunities. I heard what he had to say, but didn’t pay too much attention to put it into practice.

I went back home, ended up unemployed and in the wrongest relationship of my life. The result? A depression that almost drove me to suicide, more toxic people, and a complete lack of sense in my life. And then is when I remembered that discussion, and realized that the problem was no one but myself. My life, my decisions, my results.

So I started to read personal development books, meditate, did courses and met new people and made new friends. And then came the biggest test: a new relationship. I’ve met someone amazing on the internet and thought he was the one…but after a month I found out that he was in a 6 years long-distance relationship. And then is when I understood that I was finally healed from the past and stronger than I thought. I left him but compared to my previous relationship, this time I knew how to deal with the situation and show more love and respect for myself.

And the most beautiful thing this taught me is that I am ENOUGH. It’s fantastic to have people who truly care and love you, but if you are not OK with yourself, you will never be happy. So cherish yourself more than anything else”

Hello everybody! This is an email that I received from a girl who wants to tell you her story. About how in life, you should receive the help and support at the right time and not wait until you are on the edge of life.

“I worked in the hospitality industry for three years. And this gave me the chance to meet some great people with whom I am still friends today. One of them is my ex operations manager. The person who tried to change my life while I was working with him, but I refused and learned the lessons he was trying to give me the hard way.

I was a very arrogant but at the same time depressed girl. The type who wants to change the world, but not today. I wasn’t saw anything positive, always complaining about everything. And in the end, after several times of threatening of living, I finally did. But before that, my ex-manager wanted to give me another chance and had a soul-to-soul discussion about being more positive and open to opportunities. I heard what he had to say, but didn’t pay too much attention to put it into practice.

I went back home, ended up unemployed and in the wrongest relationship of my life. The result? A depression that almost drove me to suicide, more toxic people, and a complete lack of sense in my life. And then is when I remembered that discussion, and realized that the problem was no one but myself. My life, my decisions, my results.

So I started to read personal development books, meditate, did courses and met new people and made new friends. And then came the biggest test: a new relationship. I’ve met someone amazing on the internet and thought he was the one…but after a month I found out that he was in a 6 years long-distance relationship. And then is when I understood that I was finally healed from the past and stronger than I thought. I left him but compared to my previous relationship, this time I knew how to deal with the situation and show more love and respect for myself.

And the most beautiful thing this taught me is that I am ENOUGH. It’s fantastic to have people who truly care and love you, but if you are not OK with yourself, you will never be happy. So cherish yourself more than anything else”

A letter to my ex

Dear Ex,

I would like to start this letter by thanking you.For everything. We had an amazing time, but sometimes life has different plans for us. Maybe it is better like this.

I fought with everything I had to keep the relationship alive. Until one day…when I realised you were lying me big time. And then I stopped caring.The only outcome of this was the end of the relationship. Which eventually happened. And you were sure that going back to your ex will help you forget of me.

I stopped contacting you and I was sure that you will come back. You did. You started to contact me in any way you could even though you were with her. Nothing changed for me, I was still missing you. The old you. Not the one that broke up with me.

You left her too, as you weren’t happy . Found another one, with a child , who you believed will help you forget of me and make you happy.She was posting every single little thing you were doing on Facebook….. trying to mark her territory. But this didn’t make you stop thinking of me. As you continued stalking me on social media and liking every single post.

And then, on your relationship anniversary, you sent me a text. The last lie that I took from you. And then I realised that you will never change. You continue to be a person who doesn’t respect the woman next to him. Who doesn’t care how much your partner is suffering, as long as you are happy.

Learn that for a relationship it takes 2. One side love is not enough. I wish you all the best.To be happy and have the family you wanted. But do not forget one thing :Karma is a b***h. I have finally moved on and do not care about us anymore. I don’t tremble and smile when I see a like from you. Life goes on. No contact rule is on.

But I really hope you will get more mature at your 33 and treat the people the right way.And start to listen more. Life is not only about yourself. Is about the people you care too.

Now it’s time to say goodbye. What’s next? For you, to sleep with someone while thinking of others. For me following my dreams and find a new one. Maybe the next one will be the right one. For us, it is the end of the road.

Best Regards,

An ex who loved you more than you will ever know.

A “love” gone like a wave.

“Hey! How did you find me?”. This is how the first text from him sounded. Did it ever happen to you to be at the right time in the right place? I don’t know what was: luck, destiny or just something it was supposed to happen. But I found him. After I gave up on my job, I have decided to come back to my country and take my parents on a holiday. I just needed to spend some time with them. And we went to places where we’ve never been before. We were exhausted after almost an entire day of driving and decided to find asap a place to sleep and eat. And we went to the place where I met him. He came with his relatives after we checked-in. The moment I saw him I had the feeling I have known him for a long time. We shared the same house for 3 days and talked just basic things.  We continued our journey but I couldn’t stop thinking of him. And one morning, when I was checking FB, I saw him on friends suggestions!!! I was sooo happy but at the same time confused if I should add him or not. I did it in the end. And then it all started.

After that first text, we continued to talk for hours. Everyday. He started to tell me about his life , family and work. I was falling asleep and woke up daily with texts from him. We got to the point when he told me he adores me. And started to make plans,even though between us there was a distance of almost 800 km. He wanted to come for Christmas and see me and arrange our first holiday for February. I’ve been honest with him from the beginning and explained that my dream is to go back abroad and further develop my career in the hospitality industry. He was Ok with it and even said that we can go together if everything goes fine between us. I started to have feelings for him and I was sure that he had feelings for me too.

Unfortunately, his mother had a health problem and we had to give up on our Christmas plans. And then he started to change. He became colder, more stressed, busier but he kept texting/calling me anytime he could. I was next to him and comforted him as mucj as possible.Until one day. Last Friday, I have received his morning text and by midday when he called me, I felt something was wrong. He tried to assure me he is fine but I know his voice when he is not. Eventually, we talked on Monday and told me he didn’t contact me anymore because he was busy and angry but nothing related to me. Then he disappeared again. And this time for good. He keeps checking everything I post on Whatsapp but that’s it. Totally ghosted.

I’m still asking myself if anything he said was true?Why he didn’t have the balls to be honest ? I’ve sent him a text and he quickly answered but nothing else. It hurts but at the same time irritates me his attitude. In the end I suppose it’s just another life lesson and the best thing I can do is move on. But I still miss the conversations with him.